Good Bye my Brother. I miss you Kor.

It has been a month since you left us kor. It has been more than a month since I last wrote anything on this space. I am not strong enough to accept this fact as it is. I knew that the very next post is going to be a post to honour you. My brother, my role model my BFF. Yet on the other hand, writing this post is just too painful and it is like forcing the fact onto me again. There are no words that I can put together to tell you how much I miss you, how much I wish things did not happened this way. 

Our first and last solo picture together.

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I close my eyes every night hoping that you will be the voice to wake me up, you will be right there by my side, teaching me, scolding me and loving me once again. I wish that I can travel back in time to tell you what might happen to you and find a solution for it. I am ready to risk the butterfly effect of anything that might happen to me. I want to find a time machine, I want to find the dragon balls, anyway to bring you back healthy and happy in front of me but I know all this will never ever happen. I close my eyes sometimes and hope that you will call me, you will sms like you always do. I walk back to mum's place and I hope to see you sitting there watching tv like you always do but you are never there, never will be there. It hurts, I hate to go home now cause you are not there.

Our final family portrait.

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I have to learn to move on my life without you, taking the responsibility that has been on your shoulders all these years. At a young age, you took over the responsibility of being not just my brother but also my father. You influenced my life in every way possible. From music to sports to decision making, we share so many common interests I don’t even know what are the things that we didn’t agree on. There isn't a need for us to tell each other what to buy for each other during x’mas or overseas trip, we always know what we want and like.  The only reason why I can be who I am today is all because of you. You sheltered all these responsibilities from me, you gave me room to grow, and you gave me freedom. 

Your well deserved glory.

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I feel sad that you worked hard all your life but you never had the chance to enjoy it. You fought hard to become a pilot with the air force. We had little help from the family financially but you made things happened, you fought for your future. At a young age, you have a car, a home, a beautiful family. You have a career and you have kids. You have everything under your feet but time. Time was not your side. I always wanted to be like you, young and successful but I'm sorry to disappoint that I am not even half a man of who you are. I do not have a disciplined attitude like you. I do not have a big heart like you did and truly, I don’t think I will ever be where you are.

You made us proud even till the very last moment. I am very glad that you received the glory you deserved. Do you know you were on our major papers? I remember I used to joke about how I want to be on papers someday being featured not only on the obituaries but you beat me to it. I like fame, I enjoy fame and I was never as down to earth as you were. I remember years ago you bought me a keychain from Genting with a foot print and you told me you wanted me to be down to earth. Nobody knows my weakness as well as you did. 

You on wan bao.

You on TNP.

You on AsiaOne yourHealth

You on ShinMin.

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Kor, I have already shifted into my Punggol place, the one I got opposite your place. It was almost like it was meant to be. The moment you shifted into your place, we said that I will get the place opposite you and we can Mahjong anytime. I got my place but we will never be able to MJ together. You came to my place when it was still bare and naked, now it is filled with furniture and more but what is lacking is your voice and laughter. Kor, why did you do this to me. I was packing out things and I saw the toys we played, the things you gave me. You never fail to buy me things from every one of your trips and every thing you got for me always goes to my favorite list.   You always do your best to get me the things I wanted. Do you know how painful it was to box up all these things? I cried, I cursed at god, I scolded you, why are you not here with me to shift my house? I am your baby brother and I always need you by me, I need your help to pack these things together. Remember we had a plan to renovate my room at mum’s place so we could make a time capsule with all our toys? Our ninja turtles, our transformers and dragon balls. Why did you bail out on me? God, why did you take such a great man away from us? Why?

I cried like a baby the night I went thru these stuff.

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You were and will still always be a topic that I talk about. Since young I always go like “ My brother plays bball very well.” “My brother is a pilot.” “My brother drives this car.” All my friend knew you as if you were their friends cause you were always part of me, I am so proud of you since young. 

My brother the pilot

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There were so many friends who came to send you off that few days. I was very touched. Really very touched. All the msges, tweets, smses, I really appreciated all of them. I dunno how to thank all these friends that helped but I really feel very loved. You guys know who you are.

Many people told me that I now need to take over from you taking care of the parents or helping with the kids. I know it is my calling but I will never be able to fill your shoes. I hate myself for being helpless, I hate you for leaving this job for me and I hate that you created big shoes for me to fill. I know you love me too, I know you were proud of me too, although we are from a traditional family that we don't tell each other but from the things you have done I knew how much I meant to you.

We so smart hor!

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Do you know that I did a tattoo on your behalf? Remember the tattoo you designed a year ago but your doctor didn’t allow you to do it cause it was dangerous? You created a shield and it included everyone for your family. The thorns that represented pain. I know what you meant, you wanted to protect your family, you wanted to take the pain from them. You wanted them to be protected by Christ. It’s a shame you didn’t manage to get it down so I decided to do it for you. It might be one of the very last wish I hope I helped you to fulfill. I edited it a lil based on my understanding, I made it into a circle, circle to represent infinity, to represent completion. This is the shield of Will. I still remember how we were discussing about this design, we always ask each other opinion in everything, from purchase to action, we always discussed. I cried the day I realize I can't ask you if you like my edited design, I cried when the fact hit me so hard that I am all "alone" now.

Shield Of Will.

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I’ve no idea how to finish this post, there are so much emotions in me, I write, I stop, I cried and I write again. This is the hardest blogpost ever.

Like during my eulogy to you I mentioned that I dunno what is afterlife for me. I know you found a place with Christ, I know you are in heaven but I dunno if that is my calling. I lost faith, I haven’t been praying to any great power since you left cause nobody saved you. There is no miracle in my life. I hope I can find it some day, I hope I can meet you again. If there is a next time I want to be your brother again but this time round I want to take care of you. I want to be the one to take the pain and I want you to have it all. You could have had it all.

Below is a song that Ka Keong wrote for Ka Kiu when he died. I never imagined me playing this song for you but here it is.  Kor, I really hope you are at a place where there is only love and no pain. 

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Your wake was the most glamorous one, you had so many friends who wanted to talk about you, to honour you and to pay their last respects to you. We grieved, we cried, we smile and we prayed. Above all these emotions, we all missed you deeply.

Here is the eulogy by your boss, I thought it was so you. Everything he said was just you in every way. I might not know any of your co-workers before that but the stories you told me just allow me to easily put faces to name.

Eulogy by Moses Tan

Firstly, from all his friends in the RSAF to you, Kimmy, and all of Will's family, our deepest sympathies and condolences.

Good evening brothers and sisters in Christ. My name is Moses Tan and I worked very closely with Will in Changi Air Base and subsequently in Air Combat Command during the period from 2006 to 2010. I first got to know Will in late 2006 when I was posted to CAB. As most of you can recall, it was around that time that Will just had a tumour removed, recovered well and was embarking on a very different track of his air force career. If not for the visible scar he had, I really would not have realised that this is an individual who had just experienced a life-changing, near death episode. There was absolutely no display of resentment, anger nor wallowing in self-pity, for being thrust into such a situation so involuntarily. In his usual cheerful and positive outlook, Will was the necessary sanity in a S3 Branch's frenetic atmosphere. He was a rock!

I think many of Will's colleagues and friends can testify to his determination. Anybody coming into the S3 Branch – the workhorse of any air force base – would have to be in the pink of health, possess an enormous level of endurance, and be ready to put in loads of personal sacrifice. On top of that, working with me could easily turn anyone crazy. But Will jumped in feet-first, never skipped a beat and joined in seamlessly. He wasn't a mere supporting cast. With his background in IT and computers, as well as his well-grounded attitude, Will became an essential, reliable and loved member of HQ CAB.

As all good warriors are, Will was strong and yet gentle. He showed concern to people, not just people he loved, but to those outside of his circle of friends as well. Ever ready to help others in any way he could, almost to a fault. He always stopped to talk to our cleaner aunty, canteen operators and contractors. He was the first to know that one of our maintenance contractors was suffering from cancer, showed compassion, spoke to her and comforted her.

As a friend, Will was very dear. He always found time to be with friends, very loyal, very kind. Always ready to step forward when needed and extremely resourceful. I remember telling him that I hoped my car registration number would not strike the 4D that night because the number was sold out. He made some phone calls and with his cheeky smile told me, “Sir, kao tim liao. Remember to buy me dinner if strike”.

When I was slated to attend the KC135 conversion course in the US in 2009, Will was most helpful with my pre-course preparations. I inherited all his aircraft manuals, kneeboards, and even an aviator's flight bag. I also remember him saying that I could afford to spend the entire four and a half months in Altus without a car because all I needed to do was to buy my course mates beer and will be able to get to use their cars for free, and besides, everything interesting in Altus was within walking distance. Well, that did not happen. All my course mates were about half my age, and were not too keen to hang out with a lieutenant colonel. Clearly, Will was a person that could easily get along with people, even with the Ang Mohs. When I got to Altus, I found out that Walmart was a 2-hour walk from the base, each way! Not something I would readily do on a mid-summer's day. Later, I realised that he offered a similar advise to a certain MAJ Chan Wee Wee, who actually retraced the steps which Will took in Altus.

Being a NOOB to game machines and IT gadgets, Will was the guy responsible for introducing me to the world of Sony PSPs, Apple iPod Touch, and those really overpriced Crumpler messenger bags. He convinced me to get the PSP and I was hooked on to it in no time... until my son, Malcolm took it away from me. When PSP2 came out, he knew that I was looking for a reason to trade in the bulky PSP1. He went the extra mile to help me source for a 'buyer'. Little did I realise that he had to coerce his sister that it was a fair deal and that the soon-to-be obsolete PSP1 was good enough for her. Well, admittedly, I scolded him for the 'scam', questioned how he could do this to his baby sister, and immediately knocked off a few tens of dollars from the agreed price. Till this day, I still patronise a certain toy shop in Lucky Plaza level 3... he told me to always quote “I AM SMITH'S FRIEND”... a sure way to get a good deal and maybe a few free games. A really good advise indeed.

Ipod Touch... he showed me the Touch in 2008 and promised me that it would change my life. Certainly did! We even conducted lectures with the Touch, screening Youtube videos – all safety related – to keep our audiences awake. Beside helping me configure, jailbreak, and get up to date with technology, Will transferred many gigabytes of songs, Cantonese serials, and PSP games into my portable hard disk.

During my time with him, Will spoke fondly about many of you. Despite not having met some of you until these past few weeks, I had this very strange sense of familiarity the moment I could put a name to the face... all possible because I have heard about you from Will even before having met you. Clearly, he was always happy and enthusiastic to tell me about the important people in his life. I can only mention a few tonight... mainly because it is quite challenging for my fast failing memory to recall all that he told me, and really not so much that you were not in his thoughts before. Also, I am no word-smith. So pardon me if I have failed to paraphrase and articulate his thoughts accurately.

To Will's family, I have always admired the closely knit family that you have. Those birthday parties where there was a collective effort to organise the games for the kids, MC the event, coming out with interesting ice-cream flavours... many of us were really impressed.

Kimmy, you were his pillar of strength. He used to punctuate his sentences with “Kimmy” ever so often. You were always there for him, listened to him. With you beside him, there was very little left for his guardian angel to do. I noticed this very evident fighting spirit in him. And it became apparent where it originated from... when I saw you urging him to FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

His kids meant the world to him. At the time we spoke, Jordan wasn't born yet. Nonetheless, it was clear that Will was an extremely proud father who often flaunt his kids to us, especially through Facebook. He had lots of dreams for them. He wanted the kids to grow up wise, God fearing, respectful and successful people. I am sure he will continue to watch over them, protect you all from harm and appear in your dreams.

Smith, you guys were not merely Will and Smith by coincidence and you were more than just a brother to him. You were his BFF, shared common interests, so alike, in so many ways. Most importantly, you guys are fun people to be with. I am sure you will be around to teach his kids how to have fun, have a good sense of humour and turn a dull party around. To him, you were his best brother.

Joyce, Will was tremendously proud of you. He mentioned that although it was his responsibility to support you through your studies, he never found it a chore at all because he felt richly blessed to have a sister like you. Yes, he got you an old PSP, but I am sure you were equally happy with that.

He also spoke about his pals from 114 Wings Course, how one of the course mates had a mansion so huge that you could not see the house, standing at the gate; his squadron... like how Uncle Ho K would freeze up mineral water prior to the flight so that the crew have cold drinks in flight. I practically knew about the squadron before I even got posted to 112 Sqn; his basketball kakis... like Teh Hua Feng, who was not only a natural leader at work but on court as well; and the fun times he had with his gaming kakis in Kumpung Pungol. There are just too many to list.

Before I end off, I would do a very bold thing to convey his gratitude to some of the people that he felt very grateful to, on his behalf...

To Chief of Air Force, for making it your personal interest to ensure that our application for grants and assistance are addressed expeditiously, for this, he is truly grateful.

To Commander ACC, when it became inevitable that his wings could be removed after he was medically grounded from flying permanently , you stepped in, made the unprecedented decision to allow him to continue donning the sacred golden wings, despite the fact that he was only a CAT C pilot, he is truly grateful.

COL Ng Chee Keong, you prayed over him during his darkest moment, when he was filled with fear. Your words brought him strength, peace and comfort, he is truly grateful.

Foo Kok Chiang, you were there for him throughout. During his self-imposed driving ban, when he needed frequent medical treatments in the hospital, supporting the family during this challenging period, he is truly grateful.

Snooker, you hardly knew Will. But you worked tirelessly to raise funds, apply for grants, and bring comfort to his family during this trying period, he is truly grateful.

To his pals from 114 Wings Course, you guys took turns to keep him company, feed him, keep him awake when he could hardly keep his eyes open, he is truly grateful.

To commanders and men of the RSAF, your immediate response and generosity following our various appeals for assistance, he is truly grateful.

And finally to Will...

I know as humble as you were, you would be pleased to know that many of your friends have been grieving. We have all lost a dear friend, and we are going to take a while to get used to that.

Will, you have touched our lives during your brief stay here, and you will always be remembered.

Moses Tan

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Kor, I hope all is well for you. I will live strong and do you proud. It is hard but I will. 

Until next time Kor. 

I really really miss you. 

"When I want to do something, I Will get it done" - Will Leong explaining why his name is Will. But I believe the truth was because he was so into Fresh Prince of Bel Air then.

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Our Booth

For you guys who watched the most recent "How I Met Your Mother" should know what I am talking about. Like I was talking about how I love my life to be like a sitcom previously? One of the main reason was actually because of how I like the feeling of always being in a clique.I meant isn't it good to have a good group of friends who will laugh with you, laugh at you and totally no hard feelings at all? Everyone has their good qualities as well as things that really pisses us off but it's about how we fight and we still love each other after. You do not even need to look for dinner kakis, they are like just there for you.

The "perfect" friends.

The formation of cliques can come in many forms, like mention earlier the easiest way will be either your school or work place and some will be due to common interest and met at night spot or even the more geeky ones like forums/twitter or even facebook these days.

Although I look like I am a social butterfly who will flies around different social groups, I do really care about my close friends and always like the feeling of bringing friends together and hope that they will be one big group of common friends but sad to say it is very hard to achieve. For the simplest reason is that we are humans and we have difference in everyone. I am not talking about ironing out the differences but it's more like how do we compromise as well as is it worth the compromise. We have different interests, we have different daily happenings, we have different ideas, we have different experience and even different sense of humor but that is exactly what makes a group interesting! We do not see 5 barney(ies) hanging out and neither do we see 5 Joey(ies) eating together at the dinner table, no?

Not to make myself sound like an Anime character but friendship and human relationship is one thing i really treasure and as much as possible I want all my friends to move on together and have a good time every time we gather.

I use to be in so many different cliques that I can remember, from primary school to current days. What happened between all of us that drifted us apart? Did we not maintain our "close" relationship or did we just got "too busy" with life? Is it true that there are only so many friends one can keep? How many good/close friends can one keep? People grow up, people move on and people's interest changed. Is that what happened?

I suppose one person can't win it all?

I am not saying that I do not have good friends now, I still have my buddies who will meet me every now and than and you guys know who you are.(I suppose you guys don't even read my blog. -.- I sounded just like Barney.)

This post sounded emo-ish at this point of time which was totally not part of the plan. I was simply planning to talk about how I love to have a close group of friends and that's about it.

All I wish is to have a good group of friends where we know each other so well and we just talk and do everything together. Me, and you and our booth.

Vacancy up for grabs.

Mr.Smith, quality > quantity?

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有华人的地方就有Beyond的音乐

This is something I am very proud of. No, I am not part of the band but I grew up listening to their music. I might not be one who follows their news very closely, I can't memorize all their song lyrics and neither do I know all about them. But there is a special place these guys stand in my heart.

I was reading iWeekly and the reporter was talking about the recent drama 天与地 and how inevitable it will bring Beyond into our mind once again. Call me dumb or a fanboy but it has been awhile since I read something off a lifestyle magazine and I actually feel touched. It was a very weird feeling, an emotion I do not experience often. The journalist pointed out something very interesting, not just about the talent of Beyond but about what this single young man has in his head back than. How much he wanted to change the world with music and wanted things to be different. He made it happen using music. Too bad heaven needs talent and he was taken away at a young age of 31. He is none other than the talented lead singer/song writer of Beyond. - 黃家駒.  I can't say that I have heard it all in the music scene but I have heard him and it makes a difference in my life. It is not just about how his music touched me but it's the passion he had for music and for a bigger change in the world.

Beyond might be a reason why I am a dream makers, passion chaser and even a freedom fighter. I like how they have a passion for something and they do it with their best ability and not all commercial like music these days.

The journalist also pointed out something which is so damn true. When was the last time you heard people in the Chinese music scene writing about world peace?



When was the last time you heard people writing about his love to his mum?



I am not sure how much of Beyond do you guys know but I must say their songs ain't just like those recent emo bullshit that just goes i love you and Y U NO LOVE ME. I know this is the trend and I am sure love song is always a trend but they never move with the crowd. Instead they create new trends.





The short speech before the song was really touching. I do not believe he said that to make himself look good but instead he really mean it. Singing about world peace and anti-racist.



This has to be one of the KTV favorite? Singing about passion and life.



Although I am a Beyond fan but I never pick a Beyond song during KTV session cause 1 is never enough. I will go on and on. My heart goes to their song everytime I hear their song being played live even not by them. The time I 1st went dragonfly. I feel so at home when a band plays Beyond's music and play it well. The time I 1st went to live impact which is a thai pub. The thai performers sang a Beyond song. Although in Thai Accent but I still sang at the top of my voice and dance around. The time when the two Malay dude performed a Beyond song during Singapore Social Media Day. My heart almost dropped out. It was so blardy awesome!

I have no idea how the current guys hate each other or not but my heart still goes to the Beyond when
駒 was still with us. I have no idea if we can get a band to be like Beyond in the current market but I must say there will be no band that will be able to replace them.

Beyond is not just about good music but it is about how they touched people and change the world with their music for a bigger course.

 Beyond的音乐是永恒的。。。
 Beyond的传说是不会变老的。。。
 有华人的地方就有Beyond的音乐。。。

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Nice is crime

I have no idea how many of you will puke yourself to death if I start the topic with "I'm a nice person" but I am writing this post to complain how bad it is to be nice. I am not saying I am a saint or I am a really awesome person who has done nothing THAT bad. (hope you are okay)

Some of you might know that I'm involve with some money issues with a certain person I called friend. A certain person I trust and believe just because he is my friend. I was nice enough not to do too much about this issue and gave him time but ended up in a situation where now he told the official lies to get away with what he owes me rightfully. I lost faith. 

I am the kind of person who will give flexibility to my clients when they told me they can't give me cod because their accounts has a long procedure of clearing paper work and I will still do the work first but end of the day they will break their promise of the date to pay. I just hope that this little flexibility I am giving will let client feel that I am a good partner and will appreciate this and pay up on time there after.

I am the kind where I will lend my friends some money and nv expect to get it back cause I felt that if you are worth helping and if it's within my means I will. If I get it back, it's a bonus but apparently I am not getting the bonus yet.

I am the kind that will let people get up the bus before me if I think I am not in a hurry and maybe the next bus will be empty. But apparently SG bus is always crowded and there will always people pushing you away.

I am the kind that I will speak the truth to wake u up and take the role as a bad person but end of the day u will get it that it's for your good and I am trying to help but apparently I am still the bad person. 

Is it that difficult for humans to trust each other and give each other a little appreciation and a little faith ?  Must we live in a condition where we are all for ourselves and we just care about profit and not relationship? How could we live in a condition where there is no love? How could we live in a condition where we are so skeptical about each other's move and always watching our back? Apparently we could and we are doing it. 

Call me stupid, call me silly but I trust the people around me. I have a strong gut feeling about people who are cheating me or lying but too often I choose to ignore that feeling and go with my head and decided to trust but always ended up as the victim. How many more blows can I take before I decide to turn to the dark side and live a life without faith and trust? 

To quote optimus prime in transformer 3 

"In any war, there are calms between storms. There will be days when we lose faith. Days when our allies turn against us. But the day will never come, that we forsake this planet, and its people. 
"

Not all is lost as long as we believe.

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Lost Angeles Losers

Unknown Source from tumblr

I have nothing to say. Seriously nothing to say. I can see what is the issue with them on the court coming short in defense against the Mavericks but what is exactly wrong with them ? They were playing well after the All Star break, lost their home game against the hornet but this is suppose to the Zen Master's legendary 3peat and Kobe's 6th ring to match Jordan's and maybe 1 of the greatest rivalry of all time where Kobe gets to meet shag (Shaq) at the finals to face it off one last time but now? All is nothing but a stack of useless script in my head.

I understand that every team's have almost "equal" chance of winning a game but losing 4 and getting sweep at a conference semi finals is simply ridiculous. Artest getting suspended for game 3, Odom and Bynum getting ejected at the last game. Joke, this is a big fat joke. 

Playoffs just seems to lost all it's meaning all out of a sudden. As for now, let's BEAT THE HEAT !! 

Mr.Smith, Emo Nemo 

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Dreams : A Touching TVC

Kinda Unbelievable when it reaches the end and to realize what kinda TVC it is.



but no doubt this is really kinda touching.

Like they always say " 人因梦想而伟大“

I have my dreams, do you?

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1st Week into a new Decade...

We all remember 11 years ago when people sits beside their com "waiting" for the millennium bug to happen while some random religion/cult believes that 2000 is the end of the world but after 11 years life still goes on. (Althought the millennium bug DID happen on the iPhone alarm clock recently. like 11 years late though. )

Do you remember where you were or what you were doing back in year 2000 ? How far have you move on within this 10 years? If you have a kid born in year 2000, he is already ready to take this primary 4 streaming exams this year !

For me, I was taking my Os in year 2000 which is the final year of my secondary school education and this year will be the final year of my degree education. (Apparently nothing much changes eh ? )

I was on 56k Modem back then and I spent most of my time on "social media" back then. It's the mIRc. Making new friend, receiving music files and looking at advertisement. ( e.g " looking for a girl wearing pink just now at Tampines Interchange, I was the guy in blue and you smiled at me.) Now, I spent most of my time on social media (still) using this thing call 3G , making new friends, receiving news and still looking at text advertisement but of products. same same but different different.

My favorite arcade game was Tekken Tag Tournament and now it's Tekken 6. LOLX

I was standing 179cm and weight 101kg. This is like a roller coaster ride to 85 and then to a bottom of 77kg and back to 80 odd and now almost 90kg. Still over weight. Nothing much changed.

Single as of 2000, got a GF in 2002 and still the same GF. Still the same...

Stays at a little flat with a happy family at Tampines and still the same place. still the same..

Apparently looking at these comparison, 10 years ain't exactly that long after all right? Well, that's because I choose to look at the picture from such an angle that nothing much has change but the fact is that life moves that fast and you do not need 10 years to realize how much have changed in your life. One's goals, targets, dreams,mentality,position must have change some how. Like they always say " Changes is the only constant in life."

It's only 1 week into the new decade and a little too early to get all emotional over it but I suppose a lot did happen in these 10yrs. Looking back all at one go is like hitting myself with a ten years series of emotions. Happiness, Fear, Joy,Laughter,Anger,Disappointment,Surprise,Awesomeness,Fuzzy WOOO..

So how is life treating you so far?

P.S : I have backlog post about a recent Health talk I went as well as my bintan trip. I have no idea why I am blogging about this first. LOLX

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What ?

The positive energy is running low, as in like really very low. I want to blog about something fun and funny which I always do but there seems to be something/someone stopping me from doing it.

Myself

Sleeping is never a problem to me thus I will not go into insomnia mode but I seriously hate the quiet moment before I fall asleep. The thoughts of the things which I need to do which is against what I want to do.

We always fight for what we believe but what if what you have always believe ain't the truth or not even close ?

Dead-End

What will be your next step ?

I do not blame you if you do not get what I am blogging about for the simplest reason - neither do I really know what I am blogging about. I am just feeling all the thoughts rushing into my head and I just have to blog this...

WHAT is next?

WHAT have I become ?

WHAT should I do ?

WHAT can I do ?

WHAT ?

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Put things in perspective.

Rule 8.10 from "The Rules Of Work" by Richard Templar

"When all is said and done, it is only a job. It aint't your health, your love life, your family, your children, your life or your soul. If, by the way, it is any of these things then you really have gone badly wrong along the way.

Your job is just a job. Yes,I know you need the money etc., etc. But it is JUST a job and there are others.

Having a bad day at work shouldn't cause you to:

- lose sleep

- go off your food

- lose your sex drive

- smoke more

- drink more

- take drugs

- be more irritable

- get depressed

- get stressed.

But you'd be surprised how often these things are done by people because they have had a bad day. Yes, they may have had a whole series of bad days. But taken one by one , it is just a bad day. You have to learn to switch off, relax, not take it so seriously, enjoy it more , put things into perspective.

Get a hobby, get a life. You must work to live, not live to work. Don't take stuff home with you - learn to be assertive and say no. Put your family first. Spend time with your children - they will grow up so fast you will miss their previous childhood if you work your way through it - believe me I have seen my children grow up and it is so swift it is terrifying. It may seem slow and stressful at the time, but it zips past and then is irrecoverably gone - and you missed it because you were doing paperwork of an evening or attending another boring bloody conference at the weekend.

It is just a job. "

i am not sure how much of the above article that i understand is right. Did Richard just ask us to take it easy or did he just ask us to be not that responsible to our job? Did he said all that because he did or that or did he say all that cause he did the otherwise and felt that it should be done this way. If it's so, would he be less successful a person if he did the above ?

I have been stressing myself alot lately, yes alot. Not by my boss, not my gf not my mom. ( did I subconsciously mention all the 3 important woman in my life? - as of now at least)

- I am stress about not having enough money to get myself back into school.

- I am stress about my upcoming HDB, wedding, renovation, ROM, buying the perfect ring.

- I am stress about my work, which I shall not say too much about as I understand there are people out there reading and I do not wanna get myself into trouble. ( see, even when i post something i feel so stress.

- I am stress about not having my class 3 license yet and I know, I blame this on others as well cause everyone just keep asking me and i do not understand why the whole world just think that class is a fucking compulsory in life? If u seriously want me to have it, GIVE ME THE MONEY TO DO IT.

- I am stress over savings and I am so turn off I do not even have the mood to spent anymore.

- I am stress over the point that I do not want my kids to stress over the same things as I am stressing over now - I have a happy family but I still blame my dad for not being able to put me in a safe zone like some rich kids who can just complete their half fuck studies, get into uni, get a class 3 and even a car all covered by their parents. Trust me, with all these in hand these people are still asking for more and going emo over other stupid things. Yes I am jealous and I am very very jealous about rich kids.

- I felt that I am losing myself, I am not doing things I like to and I am doing things to make others happy or in another words like how @junnie247 put it, a betrayal to your dearest self.

- I can't help it but things are just running in my head and I felt like an under achiever all over again.

- I have hobby, in fact hobbies but I am not good at any of them and I just got my ankle injured again. I guess I might stop playing basketball soon.

AH ! G.Y.M SAVE ME !!!

"And now ladies and gentlemen, that's the ugly truth"

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The Right Of Path....

What do i mean the right of path..

i mean when in life..

what is the right of path ??

u go school..

u study..

u get a good job

u get a 9 - 5

u get married..

u give birth..

u provide..

u die..

so that is the normal right of path..

what if ur choice is to get out of the right of path ??

will it be more difficult ?

will u benefit more ??

will u be able to take it ???

i suppose yes and no ??

than again i would like to remind all.. the grass is always greener on the other side..

no.. i am not saying that we shld look forward to changes.. in fact i am saying dun be too comfortable with ur side..

and no.. neither am i encouraging pple to change.. in fact change is inevitable isn't it ??

but i suppose we must adapt to changes..

and what is hardship ? how much can one take ? and how fortunate is one ?

how do we measure ?

i dunno abt the rest..

i do not have a car..

i do not have a pay cheque of 5,000

i do not have a girl friend who looks like jessica alba

i do not have a body or face of tom cruise

i do not have a time table which allows me to slack and play golf

i do not have a degree..

but i am still very very thankful for who i am and what i have..

i have a very healthy body.. ( although abit fat )

i have a very happy family..

i have friends who are always helping out..

i have a girl friend who understand and shower me with care..

so what am i trying to say once again ?

i am saying be happy.. be glad that what u are given.. or rather in my point of view what i have work for.. what i have fight for..

i put in effort to talk to my family.. i put in effort to communicate.. i put in effort to meet up.. iput in effort to have meals together.. i put in effort to understand my friend.. i put in effort to meet up with my friend.. i put in effort to help my friends.. i put in effort to thanks my friend.. i put in effort to my girl friend.. i put in effort to show how much i care..

although effort is put in but i dun expect all this return to be something a MUST.. i must still thank them.. not taking for granted.. cause there is alot of times effort are put in but result are not shown.. but what i must re-emphasize is.. without effort.. dun even expect output..

u want money.. u work.. u work.. u have no time to play.. as easy as that..

u want freedom to run around.. u lost ur 9-5 stability..

u want a 9-5 job.. u lost ur freedom..

u wanna slim down.. u give up on unhealthy food

u wanna a better result.. u give up time and study..

at times.. we just cant get the best of both world..

but of course sometimes u do...or rather some does.. but when they do.. u be happy for them.. not angry over why u dun..

i dunno wat hit me to blog this.. i suppose it's those forums which i have been reading which causes me to have thoughts about alll these factors once again..

i see more unhappy faces around me than happy..

what is wrong ?

are pple losing focus ?

are pple just unable to feel contentment ?

are pple just simply ignorant ?

are pple simply "think too much "

are pple just unable to see thru the wall ? ( i wish i see thru clothes most of the time )

are pple just losing their happiness even b4 they found it..

i suppose our lives just get more n more complicated day by day ?

some pple have family.. but they dun like them

some pple have no family.. and they miss them..

some pple drives a car.. and hates driving it..

some pple dun have a car.. but wish to have one..

some pple wants a girl friend.. some pple just ditch theirs..

some pple do not have girlfriend.. and act like they couldn't care much.. but they are lonely..

there are so many problems around us.. can u heck it all ?

is solving the problem the solution ? are ur problems even problems in the 1st place ?

i guess it's time everyone take a step back and goes back to basic..

look at the problem as the problem itself..

if u drop ur handphone.. dun get angry.. dun worry u lost ur nude picture.. dun just blaming ur friend.. look at the problem again.. u drop ur handphone... solution ? pick it up ...

"Life is Simple... We made it Complicated..."

Mr.Smith,Happy

"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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So now....

We know each other for my then like 7 yrs ? since i was like 18 ?

I have done so much for u...

I done all i can...

I done my best...

And now u made mistake.. i left u...

And i am being ostracize...

We can not even be friends ???

Seem to me that you don't know the rule of the game ???

I am really disappointed...

I dun believe what i hear but it affects me...

I am living in denial ...

How would i react when i see you once again ???

anyway...

English



Korean



Mr.Brown ( still the best )




Mr.Smith, dun believe it.. i dun believe it..

"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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The People's Champion...

Was suppose to be going to Mambo last Wednesday until something came up last min and we have to call mambo off but it ain't the very last of Wednesday outing.

I was with keong at this funky "psycho" talk which turn out to be psych0-ing you to join their school and if you join their school you can earn this.. do this.. do that.. blah blah blah...

The only thing about that talk that both of us agree and like was the speaker's voice.. it's deep and the kind that you wouldn't feel irritated or agitated after listening for too long...

Ashton dinner is always FTW for Keong and I but there was like X number of people who are also suppose to be going to mambo with us but due to our aeroplane flying mission the party was called off and it turns into a kopi-la-ing session @ Carl's Jr.

We KO our dinner and we were down at Carl's at no time. And we met up with some of Keong's Ex Tennis team peeps like Merv,Derru,Sim which i already met and Merv's gf as well - Kat..

It was a good laff and we all enjoyed ourselves ( I hope for the rest but at least for me I did )

And I brought up this topic while we were on our way home. I was saying i pretty much enjoy hanging out like this with people i don't really know that well cause you hear different story and you dun judge them in any basis and generally we give each other more "respect" than your good old friends whom u are closer with ?

So what causes this feeling ? - i explain it in a manner for example - If Kelvin always know i dun drink green tea and when we say we share a drink and he buy Green Tea. He might have slip his mind this time round but i will judge and be skeptical - Did he do it on purpose ? or Sian.. know him so well how come he forget i dun green green tea - which might spoilt my nite.. BUT, being not as close, say merv got me agreen tea.. i wouldn't show it out.. my EQ is telling me that Merv doesn't no.. and being him and not as close he will also double check " is this okay ? " i will also reply " oh it's okay it's okay "

Which is why i felt the more comfortable a person get's with another, more formality is drop, more respect is drop, but of course on the other hand, more concern and more care is bagged. And this is where miscommunication and the didn't sync part screw everything up between friends. When Mr A felt that we all so close already.. i think it's okay.. but Mr B felt unappreciated when he help Mr A so much, getting this, aliasing this and that and Mr A didn't even buy him a drink nor did Mr A even say thanks.. Mr A just felt like it's okay.

It is this difference in rules which make people different and makes things complicated. Is there no way we can sync this like pairing our bluetooth devices ? - NO .

And Keong was saying I am a pretty relational kinda person where i make an effort to update people around me what's happening to me ( no.. not just my plurk,twitter or FB ) is how I make an effort to msn people and talk, sms people, meet up with people kinda thing, and yup.. without knowing it i am actually pretty good with small talks which i suppose that's what made me make friends pretty easy..

Keong always felt that he is anti-social, dun bother to play his part in a friendship,not out spoken but i dunno abt how he treat his other friend but for me i felt that he is not. IF keong is anti social, he wouldn't be that close with his ex-tennis players, he wouldn't be having friends like us, he wouldn't have student going to him for more lesson. I guess one thing which keong didn't know that he made a difference in his friend's life was making them feel appreciated..

I duno about the rest, I might be wrong but Keong always make me feel appreciated when i do even a very little things he show gratitude and he remember it as well. And he always tell me what go am I in and stuff which i suppose he make people feel confident about themselves too ?

But then again, making new friends and the ability to keep the old friends is two different ball game...

I just can't find the original article i read few days back but if i am not wrong.. it's something like this -

A boy and a girl was playing. The boy has marbles and the girl has sweets. The boy told the girl why not he trade with her all his marbles for all her sweets and the girl agree. But b4 they traded, the boy kept the biggest and most beautiful marble in his pocket but the girl give him all the sweets she has.

When night fall and both the kids were on bed, the boy couldn't sleep. Staying awake the whole night wondering if the girl kept to herself the best and biggest sweet while the girl is sleeping soundly with the new marbles she acquired...

Bottom Line : If you don't give your hundred percent, you will doubt on people's effort too

I know i know.. i know people will argue that there are people who dun give 100 but still can slp, there are pple who give 100 and got their feeling cheated..

so what's ur choice ?

Mr.Smith,human are disgusting..




"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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The Big Question Mark !!

The Big Question Mark which i gave everyone this week..

I have been slowly revealing it to more pple around me and no one could believe it..

the only person who "saw it coming" was him...

pple know me.. pple know how much i like it.. how much i have the passion for it..

when i choose to exit.. the answer is simple.. it's more than meets the eye..

as much as i wish i can share with all what happen..

it's not professional for me to do it..

i suppose this is just a part of everybody's life.. so be too shock or too worry peeps..

life goes on...

Mr.Smith, MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE !



"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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The Cheena Post...

My Friend Says :

条件真的比感觉还来的重要吗？？


谈恋爱如果只剩下条件的话，不是很悲惨吗？？


条件能让你快乐？？还是能让你幸福？？


当你靠近一个人， 那种心跳加速，害羞的感觉。。。


你还有吗？？？

My Reply :

感觉虽重要，可是感觉会顺着时间而改变。。。

那种感觉也有可能是应为符合条件而产生的。。。

心跳加速，害羞的感觉是一种大家都渴望而喜欢的感觉。。。就像甜甜的初恋。。。 可是事实摆在眼前。。。 这是不可能长久的。。。

可是真爱是永恒的。。。

爱没有一个规规矩矩的访陈式。。。不要应为追求完美而失去更多。。。

大胆的去爱吧。。。

FYI: this took me more then 10 mins to type.. 他妈的。。。

This is really not simple...

Mr.Smith, Respect Chinese Blogger !

"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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Geeky Town !

This is damm cute...

Smith's Newly Purchase Specs - $12
Cynthia's Iphone - $198 ( i think )
OT in Office Together - $0
Colleagues' Smile while having fun together - Priceless..


So gonna miss these idiots...

Mr.Smith, Nice Man ( Self-proclaimed ).. Foul Mouth.. Even when i say i love u..

"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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Big Strawberries Ice Cream and Mothers' Day !

Foreplay : Feeling very emo recently due to u know what and u know why.. haiz.. hope i can quickly get it over and done with and we shall see where we go after that... QUICK QUICK QUICK !

This is a backday post of a pre celebrated event..

Celebrated my mothers' day with my mama on the 3rd and on 10th.. treat my mum eat Hongkong Cafe on the 3rd as my mum has nv been there b4.. i feel quite sad for my mama as i canot give her a good life.. she is always saving saving saving for the family and to me HK cafe is like a anytime thing but to mama she only willing to eat on special ocassion cause she wanna save for the family.. and i am always spending on gadgets and holidays and stuff.. = ( Guilty.. and today we went over to Kor Place for gathering.. but i nv take any picture lor..

Anyway.. Picture from last week...



And Feeling Damm emo abt alot of things recently but i seriously dun hope i affect everyone else around me but being vocal and emotional.. i suppose i have affect pretty many many many pple.. haiz...

+ve !! Love love from Cynthia !



and mummy mummy got us something very.. erm.. special ? scary ? i dunno man..

GIANT GIANT !!



low cash.. low morale.. low mood.. low low low...

maybe i shld go do something out of the box and ease my pain??

Tattoo anyone ??

Mr.Smith.. I WANT TO BREAK FREE !!


"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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.....

when it was just an idea behind ur head.. u just thought it was another thought.. as time goes closer u feel the fear of losing it..

but u know u need to let it go..

u know it is hard to let go.. and u fear that the other party might not take it as well as u do...

u will think of the good times u share together.. the fun.. the laughter.. the tears.. the sweat..

but in order to go futher.. we need to let go...

u still hope that u guys still could be friends..

but can we ??

Mr.Smith... moment of truth...


"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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[Emo] In the end....

not feeling too good..

i need my dooze of EMO songs in an alternate way.. but in the end i was laffing..

read the chiense transalation !!

It starts with one thing 这起始于一件事
I don't know why我不明白 为什么
It doesn't even matter How hard you try不管你怎样努力都无济于事
Keep that in mind 我把它保存在记忆里
I designed this rhyme To explain in due time写下这首歌曲 在适当的时间 作一下解释
All I know 我所知道的是
Time is a valuable thing 时间是宝贵的
Watch it fly by As the pendulum swings 看着它随着钟摆飞逝
Watch it count down To the end of the day 看着一天天慢慢结束
The clock ticks life away 生命在钟表的滴答声中流逝
It's so unreal 如此的不真实
Didn't look out below 我没有料到以下的事
Watch the time go Right out the window 看着时光从窗外流过
Trying to hold on But didn't even know 我努力地想坚持 但却不知道
Wasted it all just To watch you go 我投入一切的结果 是看着你离我而去
I kept everything inside and 我只能把一切放在心里
Even though I tried It all fell apart 即使我努力过 也无济于事
What it meant to me will 这一切对我来说
Eventually be a Memory of a time when 最后都 成为了一段往事
I tried so hard 我那么努力
And got so far 那么坚持
But in the end 可是结果却
It doesn't even matter 无济于事
I had to fall 我不得不失去
To lose it all 我的一切
But in the end 可是结果却
It doesn't even matter 无济于事
One thing, 有件事
I don't know why 我不明白 为什么
It doesn’t even matter How hard you try,不管你怎样努力都无济于事
Keep that in mind 我把它保存在记忆里
I designed this rhyme,To remind myself how 写下这首歌曲 来提醒我自己
I tried so hard In spite of the way
You were mocking me 尽管你会嘲笑我
Acting like I was Part of your property 是你财产的一部分
Remembering all the Times you fought with me 还记得那时 你一直和我吵架
I'm surprised it got so (far) 我很惊奇 那已经是很久的事
Things aren't the way They were before现在的情况不同了
You wouldn't even Recognise me anymore 你可能都认不出我了
Not that you Knew me back then 我不再是原来的样子
But it all comes Back to me (in the end) 但是当思绪回到过去(最后的结局)
You kept everything inside 我只能把一切放在心里
And even though I tried, 即使我努力过
It all fell apart 也无济于事
What it meant to me will Eventually be a 这一切对我来说 最后都
Memory of a time when I 成为了一段往事
I tried so hard 我那么努力
And got so far 那么坚持
But in the end 可是结果却
It doesn't even matter 无济于事
I had to fall 我不得不失去
To lose it all 我的一切
But in the end 可是结果却
It doesn't even matter 无济于事
I've put my trust in you 我把信任都托付于你
Pushed as far as I can go 我尽心竭力
For all this 为了这个
There's only one thing you should know 只希望你能知道一件事
I've put my trust in you 我把信任都托付于你
Pushed as far as I can go 我尽心竭力
For all this 为了这个
There's only one thing you should know 只希望你能知道一件事
I tried so hard 我那么努力
And got so far 那么坚持
But in the end 可是结果却
It doesn't even matter 无济于事
I had to fall 我不得不失去
To lose it all 我的一切
But in the end 可是结果却
It doesn't even matter 无济于事



Mr.Smith,FUCK U !

"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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skeptical smith

i am always so skeptical about everything.. everyone around me...

i seriously dun like this feelig but pple around me give me this feeling ( stage 1.. pushing blame )

jumping into a very comfortable conclusion abt pple's action around me..

i am not always correct but i am pretty close most of the time which makes things worst.. if i am always wrong.. the very least i can do is to tell meself i am wrong..

things is really not going my way and i am not doing my part as well i suppose ? i dunno.. i THOUGHT i did try..

this is getting from bad to worst.. i dun suppose this is healthy if this goes on..

eiter one have to leave..

Mr.Smith, ur leave is a leave.. my leave isn't...

RESPECT


"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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I tried.. i really..Pls show me the way... once again...

Everyone know how positive i am nowadays.. look at the better side of the coin.. the grass on my side is always greener.. no matter what other does to me.. i am believing what i believe and doing what i do and i really see very good result in it.. i become happy.. i accept pple around me.. i help and i am happy and i show love n concern to pple around me and i feel the love back and i feel good..

Test : Stay Positive

Result : Good !

One of the way is to stop bitching.. stop being negative.. u dun even need to step into the positive zone right away as i am saying this.. all u have to do is to try not to be negative.. just try to be normal for a start and u will feel much better already !!!

but sad to say i must say this post aint about positive..this post is negative..

something i tried.. i really tried.. i do my best.. i nv give 100% in my job.. i give 110% if possible i give 120%.. i set goal.. i set standard.. i maintain them.. but then again pple around me are just not happy.. Like i will tell anyone else.. instead of being affected go think of a solution and slove the problem.. this will be better.. but then times and again and again.. i try n i try n i try but i dun see result.. i am still getting the same thing.. i get stab back.. i stand.. i fall.. i crawl.. i take a breath in.. and i stand up again.. but i am being push down from the back again...

i am tired.. i am disappointed.. i am unhappy.. i am affected once again...

I ask myself.. is it me? is it them? i tell myself is me..

Mr.Smith, positive energy fought the batter long enuff to win a battle but negative energy comes in within sec and turn the table..

"我就是我行我素　我沒有風度　我只有態度　你說我太酷"

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