Kicking the habit of co-sleeping.

One of the biggest pain of be coming a parent is adapting to changes. If it has been such a difficult journey for me, what makes me think that it is going to be easy for my child?

Changes kicked in the moment I knew my wife was expecting Seth. I started throwing things out and emptied out a room for him and all the stuff that he might need. Because of him, I sold my bicycle, collapsed one of my tables in my studies, and dismantled all my legos and kept them into different boxes.

So with the new child on his way, one of the big changes for Seth is that he has to stop co-sleeping with us. He has his own bed but I do enjoy co-sleeping with him, thus I have been allowing him to co-sleep with us despite his age(He is turning 4 soon). The moments spent in bed before he falls asleep or just having him around while I call it a night from working late are rather precious to me.

Smelling his tiny little head and giving him a kiss on his forehead is pretty much my routine every night.

One of the things we did to help him to adapt is by enticing him with his own room where all his favourite toys and books will be.

Yup. That also means more of my stuff went out the window. Figuratively. I gave up my dumbbells, my books, some of my collectibles and yet another study table. I am left without a room to work from home anymore. I guess that is pretty much a want than a need.

There is no way for me to work from home these days anyway.

"Papa, are you doing work? Why are you still doing work? Can you play with me?"


Cat, "meow."

Seth. "shhhhhh."

He was supposed to be napping but he was trying to play w his toys quietly and got caught on cctv. Lol.

Being very worried parents, my wife and I decided to install a CCTV to keep an eye on this little one. For those of you who are familiar with his adventures, you will know that he is always up to no good.

So this happened the other night...




Not sure drunk or asleep.

Good night my little one.

Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite.

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I choose working late over spending time with my kid, because I choose to.

42: The answer to life, the universe and everything. If you are nerdy enough you will get the reference.

However, real life is not as easy as that. There is no “one size fits all” solution. We all have our own backstories, limitations, and priorities. We can’t change what has happened but we can play our cards right forward.

Is it impossible to be a good worker and a good parent at the same time?

Mothership recently published an article by Steven Chia, a Presenter and Senior Editor at CNA, titled - “I won’t choose working late over spending time with my kids, because why would I?”

I would not say the article went viral but it got circulated a little within my social circles. Most of the people I have spoken to supported the narrative with both hands up. The conversations did not stop there. It was unboxed a little more and many friends ended up concluding that life is so tough in Singapore and it is difficult to be a working parent. Regardless of gender.

“At home I have to be a mum as if I am not working, at work I have to work as if I am not a mum. It is almost impossible.”

“I feel very bad when I do not spend enough* time with my kid.”

*I question, what is enough?

“I choose to be self-employed because I do not want to go to the office. I want the flexibility to spend time with my kid.”

“I hate it that I have to handle my kid at night and my boss feels that I am not committed to work. I mean I am already doing my best during office hours. After office hours event should not be considered as an obligation or considered into my appraisal right?”

Steven too gave an example on this.

"So, for instance, it’s your daughter’s birthday and your boss asks that you join him at a client event that same night.
Will you be able to say, “Sorry boss, I can’t because I promised my daughter I would take her out tonight as it’s her birthday” or will you bail on your daughter and attend the work event? What do we put as a priority?
Some may say, “But it’s my boss!” Honestly speaking, if I were the boss, an employee who puts family first would have actually earned some brownie points from me.
Because with that, it’s clear where their priorities lie and what is important to them."

It is not just about brownie points. There are intangible gains too. And yes, I agree with him. It is about priority.

So what’s yours?

Who are you to your children?

Coincidentally I was also talking about my attitude towards work a few days ago on Instagram story. The series of stories was inspired by a friend who asked why I am always working late. Why do I put myself up to so much work and evening work events when I am not required or paid overtime to do so. In his words, “No OT what.. Why work? For what?”

First of all, I think we gain something at almost every good* (can be very subjective) networking session or when working on different projects. The output might be what the bosses want but the outcome and any extra learning or goodwill or relationship goes to you. The value of meeting new people and learning new things will be yours to keep and no one can take that away from you even if you leave the organization. These outcomes might make a difference in your life. In fact, this is my secret to life. I would not say I am successful now but I would say that I probably will not be where I am today if not for all the extra hours I have put in my life that no one made me do. It may not pay off immediately but I believe that one day it will. And I have been benefiting from my “investments” from years ago quite a bit these days.

What about spending time with my son? It is about what you want in life.

“You can’t have the cake and eat it too.”

We can’t have the best of both worlds. I choose to work hard on weekdays and spend quality time with my son on weekends even if it means that I have to work late and not see him at all for 5 days in a row .

I’ve shared this more times than I can remember at various talks as well as with friends who have come to me for advice.

I want to be that father whom my son is proud of. That role model. That guy whom he is proud of.

“My dad is the so and so of the company. He has the resources to help our project.” - My son at age 16.

“My dad did this before. Let’s ask him for advice.” - My son at age 24

“Your dad is so cool. I heard he is the so and so right?” - My son’s future friend, Samantha.

“Omg, is that your dad on TV last night? (not crime watch)” - My son’s future friend, Siti

I do not want my son to love me because I can cook for him or bring him to school. I am not looking down on or putting down people who do that. That is just not me. And I am lucky that I have a wife and a family that supports my way of life.

My helper can cook for him, my helper can bring him to school too. Can my son be proud of my helper the same way I want him to be proud of me? Probably no. It might not be a very popular opinion, just like me pulling off my favourite red boots.

I do not want to be the father who tells my son that I used to do this and that for fun but no longer doing them. I do not want to be the father whom my son looks at my old photos and asks me how come I used to be cool but not anymore. I do not want my son to be the reason or excuse for me to stop being myself. I want my son to be the reason I am the best version of myself. Like in every relationship, we make each other better. Not slow us down.

It might not be what my son wants at the end of the day, but what if it is? He does not know it now either. It is the chance I will take.

Quality time vs Quantity time

Steven pointed out that quantity time is important.

"For any kid out there, I believe it is all about the quantity of time.
Any time with their parents is quality time. A child cannot differentiate between quality time and non-quality time.
To them, they just know whether you are there or not there! What would your kids say if you asked them that today? Are you a “there” or “not there” parent?"

I beg to differ. It is all about the balance.

There is no way I can be a happy dad or good dad if I am not happy with my own life. There is no way I can love others if I am unable to even love myself. How can a dad be happy at home just to spend quantity time for the sake of being there when his mind is thinking about work or how poorly he has been performing at work?

It is why I choose to be the best worker I can be from Monday to Friday and when I am with my son, I try my best to keep communication devices away and to focus on him. I am still not very good with this but I’ve set a goal and I am working on it. It is not about just being there physically. There will be days that I am not there. But when I am, I REALLY am.

It is about the process of sharing and nurturing. I am not saying that I am an expert in parenting but this is what I am doing for my son. I really do not see a point of me just being there but be on the mobile phone most of the time. I want to be present.

We all want to be the best worker at work and the best parent at home. It might be easier for some who have already achieved what they want in their careers. It might be a lot tougher on those who are struggling just to bring home the bacon. Whatever our situations are, more importantly is that our heart is in the right place. Take responsibility towards both family and workplace. Nobody says it is going to be easy, but we all try.

If politicians can do their part as workers, parents, and parents to their citizens, I am sure we can. If celebrities can do all the things they are doing and still be an amazing parent, I am sure we can. I do not think I am less than them just because my job is less “important”. I believe we all can as long as we are clear of what we want to achieve and work towards it.

We must find a way to put family first

The only reason why I work so hard IS because I put family first. I want my family to be proud of me. I know I am not there 5 days a week. But hey, you still have 2 days right? LOL.

It is not an excuse. I clearly know if it ain’t because I care about my family, my wife, and my son. I am dead sure I will be somewhere out there in other countries living from pay cheque to pay cheque if it was not because of them. I might not look or sound like one but I probably am a hippie inside.

As employers or even co-workers, we need to understand that everyone has different priorities in life. I cannot expect all my staff or co-workers to work like me simply because of my own choice. But we should not penalize anyone for choosing to spend more time physically with their family.

As a leader, we need to lead with wisdom, take risks and make tough decisions, but above all – exercise compassion when compassion is needed.

The answer to life…

No one has the answer to YOUR life. You fight for what you want. Make the decisions that no one else can make for you. Take your stand regardless of the consequences. Take charge of your own life.

I’ve made mine for now. I am not telling you that my way is the right way for you. I might be wrong, I might regret it, I might grow old and bite my words. Isn’t that the beauty of life? We get to write our own stories and it ain’t over ‘til it’s over.

This guy just ain’t giving up. Did you watch his recent Rambo last blood? CRAZY. HE IS 73!

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Guide to #soloparenting for newbie Dads

Seth is 2ish and he understands most commands and at the same time able to say what he wants and how he is feeling so it's actually not THAT difficult. It was really quite an interesting experience considering that this is kinda the first time the wife went away after he became a toddler. The last time when the wife was away, he was just a baby and it was much easier to manage cause you just have to put him there and that's about it.

Many have also asked me why didn't we make take trip together with the wife or why didn't my wife just bring lil Seth along. I mean she deserves her holiday as well and also because I really can't stand traveling during June and December because of the peak pricing as well as noisy kids on plane. :x

I'm no child whisperer and I feel that Seth is a pretty well disciplined kid on a whole so I think I got it rather easy. That being said, below are some pointers that I wish to share with every dad out there, young or old. Do feel free to let me know if you have additional tips or if I did anything wrong! We are all in it together (sounds wrong but okay can.)

1. Get him mentally prepared

Just a random picture of him.

Don't drop the bomb on him that mum is going to be away for a week all out of a sudden. We started explaining to him what is going to happen and how long is mummy going to be away. He might not really have an understanding of number of days but at least let him know that certain activities that he usually does with mummy is going to be disrupted. For Seth it is mostly bed time. So bed time is going to be just daddy and him alone.

2. Plan your schedule 

It's not just about him but it's also about yourself. If you ain't going to plan your day properly it might be a little crazy. He goes to school during the usual weekday office hours. So the extra duty for me is really to ensure that he goes to school on time and comes home in one piece. The sending of Seth to school is usually done by my wife. With that duty on me now, it means that I've to plan my day to ensure everything goes according to plan. I would have to wake up earlier, end my work day earlier and I've to plan everything ahead of time.

3. Plan activities for him 

#OOTD

The easiest way for dads to take care of children is always TV and iPads but my wife and I are quite strict on this. We do give him a little of TV time each day but strictly no iPads. Which means I've to ensure that I've something for him to do each day. This is pretty much the same on weekdays since it's part of the routine. What is a little different is on weekends when it's just the both of us. Not to lie, I don't think I can spend 8-10hrs with him alone in a room. He drives me a little crazy with his silly questions and unlimited energy sometimes. Make it all the time.

4. Get help! 

erm... I don't mean getting another gf to help or something hor. Before I get flamed, this girl's bf was also there and behind me. LOL. 

No shame in that. We ain't no LeBron James so it's really not important that we have to do it alone to prove anything. I mean I've a helper that helps with most of the other daily chores but I mean get help from friends. I'm lucky because my crew are big fans of Seth. So I planned some outings together with the boys and girls and even got them over to play with them while I get to rest a little or even watch TV. That's what friends are for!

5. Meals

Hungry during outings? Always order his meal before ordering your own to avoid having to eat two meals. And also just in case he didn't like what he ordered.

This is one of the biggest headaches for me. I mean my helper do cook his meals most of the time but for those who do not have a helper at home it can be very challenging. The easy way out is to order a pizza for both of you but it ain't going to happen for the whole period of time. The easiest way out is to get your parents or in-laws to cook dinner. I mean do not say "eh mother you cook ah!", that's just rude. Tell them "MUMMY! I'm bringing your grandson home to have dinner with you and spend some quality time!" TAR DAR! 2 birds 1 stone. Filial son and awesome dad that provides good food to your son!

6. Staying with Granny 

Seth loves his Granny aka my mum. He has always wanted to sleep over but we haven't really tried it because we really have no clue how he will adapt to staying at someone else's house without us. So it was a good chance for me to try out since the wife is not around. It's also a good way to let me go party, get drunk, go crazy, and be single for one night work late at night. It's a good way to let him try to adapt to a different environment and not rely too much on us and at the same time give us some time out if you are not used to spending too much time alone with your child. I know that sounded wrong but I'm sure many parents feel that way all the time that their kids can be a little overwhelming but too shy to say it out loud on the internet because they don't wanna be labelled as bad parents. Call a spade a spade, everyone needs some alone time to balance their own mental state. And now that we are clear that he is fine with staying with Granny, it also means that more date nights for you and your wife in the future.

7. Don't have too much fun 

I know probably most mums will be throwing things at me for this but the dads will agree and also deep down, the mums probably know it's true. Women are almost always jealous. You should have fun with your son but you must make sure that your son's favourite person is still his mum. Always try to catch her on Facetime, Skype, or whichever video call. Rehearse with your child and make sure he/she will say "MAMA I MISS YOU!". It's not trickery, it's just managing the relationship. I know it's contradicting that your wife needs you to look after the child but at the same time cannot have too much fun but hey, as a married man you should know what you signed up for. If it ain't contradicting and complicated, it ain't women we are talking about.

I hope my points above can help you with your struggle fun time with your child. I actually had a lot of fun dealing with lil Seth alone. It brought us a lot closer and I really enjoy those silly conversations we have as father and son. For example this. #okaycan

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Hey Seth 2018

Hey Seth!


Taken Feb 2017

Guess what? YOU SURVIVED ANOTHER 365 days! Or rather, all of us survived this together but we have no clue what is coming next. You just turned 2 and this is the time everyone calls the ‘Terrible Twos." and some say that it might just become "Terrible 3,4,5,6" and it will continue if we are unlucky. *shrug*

ANYWAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!



Your first visit to the Zoo. Are you the half blood prince?

Anyway, it has been a fulfilling year for me having you around. You have grown up so much this year. You grew taller, you lost weight, and you have picked up so many skills and new words. You might not be able to speak in full sentences yet but you sure have a lot to say.



Some of your favourite words include,

Vibemin which means vitamin.

Gurt which means Yogurt.


#OOTD Much?

Word Party - your favourite TV show which I randomly stumbled upon on Netflix. Just in case Netflix is no longer around by the time you are reading this, it's this subscription based, on-demand TV.

Papa, which might means yours truly or sometimes means you are scared.

And of course your latest obsession – DINOSAUR!

And for some funny reason, you are speaking in 3rd person all the time.

Baby's food. Baby's ball. Baby watch Tv.

Yes, you call yourself baby all the time and you actually knows how to use "'s" as compared to 95% of our population that goes "My one."


You ain't exactly the bravest and most adventurous kid in town.

Having you around changed me this year. You have grown from this useless little poop machine to a charming little man like your father. (If you are able to read, you would probably know 2 things about your dad by now. He is very charming, and nonetheless shameless as well.) I used to work 16hrs a day and spending a longer day in the office has never been a chore to me. With you becoming who you are over the last 12 months, you have charmed me to become a faster worker, and one that knows when to stop. I try to reach home earlier to spend some time with you before you call it a night, I also try my best not to schedule any work meeting or photoshoots on the weekend.



Do I miss having a life that I can travel and do things without missing you? Maybe.

Do I miss you? A lot more. Some nights are harder than others at work due to stress and demanding clients but the sight of you sleeping besides me with your head on the same pillow just make everything better. Until the point when you decide to flip and smash your leg onto my new nose. You are one active sleeper.



You did your first ever trip to Taiwan last December with your mum, my mum, your aunt, and myself. To be honest, I hated the idea of bringing you overseas. I was worried about your well being, your diet, how you handle the cold weather, and of course for selfish reasons, I do not want to carry your luggage as well. It's really a lot to bring you know? However, the trip turned out pretty well. You had so much fun, you were all laughters, you were the perfect model for family trip posters, and above all, you were very well behaved.



EXCEPT, (I'm sure you saw this coming) the fact that you are crazily obsessed with your suitcase. You will cry murder every single time we shifted from hotel to hotel when the bellboy helped us with it. You will go "BABY LUGGAGE! BABY LUGGAGE!!" OI! All you have inside are like some diapers, nobody is stealing ittttt.



You my son has major ODC. You can't accept things to be incomplete, you can't handle it when things are not the way they are supposed to be. To be honest, I am really worried that you grow up to be one boring person who follows rules too much.

That aside, you are one sly kid so I guess you will be okay growing up.


See?


This is my ball. MINE!

Talking about growing up, things seem to be pretty much on track so far. My conscious effort of making sure you like basketball and dance seems to be really working out well. You will always go for a ball whenever you see one and you will always move when there's music in the air. Of course, you will also always eat when there is food. If you grow up to be a fat boy, that's on you not me. LOL.

Besides that, your current obsession includes, word party, cars, planes, light saber, dinosaur and penguins.



School seems to be pretty easy for you I guess. You were well liked by everyone in the school from friends to teachers. Like I said earlier, you are charming and I'm not even surprised. You know the saying that the apple doesn't fall too far away from the tree? And your mum ain't exactly the... oh nvm about that. LOL. But thanks to school, you found your way to the doctor's pretty often. You were admitted to the hospital and lucky it was nothing major. You were a brave boy. You recovered quickly and you weren't exactly much of a problem either. But my heart hurts when your mum told me about how you were always waiting for me to visit. You will start calling for me when you hear any footsteps, and you will even request to head over to the entrance and wait for papa. See lah, how to focus on work when you are such a darling?

Not only are you popular in school but you are also popular within our friends. Some of my friends even visit me just to play with you. Pretty much visiting you actually. And you even stayed up late just to play drinking games with my friends during New Year's eve. Erm, you played the game but we did the drinking just in case you are wondering.

Wisdom from after being a dad for another year? 



There are always a lot of things that we as parents wish you will become one day but I guess the potential of a child is really based on the effort put in by the parents. I am not afraid that this might come back to bite me one day when you feel like I didn't do my part as a dad to make you a better person because this is what I really believe. There might be some stuff that is tied down to your personality (or star sign or horoscope depending on your belief) but I think the major factor is really one's exposure and at such age, your exposure is really us. We are your 1st hero and heroine. You look up upon us. It's strange how Ah Ma and our helper spend so much time with you but end of the day you always know who are your parents and they are the one that you will look upon. YOU, are a result of us. I will always try my best to make sure you grow up into a fine man who the world might not deserve but the man the world needs.

It's not easy juggling you and starting my new business but I will always do my best. Or at least, I tried.

So I'm sorry if I didn't do good enough okay?

Fly High, Burn Bright, Baby Seth.
You will always be my baby.
Smith Your 1st Hero. (I think, I wish, I hope. I am. Right?)


No more. Next year?

In case you are new around here;

Hey Seth 2016
Hey Seth 2017

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Attending school at a young age changes your child.

Time flies and Seth is already 18 months old, it seems like it was just yesterday when he was still a little hamster looking thing in my arms. (I'm probably the only dad who describes his son in this way.). In fact, he is already 19 months old while I'm typing this. I know, as usual I'm a little late on my post again. (shrugs)



Just like every other parent, we choose to believe that our son is very quite smart but being quite smart is not quite enough in Singapore these days. Not too sure if it's true but I'm one of those kiasu parents who already planned what classes to send my child to etc. In fact I'm already thinking of what primary school and secondary school to send him to even before he was born. #TigerDad much I know, and many of my friends were very surprised that I'm like this considering how playful I am as a person.

This could probably be because of who I am and what opportunities I didn't have as a kid that I wish to provide for my son now. I might not have all the money in the world, or drive the most expensive car, but we provide him with what we can and work towards providing more at the same time.

I'm not going to force him to do something he doesn't like but instead I'm going to cultivate interest in him so that he can enjoys those lessons. If you guys wish to know I'm going to send him for basketball lessons as well as ballet when age comes. Yes, boys can go for ballet and in fact it will be helpful for him on the basketball court as well as to learn other dances when he grows up.



As of now, we've sent him for swimming lessons which we've stopped because he ain't into it and the lessons are more like water familiarisation over actual learning of how to swim. He is still attending gym classes where it trains his psycho motor skills and interaction with other kids. We also enrolled him into playgroup despite having a helper and my mum to take care of him. At the back of our mind, we know that every preschool and playgroup is different despite what PM Lee mentioned during our recent NDR. He said it laughing thou. I don't know. That knowledge aside, convenience and price still makes a big factor and we landed him at a school near my mum's place.





It has been a month since he attended his first lesson but things haven't been looking too good to be honest. Like every other kid who started school, he fell sick and had a fever so bad that he was admitted to hospital. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming the school but I'm just saying that it's part and parcel of life when your kid would be introduced to germs and the environment that just ain't too good for him.



Not only did he fall sick but other changes were observed as well. Maybe it's too early for me to put a conclusion to his behaviour but one of the biggest changes is that he has become way less independent. He used to be able to interact and run around alone during his 1-hr lesson at the gym and also we used to have no problem leaving him alone with our helper on date nights. Ever since he attended school, because of the long hours of separation during the day, he has become very dependent on us. It's so bad these days that he would cry out for us when we are just in the toilet?



That aside, there are some good things out of this of course. He started eating on his own, he got a little (very very little) bit better with other kids, and he is starting to speak a few more words. It's really painful to see him waking up and crying in the morning before school thou. Hope he quickly starts to enjoy school and settle in. The school teacher did tell us that things might happen once he starts school and we shouldn't be too worry but you know, parents being parents. As much as we wish that he grows up and become stronger, it still hurts us when the process of him becoming stronger seems too tough for him. HOW?

I'm done with my ranting and here are more pictures of my son for all the fans of his. Seriously this is getting out of hand. More and more people are commenting on my IG and Facebook asking for his pictures over mine.



Cheeky boy is cheeky.

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Hey Seth 2017!

When I first announced that we were pregnant some time back in 2015, many of my friends were telling me how my blog will soon become a father blog which I was telling them that I highly doubt so. I really don't see how I am going to blog about where to bring my son during March holidays or the benefits of breastfeeding.

But well, baby Seth has soon quickly joined the team and I believe most of my readers have soon migrated from teamSmith to teamSeth as well. I don't blame them, this little one is really quite a charmer. 

It has been a year and Seth has been a darling. (Most of the time, besides the times where he is really hungry, needs to poop, needs to sleep, not sleeping, needs company, and when we have no idea at all what he wants from us.) As cute as he is and as much laughter as he brings into our lives, I say it more often than I should - parenting ain't for everyone. 

Don't get me wrong. Seth, if you ever read this, I love you. I love you plenty. Although all I did was to well, "make love", your milestones do make me feel... What is that feeling? Proud? Like I mentioned, technically I really didn't do much but when I watched you take your first few steps without holding onto anything or anyone, my heart felt like it was bursting in flames happiness. I mean the following 31295945162803123 number of steps where I had to chase behind you ain't exactly a game I enjoy. 

Being parents change us. Our daily routine is different, our focus is different, our activities are different, and even some things as simple as having a dinner together ain't simple at all anymore. It's seriously scary and frustrating at the same time. Some people will tell me that although it can be frustrating, the smile on your kid will make everything okay. Sorry dude, it doesn't. LOL. The only way to make things right is to actually put in effort to make things right. At least that's for me. 

So here comes his first birthday and my wife was like,

"Let's do a birthday party for him!" 

"What theme should it be? What do you think your son will like?" 

Me, "He is one. He doesn't like anything more than your boobs. Why not let's just do a birthday party where we all flash our boobs. Ya correct. My son likes boobs" 

Wife, "What about Barney? No no no. Peppa Pig? nahh.. or Disney?" 

*clearly ignoring my wonderful suggestion 

Wife, "What is that cartoon? The robot car one? What else? Oh I know le! Pokemon!"

Me, "Huh? My son got play Pokemon meh?" 

Wife, "Oh... No lah... But I like mah." (If you all remember this post. Yes, she clearly likes pokemon.)

Ne, "Huh? Like that also can?

Wife, "Can lah. I go buy decor and stuff okay? ok!" (I didn't even got a chance to reply. WTH?) 

See. A child's birthday is seriously more like the parents throwing a party they always wanted for themselves but never had. So I guess I can only give it to her. My point was very simple, as long as she manages most of the things, I will be there. LOL 

If you haven't gathered from the last conversation. I'm not big into throwing children's parties. Especially at this age where they don't remember much. And on top of that, I feel like it's very strange to celebrate my son's birthday when he has no friends. The party would probably end up with mostly my friends who don't exactly give two hoots about kids. I guess it's just me and my friends. They would very much rather see me in a social setting with less kids and more beers. LOL. Which is exactly why I didn't invite much of my friends. Those who were present were mostly relatives or common friends with my wife or friends with kids whom we really want them to mingle with Seth. (HAHAHA YA. THANKS FOR BEING THERE AND NOW FINDING OUT THAT YOU GUYS ARE BEING USED! MUAHAHA) 

So the wife got a venue, the cake, the decor, the goody bags, food, inviting the guests, with very minimal help from me. Not that I'm not helpful but you know, I was suffering from my broken ankle at that time? I mean I did contribute, I gave approval to some of the stuff and also helped with purchasing online. I mean it's a simple affair after all and I hope Seth had fun. (If he even knew what was happening.) 

Max and Faith who came early to help with the decor as well as shooting some of the photos! 

I am not too sure how Seth feels about celebrating his birthday but I guess he was quite entertained by his Pikachu costume. PIKA PI!

So to end this post, Seth, I'm going to share with you some wisdom I've gained over the last year of parenting you.

Being a dad ain't easy, (I know being a mum is just as tough or even tougher, but my point here ain't about comparing who has it harder. Wah lau. don't distract me.) and like I said before, nobody gets a lesson on how to be a dad or neither do we get a constant test or monitor to tell us how we are doing. I'm sorry if I ain't doing exactly the best in anyway. I know I did my fair bit of travelling, and my busy work schedule take up some weekends too. Even when I am at home, I'll be at my computer. I would sometimes choose to be at the gym or at the basketball court (before the broken ankle) over spending time with you.

It isn't because that I do not love you or  enjoy spending time with you. This may sound like an excuse to some people out there but the truth is that I never want to lose myself because of you. I've seen parents losing themselves while taking care of their kids. They no longer meet their friends, they no longer have hobbies, and even TV shows are catered to the kids. It's a sad thing to know that when you tell your son, "Mummy used to be a cheerleader in school you know?" and you son goes "HAHAHA. DON'T BLUFF LAH MUMMY! YOUR PATTERN CHEERLEADER??"

I need myself to be who I am so when you are ready to become a man, I want you to have someone to learn from and become that person. I am not sure about you but I would love to have a dad that has an interesting career, interesting friends, fun hobbies that I would want to pick up as I grow up. What good is having a dad if he ain't a role model? I mean besides paying the bills. LOL.

They said that kids grow up too fast and you will very much miss this stage but I say I can't wait for you to grow up. You are very cute now for sure but that's not all that I want. I do not just want a son. I want a best friend. I want a person who enjoys things I like, who talks to me, who is my legacy, someone who can take over the things I have when my time comes to meet my maker.

The journey with you so far has been fulfilling. I still remember when you first started learning commands from the typical high fives, flying kiss, bye bye, to some actions that I taught you that your mum wouldn't agree to. I mean it's just you taking my toy chopper which I got from Daiso during Halloween to chop your soft toys. I mean, what's the big deal right? It might be a life saving skill that you will need if zombie apocalypse is to dawn upon your generation right? You are full of attitude. You might know those commands and do it for like 1-2 weeks max and you will soon outgrow it and not do it again unless you want to. Naughty boy!

I love how you will always pose for pictures whenever I take out my camera. The cake smashing photoshoot that we did was one of my favourite moments with you so far. You sat there and ate like almost 1/4 of the cake? You are such a glutton now. I still remember the 1st time when we fed you solid food. You didn't like everything you eat back then but I guess things changed. I still remember the pumpkin feeding session. You were crying so bad our neighbours probably thought that I'd passed away.

Time flies when we are looking back. This year just flew by just like this. How I wish some of those nights when you went crying for an hour could fly by just as quickly. LOL. Yes, you are a horrible baby when it comes to sleeping. Other than that, you are quite a darling, especially when going out to meet people. You are mostly well-behaved and friendly to strangers.

Aiya, I just can't wait for you to grow up!

Love you Seth,
Smith
Your Lao Peh

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