Frontline workers during Covid-19

Till today, I am still hearing chatters about how Singapore shouldn't have gone into our version of "lockdown" aka circuit breaker. Chatters questioning the effect of it. Especially for individuals who believe in numbers, pointing out that the numbers of community cases before and after COVID-19 does not seem to have too much of a difference. I know this debate has no end but for the sake of a debate, what is the chance of COVID-19 cases increasing in Singapore if not for CB?

I have pretty much locked myself up during the whole period besides commuting to work on certain occasions when needed until late last week where I met some friends for dinner. First, in 4 months.

Through various feedbacks and observations, it seems like many have "gotten used to" various Covid-19 measurements. People are out and about dining casually, walking around in small groups with their face masks on as well as scanning into various buildings without having to enforce by security officers. While this is a good sign that our economy is able to open up a little more, and people are adapting. However, my biggest concern is that these practices will soon become "white practices", think white noise. Probably a better word to describe it. LOL.

Soon we will lose the understanding of the importance of such practices. And soon people will feel confident, and then over-confident about such practices and become complacent.

One of the most common texts I get from people around me is "bro, can we do this? phase 2 can visit gf already? can play basketball already?" People are overly concerned about what is permissible over what is the right thing to do to protect themselves and people around them.

Is it a sure thing that you are safe as long as it is 5 pax and below?

Is it a sure thing that as long as you think you wash your hands, it will be fine?

I think that these guidelines are there to allow us to live a little while trying to be careful at the same time. These guidelines are not foolproof.

So while there are no general rules about everything, we as an individual need to keep in mind and priorities what are the right thing to do and how we do it even without enforcement.

If I may, an extreme example:

Instead of Covid-19, we are now experiencing a Zombie apocalypse situation. Do you think we need to tell people that gathering is bad? Do you think that we need guidelines to close down night clubs? Fine, probably because some of these people running the places are already zombies but you get my point? I think till certain extent, we do not see COVID-19 as something life-threatening anymore.

"Wouldn't so suay de lah."

"Awhile only okay de lah."

"Dinner only mah."

I agree with this Forum letter that more needs to be done to protect our taxis/phv drivers. In fact, anyone else currently who are front-liners. That includes Food delivery riders, cleaners, security officers and more. They are the ones that still working out there to keep our lives less affected. So while MOH doesn't have certain enforced guidelines, I think as individual we need to respect them, and our way of showing gratitude is to ensure that they are safe and can continue to perform their tasks in a safe environment.

While I am no policymaker, I don't think they can look into every smallest detail of every policy to slap guidelines over. And neither is it possible for them to have a blanket guideline for everyone.

I am aware that if everyone can do their part, we do not even need police anymore. I am not that idealistic. I know that we are only humans.

With that in mind, still, I would like to urge everyone to do our part to keep everyone safe. #SGUnited

P.S. I know our attention probably already shifted from Covid-19 especially after GE. Let us remind each other that we are not out of the woods yet and we still need to pay attention. Share this and remind everyone that we still need to do our part.

: https://www.straitstimes.com/forum/forum-taxi-drivers-need-more-protection-from-covid-19

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Covid-19: Migrant Workers' Dormitories in Singapore

I believe that many have received videos, messages, and even images sharing concerns about our migrant workers' dormitories and the covid-19 situation.

I hear many of your concerns and I would like to share this post by Minister Jo Teo.

Link: https://www.facebook.com/123724534368517/posts/3665600290180906/?d=n

To quote her, "SHOULD STANDARDS IN FOREIGN WORKER DORMITORIES BE RAISED?

There’s no question in my mind, answer is “yes”."

I don't think I can say it better than Min Teo herself. The concerns are real and actions need to be taken. I like how she admitted it like it is instead of trying to defend it as if it was otherwise.

Of course, the standard question is, "would you stay in such dormitories yourself if you think it is good enough?"

Like her post pointed out, it is not easy to find a balance. To offer them what is best for them and also at the same time managing the cost for the employers.

Being a migrant worker is not easy. Being in the industry itself is not easy. I have visited some of these dorms and spoken to some of them before. I remember this article that I contributed to unscrambled many years ago when I was still a SEP;

“I love Singapore. I want to be here and continue working and contributing as long as I am healthy. I don’t care about other things or how other people look at me. I do my part and I’m happy where I am.”

Link: https://www.unscrambled.sg/2017/06/16/photo-story-migrant-workers-celebration-2017/

If there is something that we can take away at the end of this Covid-19 saga, I hope people learn to count your blessings. For everything we have, for everything we are given.

Before I end this post, I would like to share another post from another popular page in Singapore - SMRT Feedback. While I do not always agree with everything they share or calling themselves vigilanteh by hiding behind a Facebook page, there is some truth in their post.

"When the govt want to house foreign workers in neighbourhoods, residents complain then no choice gotta house the dorms in far-flung areas.

S'poreans are quick to criticise these workers when they board the trains at the end of the work day. Parents tell their kids that these workers should be avoided in public. More and more Singaporeans are turning xenophobic.

They beat their chest screaming for better conditions for foreign workers but in the same breath balked at the same workers living alongside them.

It's hypocrisy and racism, plain and simple."

While I am happy that many share the concern and wish to see improvement for these workers who contributed greatly to our nation-building, for now. I hope that they bring this compassion with them beyond Covid-19 situation and also beyond just their keyboards.

Link:
https://www.facebook.com/smrtsg/posts/3225055884185268

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If I die young

It has been almost a month since the death of Kobe Bryant but the reality has yet to set in.

The fact that more social media outlets have been sharing his greatness makes it even harder to believe. We are watching eve more of him than ever.

Today is a very special day. Kobe is #24 and his daughter Gigi is #2. That is pretty much it. 24th Feb. 24.2.

It got me thinking. What if I die young. Life is so unpredictable, isn't it? It can be of a sudden illness, car accident, helicopter accident, or simply just any accident.

Death is inevitable.

It is a matter of when and how, never why.

Is it morbid to think about?

Is it too early to think about?

My own brother died at the age of 35.

Kobe died at the age of 41.

Kurt Cobain at the age of 27.

Wong Ka Kui (Beyond) at the age of 31

Chang Yu-sheng at 31 as well.

So I guess it is never too early to talk about it?

Legacy 

Not too sure what is life to others, but to me, it has always been about legacy. I remember saying this to a friend at a very young age.

"I want to be on the history textbook one day."

"why?"

"We will all die someday. Regardless of how old or young. Not everyone will get a chance to meet me and not everyone will know who I really am. At least if you are on a textbook, people would kind of know who you are right?"

I guess you can call me egoistic but at the same time, I just feel like life is kinda meaningless if you leave nothing behind isn't it?

So what if you worked hard? So what if you have been a kind person all your life if you cease to exist the moment you bite the dust? Wouldn't life be a lot more meaningful if you are able to leave something behind? Like your life is real. It is not just a dream.

The lives you touched, the people you met, the things you have achieved. I know some of you might not agree with me and find that it is sad that I put my focus in life based on how others look at me or what I've done. At least I am honest about it.

Anyways I think history textbook is kind of overrated these days. As long as Google does not close down one day, I think I am cool.

If I die young;

Can someone continue to pay for this domain?

I do not want you guys to cry for me. I want everyone to celebrate my life. I was here.

It is okay not to visit me at my grave or wherever. I think it has very little meaning to it.

I am not exactly very religious so I think throwing a party and invite everyone and just to do small groups of sharing of who I am will be fine. Do serve some alcohol at least.

I hope you guys can tell my kids about what kind of person I am. Sugarcoat nothing. Tell them as it is. I want them to really know me.

It is okay to throw away all my things because I know I really have a lot of them. At least donate it to the people who will need it and not waste those things I've bought.

I want to say sorry to everyone I've hurt. I probably didn't mean it and I am sorry and wish that you can forgive me. If I did hurt you on purpose, you probably deserved it so I forgive you too. LOL.

Do not tell my family that I am in a better place. You cannot be sure.

Tell my family I am sorry I can no longer be there for them.

I am sorry I cannot be there for all the good times and bad.

I am sorry I cannot be that voice to scold you when you make a mistake.

I am sorry I cannot be the person you wake up to in the morning.

I am sorry I cannot be the person who keeps you up with my snores.

I am sorry I cannot be there to remind you to eat your meat.

I am sorry I cannot be the person that annoys you anymore.

I am sorry I am unable to share my interest and my life personally.

I am sorry I cannot be the person to teach you everything.

I am sorry that your life is harder without me.

I am sorry that I am gone.

P.S. No, I am not suicidal. I just have this thought and wanted to pen it down.
Please do not call the suicide hotline on me. Thanks.

In case this blog post sucks, here's a MV for you.

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Wuhan coronavirus Dorscon level changed to Orange in Singapore

Wuhan coronavirus Dorscon level changed to Orange in Singapore and everybody loses their minds. 

The last weekend was an eye-opening one. Not just because everyone went crazy and started sweeping things off the shelf but because the incident has shown me the true colours of people in Singapore. 

The good thing is it that it isn't just the bad and ugly but also the good. It all started on Friday evening when the Wuhan coronoavirus Dorscon level changed to Orange. 

"Oh changed to orange? Okay lah. life goes on. Just continue to eat lor." - me 

"Still on hur? Ok. See you guys later." - my friend. 

And then the rest was history. Social media started blowing up with images of people running around buying things. 

"It will be over by tomorrow morning lah. Singaporeans very short attention span." I said. But I was wrong. Things carried on and I was a little annoyed and I posted this on my personal Facebook. 

I was having dinner with my friends casually yesterday and chilling. Well, it was TGIF after all.

To my horror when I checked my phone at the end of the dinner, my phone was flooded with images of people snatching items from the various supermarkets.

"Guys, chill.

1. We are fighting a virus and when the dorscon shifted from yellow to orange yesterday, it is asking you guys to beware of the virus. Wash your hands, avoid crowds, and maybe even take your temperature. NOT TO STOCK UP FOOD.

2. This is not zombie apocalypse nor fighting a war. You do not need to stock up food. There is no lack of food, and that is not your main enemy now. Stupidity is as it seems.

3. Various supermarkets are already restocking. This mass panic buy is causing a lot of stress for these workers. Not only are they working double hard, I've heard people abusing and scolding staff. Guys, we are better than this. They do not owe us a living. They can jolly well walk away and not work but they did not abandon the community. So instead, why is the community abandoning them? They are only workers and doing their part.

4. Singapore, we can do this together and only if we do it together. By doing all these mass buying and keeping it in your own storeroom, it is an act of selfishness. Please, Singapore is more educated and better than this.

5. What you guys are doing now is simply breaking the system for ourselves even before anything happens. And when things go sideways, many will probably blame the government once again. But remember this, they have a system in place. You were the one who broke it.

6. I saw someone saying this yesterday, "Why tell Singaporeans about the dorscon? This kind of information only scares people. Tell them for what? They also do not know any better." See this is how difficult we are as an individual isn't it? Don't tell you information, you complain that the government is not transparent and Singapore is a nanny state. Tell you all things, you guys say the government is not strategic and scare the citizens. What can they gain from scaring citizens? So how? To tell or not to tell?

End of the day, think of the bigger picture, life should go on as per normal. Don't overdo it. This is not the time to do all these.

If you are reading this message, you are a friend and I hope you are not one of those crazy mass buyers.

If you are reading this message, you are a friend and I hope you can tell others and educate them not to be silly.

If you are reading this message, you are a friend and I hope you share this message."

The post above has gotten over 5,000 shares at this point when I am crafting this reflection post. 

While there were a handful of people who defended their honour and action, most of the people who shared the post shared the same sentiment. I went through each and every one of the comments on the post as well as those on the shares. I was surprised I felt a little touched reading all these comments. They truly touch my heart to know that there are like-minded people out there who would put community first. Of course, I am not saying that I am the only person out there. I am just, well, touched.  

Sorry, I am unable to share all the screenshots but here are some of those that I kinda really like! 

Goes without saying, when there is ying, there will be yang. I have also gotten some people going at me scolding me or nitpicking on the image or my messages. Well, I have been writing this blog and have been a very public person online for many years now and this ain't exactly the 1st time I get a little heat online. So it's really nothing. You guys really got nothing on me you know? 

At the same time, there were a few other posts that I would like to share too. 

The lawyer/ rice importer has spoken 

"Broadly speaking, at any one time, there is at least a two-month supply of most types of rice in Singapore. Several top rice exporting countries in the world, such as Thailand and Vietnam, are not too far away from Singapore geographically, and fresh rice stock from these exporting countries will typically reach our shores within 3 to 5 days of the cargo ship sailing."

This man explains why we can calm our titties because we have plenty of rice stocked up. Chill okay? Source.

The dude that tells you that national-level decision is above our pay grade. TRUST THE SYSTEM. 

"Ask yourself honestly: who else can you trust, in times like this, to lead us out of this crisis? Yes, like any other governments out there, our government is not perfect. But they are our best shot in leading this fight and winning this war. If the virus is creating FEAR, the only way to overcome it is to have FAITH in the systems and protocols put in place by the government. Not creating more fear and discord among people with baseless and senseless comments." 

And to summarize his message, "Remember, the enemy is the virus, not the government." Claps! #Respect. Source. 

Singapore Psychological Society explains why do people react the way they do. 

The amygdala of the brain (emotional system) gets activated together with regions of the cortex (cognitive system) that analyze and interpret behavior. In times of stress and uncertainty, this thinking part of our brain gets hijacked by the emotional system, resulting in 𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗰 and 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿.

A pretty good post telling why the whys and also what should we do at times like these. Source.

“Shy random person” tells a father-mother-son-daughter story that makes me tear a little

“We really need to behave like what we say. Cos really, somebody’s father, mother, son, daughter is out there somewhere doing what we are not.” “We are beyond 4 masks. Beyond sanitisers.”

Whoever this shy guy is. His instastories did strike a chord with me. I was tearing a little at the end of the post. Source.

Minister Ng Chee Meng telling Singaporeans we are not empty-UC 

"Some people have jokingly renamed our supermarket chain to Empty-UC FairPrice, rest assured we are still NTUC FairPrice and our warehouses are far from empty!" #SGCares #LMCares

Don't play play okay? Mr Ng Chee Meng got picture got talk. LOL. It's really quite amazing how NTUC managed to turn around for this man-made crisis we went through. The touching thing is that not only did the staff not abandon the community and brave through tough times. Many of the office staff including those from the unions and my colleagues actually gave up their weekend and went to the frontline and gave their support. I am still feeling the chills while typing this. 

S’porean man explains strain on supermarket staff caused by mass buying & urges people to stop

So mothership featured this guy talking about the strain on supermarket staff.. Wait.. That's me. :p 

---- 

Things are better now

Good news is by the end of Saturday, things were pretty much back to normal and I posted this yesterday on my Facebook. 

It seems like everything is back to normal despite it being a Sunday morning where I assume not every company does delivery. Not fully stocked up yet but you can tell that it isn't as bad as it was just a night ago.

These pictures were taken mins ago at the giant supermarket near my house. The cashier was telling me that Friday night was a nightmare. The queue extended out of the unit for almost a good 3 to 4 hrs and everyone was grouchy and impatient.

While we saw the ugly side of Singapore, we also saw a lot of rational Singaporeans too. I also saw the brotherhood in my own organisation where office staff volunteered their weekend to help out on the ground. (i also volunteered okay, but a bit late, things were already back on track when I got the notice.) I saw how some of my friends were texting each other in group chat to keep calm, don't mass buy and if need anything they can pass some around first as well. And of course, all the kind people who decided to share my article and educate their friends.

The bigger lesson out of this is that we need to keep calm. Other countries were laughing at us. It's not just a matter of face but we showed vulnerability. When we are weak, we put ourselves in a bad position for negotiation. Because we have high demand, it will become a good chance for importers to mark up prices when doing business with us. Why put ourselves in such position where we have to overpay for anything that we are not even desperate for?

Like when playing poker, always look confident even if you only have a high card. Haha.

It's Sunday, let us enjoy what is left of our weekend with our family. Remember to wash your hands. Stay Safe Singapore. #maytheforcebewithyou

So guys, stay safe, stay clean, stay strong. We just need to do this together. 

P.S. CAN'T TOUCH THIS (FACE)! 

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Have economic growth and job creation benefited Singaporeans more than foreigners?

Some saw the parliament video of Minister Chan Chun Sing's reply to Mr. Pritam Singh and Mr. Liang Eng Hwa and asked me some questions.

I am no politician but here I am trying to explain some of the main ideas that I understood from Minister Chan's speech. I try to keep it short for easy reading.

Have economic growth and job creation benefited Singaporeans more than foreigners?

Between 2015 and 2018, local employment increased by nearly 60,000 for the whole economy.

These jobs include jobs from companies like Google, Facebook, and Grab. They are big players and many jobs were created. No doubt they are for both locals and foreigners. If not for these investments, many of us might not have the luxury of working in your own country where your friends and families are.

The above would not have happened if not for foreign investments. And no, it doesn't work in a way where you take their money and not their people. Their people are needed here to ensure the operations. Which is not all bad, because we also get to learn from big companies about their businesses.

I would even question the intention of the question. To make things worse, asking for the breakdown of PR vs Non-PR. Does it matter who benefitted more when at the end of the day, Singapore is a better place to have a career than many other places? Better than many years ago?

My point is very simple. You want to win a championship but you and your team are not good enough. So you signed LeBron James, (Michael Jordan, David Beckham, or Fandi Ahmad. Take your own pick.) and you guys are a winning team. But, you still not happy because you are no longer the star player. You are also unhappy that you are paid lower than LeBron. If not for LeBron, you would not have won your championship, you would not be paid as much as you are being paid now. You might even be in a worse off situation. So how is that a bad thing to have someone better that can put you in a better situation and also make you a better person than before?

I personally feel that Singaporeans can be a bit egoistic. We are a small country with very limited resources. We need the support from other countries. We need to learn when we have to take a step back look at the big picture. This is probably a problem of our own success. We think that we are very good and very successful after achieving all the "firsts" in the world. Being successful is not difficult, it is about staying successful.

There is no perfect policy. Like I always say, you can't have your cake and eat it too. In every policy, there will be something that you have to give. However, there can be balanced with other measures too. Which is why MOM has the Fair Consideration Framework (FCF) and is continually updating the system to ensure that Singaporeans are taken care of.

So in conclusion? Yes. To quote Minister Chan, "a resounding yes."

Not only have we gotten the local-foreign workforce balance just in terms of quantity, but quality too.

P.S. I'm no woke salaryman, but I just gotten a new tablet, just let me have it.

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Old School Mama Shop Way of Life.

It has been a while since I have seen one of these old school mama shop. Being the typical "city boy", I do my shopping mostly at malls or my wife would just buy things off online stores.

I stumble upon this mama shop in Jurong when I was visiting someone.

I have spent a good 20 over years in newer towns such as Tampines and Punggol. The sight of such an establishment is really almost never.

"Uncle, how long have you been doing this?"

"36 years already." 

"Wah! So long?" I was kinda shocked because he does not look that old. He looks like he is at most in his early forties.

"Ya. Life not easy okay. With people like Sheng Siong around the corner. And youngsters like you buying everyone online."

He hit me with the truth and a wave of guilt.

I looked around their shop and I could tell that they are a rather progressive couple in their own ways. Not only do they sell the typical sundries but they also provide pick-up and drop-off of dry cleaning. They also sold things such as portable chargers, phone cables, and even earpieces. Probably catering to the people staying around the neighbourhood. He even tried to upsell me some candies when I was just buying a drink.

I looked at the couple and I tried to imagine living their life and wonder what they are going through.

How old are their kids?

Are they even a couple?

Do they still love each other?

With the need to open this shop, how often do they travel out of this area?

Do they even travel?

What hobbies do they have?

What do they do after work?

They seem like they built their lives around this shop.

Most importantly, are they happy?

I once had a dream when I was young. I wanted to open a mama shop. My uncle laughed at me when I told him that. He said that I have no ambition. He called me useless. I was only in primary school then.

I told him this or something along the line, (It has been a while.)

"I want a shop. I can provide my family with food. I can eat whatever I want. I can also earn money by selling things to people who needs them. I also get to interact and make friends with the neighbours. I do not see why is that useless." 

I remember this very clearly. I have no idea why but this conversation replays itself more often than I can explain. I remember exactly why I wanted to do it and the kind of happiness that filled me when I was explaining myself almost 30 years ago.

More questions came to me as I stood there looking at the little shop.

Are they still making money?

Are they in debt?

Can they be doing anything else?

What is their story?

Can they be earning even more money if they are just working as a cashier in a bigger establishment?

Is there anything anyone can do to grow their business?

Marketing? No one is going to travel here just to shop.

Funding? So what if they got more money? Hire someone to do it? Expand their business?

Upskilling? They sound like they are in their 50s, upskilling after 36 years of working at their own mama shop ain't impossible but it ain't changing this business.

Is there anything we can do to keep the business?

They did not tell me the shop is closing or in any trouble. It is just my own baseless assumption. Everything has to come to an end, eventually. 

What can the government do to help such businesses?

What can the government do to keep these businesses alive?

Then, I stop again and ask myself.

Do we really still need these businesses alive?

If no one is buying anything from them, what is the point of such businesses? Just for the sake of nostalgia?

What is going to happen to them if they ain't making a living out of this shop?

I guess they can always be placed in some other jobs.

I do not think anyone is going to take over such businesses anyway.

I actually have no conclusion at all for these thoughts.

It was just a very strange wave of emotion while I stood there looking at them doing their things.

Their way of life.

And I've no message for this post. I just wanted to pen it down. It still helps to clear my head sometimes. 

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I choose working late over spending time with my kid, because I choose to.

42: The answer to life, the universe and everything. If you are nerdy enough you will get the reference.

However, real life is not as easy as that. There is no “one size fits all” solution. We all have our own backstories, limitations, and priorities. We can’t change what has happened but we can play our cards right forward.

Is it impossible to be a good worker and a good parent at the same time?

Mothership recently published an article by Steven Chia, a Presenter and Senior Editor at CNA, titled - “I won’t choose working late over spending time with my kids, because why would I?”

I would not say the article went viral but it got circulated a little within my social circles. Most of the people I have spoken to supported the narrative with both hands up. The conversations did not stop there. It was unboxed a little more and many friends ended up concluding that life is so tough in Singapore and it is difficult to be a working parent. Regardless of gender.

“At home I have to be a mum as if I am not working, at work I have to work as if I am not a mum. It is almost impossible.”

“I feel very bad when I do not spend enough* time with my kid.”

*I question, what is enough?

“I choose to be self-employed because I do not want to go to the office. I want the flexibility to spend time with my kid.”

“I hate it that I have to handle my kid at night and my boss feels that I am not committed to work. I mean I am already doing my best during office hours. After office hours event should not be considered as an obligation or considered into my appraisal right?”

Steven too gave an example on this.

"So, for instance, it’s your daughter’s birthday and your boss asks that you join him at a client event that same night.
Will you be able to say, “Sorry boss, I can’t because I promised my daughter I would take her out tonight as it’s her birthday” or will you bail on your daughter and attend the work event? What do we put as a priority?
Some may say, “But it’s my boss!” Honestly speaking, if I were the boss, an employee who puts family first would have actually earned some brownie points from me.
Because with that, it’s clear where their priorities lie and what is important to them."

It is not just about brownie points. There are intangible gains too. And yes, I agree with him. It is about priority.

So what’s yours?

Who are you to your children?

Coincidentally I was also talking about my attitude towards work a few days ago on Instagram story. The series of stories was inspired by a friend who asked why I am always working late. Why do I put myself up to so much work and evening work events when I am not required or paid overtime to do so. In his words, “No OT what.. Why work? For what?”

First of all, I think we gain something at almost every good* (can be very subjective) networking session or when working on different projects. The output might be what the bosses want but the outcome and any extra learning or goodwill or relationship goes to you. The value of meeting new people and learning new things will be yours to keep and no one can take that away from you even if you leave the organization. These outcomes might make a difference in your life. In fact, this is my secret to life. I would not say I am successful now but I would say that I probably will not be where I am today if not for all the extra hours I have put in my life that no one made me do. It may not pay off immediately but I believe that one day it will. And I have been benefiting from my “investments” from years ago quite a bit these days.

What about spending time with my son? It is about what you want in life.

“You can’t have the cake and eat it too.”

We can’t have the best of both worlds. I choose to work hard on weekdays and spend quality time with my son on weekends even if it means that I have to work late and not see him at all for 5 days in a row .

I’ve shared this more times than I can remember at various talks as well as with friends who have come to me for advice.

I want to be that father whom my son is proud of. That role model. That guy whom he is proud of.

“My dad is the so and so of the company. He has the resources to help our project.” - My son at age 16.

“My dad did this before. Let’s ask him for advice.” - My son at age 24

“Your dad is so cool. I heard he is the so and so right?” - My son’s future friend, Samantha.

“Omg, is that your dad on TV last night? (not crime watch)” - My son’s future friend, Siti

I do not want my son to love me because I can cook for him or bring him to school. I am not looking down on or putting down people who do that. That is just not me. And I am lucky that I have a wife and a family that supports my way of life.

My helper can cook for him, my helper can bring him to school too. Can my son be proud of my helper the same way I want him to be proud of me? Probably no. It might not be a very popular opinion, just like me pulling off my favourite red boots.

I do not want to be the father who tells my son that I used to do this and that for fun but no longer doing them. I do not want to be the father whom my son looks at my old photos and asks me how come I used to be cool but not anymore. I do not want my son to be the reason or excuse for me to stop being myself. I want my son to be the reason I am the best version of myself. Like in every relationship, we make each other better. Not slow us down.

It might not be what my son wants at the end of the day, but what if it is? He does not know it now either. It is the chance I will take.

Quality time vs Quantity time

Steven pointed out that quantity time is important.

"For any kid out there, I believe it is all about the quantity of time.
Any time with their parents is quality time. A child cannot differentiate between quality time and non-quality time.
To them, they just know whether you are there or not there! What would your kids say if you asked them that today? Are you a “there” or “not there” parent?"

I beg to differ. It is all about the balance.

There is no way I can be a happy dad or good dad if I am not happy with my own life. There is no way I can love others if I am unable to even love myself. How can a dad be happy at home just to spend quantity time for the sake of being there when his mind is thinking about work or how poorly he has been performing at work?

It is why I choose to be the best worker I can be from Monday to Friday and when I am with my son, I try my best to keep communication devices away and to focus on him. I am still not very good with this but I’ve set a goal and I am working on it. It is not about just being there physically. There will be days that I am not there. But when I am, I REALLY am.

It is about the process of sharing and nurturing. I am not saying that I am an expert in parenting but this is what I am doing for my son. I really do not see a point of me just being there but be on the mobile phone most of the time. I want to be present.

We all want to be the best worker at work and the best parent at home. It might be easier for some who have already achieved what they want in their careers. It might be a lot tougher on those who are struggling just to bring home the bacon. Whatever our situations are, more importantly is that our heart is in the right place. Take responsibility towards both family and workplace. Nobody says it is going to be easy, but we all try.

If politicians can do their part as workers, parents, and parents to their citizens, I am sure we can. If celebrities can do all the things they are doing and still be an amazing parent, I am sure we can. I do not think I am less than them just because my job is less “important”. I believe we all can as long as we are clear of what we want to achieve and work towards it.

We must find a way to put family first

The only reason why I work so hard IS because I put family first. I want my family to be proud of me. I know I am not there 5 days a week. But hey, you still have 2 days right? LOL.

It is not an excuse. I clearly know if it ain’t because I care about my family, my wife, and my son. I am dead sure I will be somewhere out there in other countries living from pay cheque to pay cheque if it was not because of them. I might not look or sound like one but I probably am a hippie inside.

As employers or even co-workers, we need to understand that everyone has different priorities in life. I cannot expect all my staff or co-workers to work like me simply because of my own choice. But we should not penalize anyone for choosing to spend more time physically with their family.

As a leader, we need to lead with wisdom, take risks and make tough decisions, but above all – exercise compassion when compassion is needed.

The answer to life…

No one has the answer to YOUR life. You fight for what you want. Make the decisions that no one else can make for you. Take your stand regardless of the consequences. Take charge of your own life.

I’ve made mine for now. I am not telling you that my way is the right way for you. I might be wrong, I might regret it, I might grow old and bite my words. Isn’t that the beauty of life? We get to write our own stories and it ain’t over ‘til it’s over.

This guy just ain’t giving up. Did you watch his recent Rambo last blood? CRAZY. HE IS 73!

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What is the internet for?

Did it make you dumber?

Ironically, thanks to the probably greatest creation of modern mankind – Internet, I was able to catch up some of the good old shows on Netflix. As mentioned on one of my previous posts, I was addicted to the show Californication. Main character Hank Moody played by our good old David Duchovny from X files.

Not a secret agent this time round, he plays a washed up novel writer who got lost in the curse of Los Angeles. Caught in between women (literally and not), alcohol, drugs, and parties, Hank Moody and Californication might sound like a show about sex and every other vice but it's actually more than that. The character development of Hank is really good. He is so real and relatable, there's more than 1 dimension of him and that's basically how every human is. Not like your typical superhero nor villain from Marvel.

Anyway, before I digress any further, I would like to share one of his favourite quotes that got me thinking a little recently. He was on a radio show getting interviewed about his views of his blog (I know) and his view on the internet.

“People seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People... they don't write anymore, they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it's just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King's English.” 

I guess the Internet hit him a little harder considering that he is a wordsmith. The way we are, in his words, pseduo-communicating, ain't exactly his thing. As much as the Internet has given us knowledge and so much convenience but it just make us crave for more. We want things faster, we want things easier, and we want it all. We no longer enjoy those trips down to the libraries and flipping through the old archive newspapers to look for information but instead we just key in a few text into google and hope to look for the answers. Google is making searches easier by the day with SEO and SEM and we are so lazy that we do not even browse through the 2nd page of search results.

We rely so much on technology and internet these days we no longer appreciate the little things of life. We no longer read or information, we do not memorize things because everything can be pulled out off the internet with our 4 fingers wank machine. We relay on it so much that we can't even memorize our own home phone number. Of course, spell check is saving my life on a daily basis.

Invention and creation is neutral on its own. Like I always believe that guns are just guns but it's the people that makes it dangerous. It can be used to protect people and at the same time hurt someone. The internet is just as much the double edge sword if not handled carefully.

One of those major concern looming around the internet has been the whole fake news thingy. That aside, I haven't been the biggest fan of the internet recently. We started Unscrambled.sg with the goals of explaining some of the things that matters to people in plain English because we know how lazy people are when it comes to reading. That includes myself. I'm never big into reading until recent years. Sadly, instead of the positive messages that are within each piece of articles or news put out on the internet, people seem to always be able to pick out things that ain't supposed to be there.

I was relatively disturbed by a recent incident. A girl was killed in an accident, she fell off the building while she was trying to get back into her locked room. Somebody died, somebody is grieving for sure but the internet doesn't have enough empathy and EQ to give the family and friends just that. The comments were mean, it's silly, people were just trashing her without giving much thoughts. People think that just because they are hiding behind a screen they have no responsibility and can say whatever they want. My point is, would anyone of them dare to walk up to the family or the victim herself and say what they had said on the internet? If they do not, why are they doing it online? Simply because they think they could get away with it? This is just one of the many incidents that I've encountered recently. Will we be so used to what we do online without consequences that we just start doing things that we probably wouldn't have even thought of if not for the internet?

Like I said, the invention itself is neutral but how it changes us is yet another story.

Sometimes I just wish for things to go back to simpler days. That sentence alone is making me sound like 10,000 years old.

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Why is life so fragile?

Another one bites the dust...

I was telling one of my younger crew that I'm attending another wake the other day and he asked me,

"I do not understand why must we hold wakes or visit wakes... The person is already dead. Why spend all the time and money?"

He didn't say this to diss anyone but he legitimately doesn't get the significance of the event. I don't blame him, he is still young after all.

I told him this,

"It's to celebrate life. To honour this kin for the very last time. For his friends to pay their last respects. For the family to grieve, and also to get the both moral and financial support they can from their family and friends. Such wakes are not cheap, I attend wakes more willingly than weddings to be honest. Sometimes some of these people just pass on so suddenly leaving nothing behind for their family and they really need the support and help. On the other hand, weddings, well, you have a choice to do a massive, grand, and expensive one or you can just do a simple small ceremony. The choice is up to the couple and it is usually planned. If you do not have that kind of money, do a small one, don't expect people to help you pay for your weddings or cover your cost. It's not business, if you want your friends to be happy for you, I can always write something on your Facebook wall."

Well, I dislike weddings and I diss them a lot. That being said, I really am happy for close friends who are getting married but if this person ain't exactly close and just want me to fill the seat around the table to eat a overpriced dinner that I didn't choose with 8 other strangers, sorry, I'm not into that.

It has been a rough month for me. My friend's dad pass away late March, followed by a friend's brother just a week ago, he was only 38. I just attended another wake of another friend's brother who was only 39. Why is life so fragile? They were only in their 30s and nobody saw it coming. It just hit them like that. Just a few days ago, I received another news of one of my ex-colleague, who passed away at the age of 49. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and passed away rather quickly. He has no symptoms or whatever so before that.

It's hard to hear such stories even if that person is not close to us or even a stranger, so can you imagine what the family is going through?

Maybe it's just me or maybe it's because of what I went through with my brother. The kind of support you get from your family and friends really counts at times like these. My brother made me very proud. His wake was filled with his friends and ours. Truth is, it does make things easier to know that he has touched lives and made a difference to people around him during his time with us. I would say it's pretty much your life report card. Everyone came and sent their condolences, everyone had something good to say about him. It does help, no one wants to grieve alone. Any moment alone kills me. I'm glad I had friends who came to send their condolences and some even stayed to help. Everything was a blur, I could hardly remember everyone who came but I am very thankful for every bit of those comfort sent my way.

Life is so fragile, sometimes things just happened like that. It's really important for us to tell our loved ones how much we love them and appreciate them. I can't imagine me leaving my family, my wife, and especially my son. He's only two. I still want to see him grow up, do things together, his first date, everything that he can achieve. But do we really have a choice? We can do all we want, exercise, sleep early, go for regular body check ups, not drink, and not smoke. Strangely that's everything my brother did but he left us at a young age of 35 leaving behind a wife and 3 kids. It has already been 6 years since.

Many people tell me time will heal but the truth is I never want it to heal. I want to remember the pain of losing him. I want to remember everything of him. I want him to be part of me forever. And the extended grief and pain reminds me of everything and kept everything real. He did happen. He was with us. He ain't just ain't a fragment of my imagination. Some days I fear that I forget how he looks like, how he talks, how he sounds, how he moves, and how he showered us with love and life lessons. I never want to forget. I never want it to heal.

It's never a choice for us on when we leave this place. Do we really get to go to a better place? Or a worse one? Or do we just cease to exist? All the things we did and fought for in life. Does it just disappear into thin air along with the end of our lives? No. It is still there, still true but only to the living. Death is not the hardest part. The hardest part is always for the living having to deal with the aftermath and pain. So when do we cease to exist? When nobody remembers us, when those who remembers us leave this place as well. I never want to forget, because I choose to believe that he will always be with us as long as we can remember him. Leaving behind a legacy.

Legacy, what type of legacy do you want to leave behind?

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Where have I been?

I slipped.

I was recently overwhelmed by changes in my life. Work has been busy was a very convenient excuse I had for myself. I stopped visiting the gym, I didn't watch my diet, I didn't follow any of my plans of routine, I slept late, and I was procrastinating. My health took a hit. For a good 3 weeks I was having headache, bodyaches, and fever on and off. Again, convenient excuse for myself, I was feeling stressed. I slipped into a vicious cycle of pain, discomfort, procrastination, and doing things that ain't important just to tell myself that I deserve all these time to relax. The only thing that I was keeping up with was work, because money don't fall from the sky.

I was doing things that I shouldn't be spending that much time on but I did it anyway to make myself feel a little better. I took every little win I can. I should be writing more on these blog because this was what I used to enjoy doing. I wouldn't call myself a writer because I was never good at it as a kid. I still remember why I start this blog years ago. Because I wanted to improve my writing and also to pen down some of my thoughts and crazy ideas. I planned it so that at that point, my unborn unconceived children can read it in the future to me when I'm all grey and lost my memories. Yes, just like in The Notebook.

But I got distracted. I never really admitted that I am a blogger back in the days until I actually won a blog award some years ago. The term blogger always gave me a bad taste in the mouth especially those I've seen, heard, met in Singapore especially. More often than not these guys can't write, do not have any special skill or insights to share and neither do they have really interesting stories nor good images. I was jaded by the industry. What started most people like myself to write was nothing more than an online diary where we just go on about ranting about our lives. Things eventually took a turn no thanks to marketeers. Ironically, I am one of them. Inevitably, and as much as I hated it, that was where the industry was shifting to. Using bloggers to promote products. I can't deny the fact that this platform has made and broke many individual but this is what evolution is all about. Things change and we have to keep up with times. Sadly, many has hopped onto the bandwagon for fame, money, or even as pathetic as for the sake of scoring some freebies. And by now, the term blogger is already passe, the more current term is probably influencer. To be honest, I feel even more uncomfortable with this term. It's like a makebelieve term to make yourself feel good and tbh, that's not me man, all I ever wanted was to write and share. My intention was never to be someone famous.

Why am I telling you this? Because what started as a personal diary for myself was affected as well. I started to write things that I think people are interested to read, I started writing articles with keywords that make my content more searchable. I was affected by the fact that some better written blogs doesn't get as much attention as compared to some asswipes out there who simply write for the sake of commercial purposes. I'm not apologetic about my French here. I contemplate on what type of content I should write. I want to share more about my personal life but yet on the other hand I thought it's not as good a story. I was caught in a funk. I stopped myself from writing every time I feel like I should write something,

I read it somewhere before,

"Do what you love, and you’ll never work another day in your life." 

but when I was a teenager, a comic book store owner too told me something when I told him that it's so cool that he is following his dream of selling comics,

"Never make your hobby a job, because very soon you will be left with no hobbies." 

Like I said, I was never a good writer growing up, and my grammar ain't exactly the best. I love art but I never thought I would go into photography. I probably made a mistake making this "talent" and "hobby" of mine into a job. I'm not regretting for sure, I still love my job but I can't say the same for my hobby. I'm so obsessed with the crafts that I can no longer just snap anything random and upload or just write anything silly to publish. I would tell myself that it's not good enough a piece or something along the lines that 'would these work actually hurt my professional image?"

So what inspired me to write this post?

Californication.

I was browsing through Netflix and I saw this show. I watched a few episodes and I was inspired. Not by the fact that there are lots of naked attractive ladies in the show but by the fact that it talks about a washed out writer who was trying to fix his life. I mean comparing what I'm going through to what he went through, I'm not even close.

What put me into writing again was the fact that he too ended up writing a blog and his narrative was rather personal and yet at the same time interesting to read. He reminded me that a blog is a continuous narrative of someone's life and thoughts. Not just about what good food is available out there or reporting a trending topic. Of course, that was in 2007 because that was when the show was made. Things change and sadly blogs ain't just that no more.

For those who are not aware, I manage unscrambled.sg. I spend most of my writing mojo reporting and writing stories on that site. Disclaimer – I love writing for unscrambled. I love that the platform allows me to write stories that ain't as personal for my own site, but it's just that I just do not have the focus to write anything on my blog thereafter. I'm so used to writing stories of others that I lost the ability to write my own, not until I stumble upon Californication.

I guess that's serendipity for me.

It's about time for me to be back here and start writing my own stories again.

Good news is that I feel so much better and feel like I'm back in a better place after my short 3-day trip in Genting. I must say I am very impressed with the newly renovated place. To be honest, I've no idea how "newly" renovated it is since the last I visited was actually almost a good 5 years ago.

In case you didn't really like this post, here's Red Hot Chili Peppers' Californication.

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Taking course got use meh?

No one taught me how to be a dad but I guess I’m alright.

I’ve never been the best kind of student growing up. Trust me, if you ask any of my teachers throughout my school life they would probably say that I’m a nice kid but they will never say anything about me being diligent or obedient. Far from it in fact.

A lot of my friends didn’t understand why I took my degree some years ago when I was already running my very first business. Especially when I’m not even one that excels in school.

I put myself in a position where I need to struggle to focus in the classroom, start my company, and also make sure I earn enough to feed everyone in the office and pay off a study loan at the same time. LOL. (I do think I’m crazy on hindsight but I will not change anything if I’m given a second chance.)

I didn’t take a degree because I wanted a paper to slot into my resume which is currently hidden somewhere at home, or in the office, or even at my mother’s place. (I’ve no idea where is it really.) I took the degree because I wanted the knowledge. Although I’ve picked up a lot of relevant skills and experience while working, I thought I would prefer to know how the school teaches it.

Attending a lesson at NTUC LearningHub.

Recently, I actually attended an Adobe Photoshop course at NTUC LearningHub. Some of my friends were so shocked when they saw my Instagram stories about me attending the course.

“Eh, I thought you knew how to use photoshop? All your artwork which you did over the years?”

“You damn free ah? With your new company and young son you still go take course?”

“Why waste money learning photoshop bro? This kind of courses damn expensive right?”

Some were kinder than others,

“Sounds interesting leh this course! How come you bo jio?”

“Learning to photoshop ah? Can help me photoshop my pictures or not?”

Most of my friends knew that I started as a computer engineering student, and I managed to get a degree in marketing, which I mentioned earlier. I picked up my photography, editing and even writing (albeit with grammatical errors) skills, without going through any formal lessons at all. I learned by asking people around me, watching YouTube, reading lots of articles, and lots of trials and errors.

But this time round I told myself, why not sign up for a lesson to learn it properly instead of just doing a search on YouTube all the time without understanding why? Sometimes you need a teacher to explain the theory and help you connect the dots...

Moreover after using  SkillsFuture Credit, UTAP funding, SDF funding and other types of funding, the final price is pretty affordable.

It has been a while since I went back to school as a student and I was really kinda worried and excited at the same time. I guess I’m not the only one given the amount of questions I’ve been getting. So here’s another QnA for all you curious adults out there who are giving upskilling a thought.

Where is this NTUC LearningHub?

Located right besides Bras Basah MRT Station is the NTUC Trade Union House which has great facilities and a conducive environment to have lessons.

What’s your motivation to attend lessons at NTUC LearningHub?

Food, they actually serve us food. In fact they served us food twice daily, once in the morning and one in the afternoon. Life is good! Kidding, I like to learn and like I mentioned the fees are really affordable after all the help we get from various funding.

So how much did you pay?

It’s a misconception that I’m rich because I own a business (I’m not saying this because I’m worried that you will call me one day to borrow money). Even if I’ve money it’s not like I’ve to spend it like I’m crazy. Here is the price list that’s listed on their site, which is already affordable. But if you can make use of your SkillsFuture Credit and UTAP funding, your course might just be FREE! YES! FREEEEEEE!!!!!

Who are the lecturers? Are they experienced?

The lesson itself was very informative. I can’t sing enough praises about my lecturer. Mr. Wong was so patient throughout the 3-day course. Besides obtaining the Adobe Certified Expert in Illustrator CS6, ACTA (Facilitated Learning), he is actually a designer with more than 10 years of experience in graphic design and teaching of software applications including Adobe Photoshop, In-Design, Illustrator, Dreamweaver and Flash.You know what that means? That means he has lots of workplace tips to share, which you can then apply to your own work! He’s not just a paper general, which I felt is very important if you’re teaching adults who are looking for practical, useful lessons.

Can I join if I have ZERO knowledge? I’m worried that I will slow down everyone.

We have people from all walks of life attending the course. There was a school teacher, a buyer from one of our local supermarkets, a person who just signed up for the class because she loves photography and wishes to use Photoshop to enhance her pictures. These people didn’t have much knowledge about photoshop either but everyone did well.

I talked to some of them and they were sharing with me that they signed up purely out of interest. One mentioned that he feels it’s good to know how to do his own simple artwork as compared to passing them on to agencies or freelancers all the time.

Conclusion

One can never be too prepared, isn’t it? In the VUCA economy today, no one can really say that their jobs will always be there. We should always be prepared to pick up skills and equip ourselves for future jobs and not land ourselves in a situation where we get caught off guard.

These older guys were not there for my photoshop lesson but they really earned my respect. Lifelong learning indeed.

Many are complaining that technologies and robots are taking over our jobs but the truth is while they are taking away some of the more manual work, ICT jobs are on the rise and it's now a good time to consider picking up digital/IT skills for a potential career switch. With better ICT skills, it means that you will potentially get a higher paying job, or one that gives you more job satisfaction and better career longevity. So is taking course and upskilling important? You tell me.

NTUC LearningHub actually has a lot more to offer. Besides creative courses such as the one I attended, they also have courses for soft skills, IT skills, HR diplomas and even online courses by Udemy!

I’m actually toying with the idea of doing another course soon. Anyone game enough to join me? #DontSayBoJio

On an unrelated note, I’m very addicted to this show on NetFlix - How to get away with murder. Sounds like a course to sign up for?

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