When I first announced that we were pregnant some time back in 2015, many of my friends were telling me how my blog will soon become a father blog which I was telling them that I highly doubt so. I really don't see how I am going to blog about where to bring my son during March holidays or the benefits of breastfeeding.
But well, baby Seth has soon quickly joined the team and I believe most of my readers have soon migrated from teamSmith to teamSeth as well. I don't blame them, this little one is really quite a charmer.
It has been a year and Seth has been a darling. (Most of the time, besides the times where he is really hungry, needs to poop, needs to sleep, not sleeping, needs company, and when we have no idea at all what he wants from us.) As cute as he is and as much laughter as he brings into our lives, I say it more often than I should - parenting ain't for everyone.
Don't get me wrong. Seth, if you ever read this, I love you. I love you plenty. Although all I did was to well, "make love", your milestones do make me feel... What is that feeling? Proud? Like I mentioned, technically I really didn't do much but when I watched you take your first few steps without holding onto anything or anyone, my heart felt like it was bursting in
flames happiness. I mean the following 31295945162803123 number of steps where I had to chase behind you ain't exactly a game I enjoy.
Being parents change us. Our daily routine is different, our focus is different, our activities are different, and even some things as simple as having a dinner together ain't simple at all anymore. It's seriously scary and frustrating at the same time. Some people will tell me that although it can be frustrating, the smile on your kid will make everything okay. Sorry dude, it doesn't. LOL. The only way to make things right is to actually put in effort to make things right. At least that's for me.
So here comes his first birthday and my wife was like,
"Let's do a birthday party for him!"
"What theme should it be? What do you think your son will like?"
Me, "He is one. He doesn't like anything more than your boobs. Why not let's just do a birthday party where we all flash our boobs. Ya correct. My son likes boobs"
Wife, "What about Barney? No no no. Peppa Pig? nahh.. or Disney?"
*clearly ignoring my wonderful suggestion
Wife, "What is that cartoon? The robot car one? What else? Oh I know le! Pokemon!"
Me, "Huh? My son got play Pokemon meh?"
Wife, "Oh... No lah... But I like mah." (If you all remember this post. Yes, she clearly likes pokemon.)
Ne, "Huh? Like that also can?
Wife, "Can lah. I go buy decor and stuff okay? ok!" (I didn't even got a chance to reply. WTH?)
See. A child's birthday is seriously more like the parents throwing a party they always wanted for themselves but never had. So I guess I can only give it to her. My point was very simple, as long as she manages most of the things, I will be there. LOL
If you haven't gathered from the last conversation. I'm not big into throwing children's parties. Especially at this age where they don't remember much. And on top of that, I feel like it's very strange to celebrate my son's birthday when he has no friends. The party would probably end up with mostly my friends who don't exactly give two hoots about kids. I guess it's just me and my friends. They would very much rather see me in a social setting with less kids and more beers. LOL. Which is exactly why I didn't invite much of my friends. Those who were present were mostly relatives or common friends with my wife or friends with kids whom we really want them to mingle with Seth. (HAHAHA YA. THANKS FOR BEING THERE AND NOW FINDING OUT THAT YOU GUYS ARE BEING USED! MUAHAHA)
So the wife got a venue, the cake, the decor, the goody bags, food, inviting the guests, with very minimal help from me. Not that I'm not helpful but you know, I was suffering from my broken ankle at that time? I mean I did contribute, I gave approval to some of the stuff and also helped with purchasing online. I mean it's a simple affair after all and I hope Seth had fun. (If he even knew what was happening.)
|Max and Faith who came early to help with the decor as well as shooting some of the photos!|
I am not too sure how Seth feels about celebrating his birthday but I guess he was quite entertained by his Pikachu costume. PIKA PI!
So to end this post, Seth, I'm going to share with you some wisdom I've gained over the last year of parenting you.
Being a dad ain't easy, (I know being a mum is just as tough or even tougher, but my point here ain't about comparing who has it harder. Wah lau. don't distract me.) and like I said before, nobody gets a lesson on how to be a dad or neither do we get a constant test or monitor to tell us how we are doing. I'm sorry if I ain't doing exactly the best in anyway. I know I did my fair bit of travelling, and my busy work schedule take up some weekends too. Even when I am at home, I'll be at my computer. I would sometimes choose to be at the gym or at the basketball court (before the broken ankle) over spending time with you.
It isn't because that I do not love you or enjoy spending time with you. This may sound like an excuse to some people out there but the truth is that I never want to lose myself because of you. I've seen parents losing themselves while taking care of their kids. They no longer meet their friends, they no longer have hobbies, and even TV shows are catered to the kids. It's a sad thing to know that when you tell your son, "Mummy used to be a cheerleader in school you know?" and you son goes "HAHAHA. DON'T BLUFF LAH MUMMY! YOUR PATTERN CHEERLEADER??"
I need myself to be who I am so when you are ready to become a man, I want you to have someone to learn from and become that person. I am not sure about you but I would love to have a dad that has an interesting career, interesting friends, fun hobbies that I would want to pick up as I grow up. What good is having a dad if he ain't a role model? I mean besides paying the bills. LOL.
They said that kids grow up too fast and you will very much miss this stage but I say I can't wait for you to grow up. You are very cute now for sure but that's not all that I want. I do not just want a son. I want a best friend. I want a person who enjoys things I like, who talks to me, who is my legacy, someone who can take over the things I have when my time comes to meet my maker.
The journey with you so far has been fulfilling. I still remember when you first started learning commands from the typical high fives, flying kiss, bye bye, to some actions that I taught you that your mum wouldn't agree to. I mean it's just you taking my toy chopper which I got from Daiso during Halloween to chop your soft toys. I mean, what's the big deal right? It might be a life saving skill that you will need if zombie apocalypse is to dawn upon your generation right? You are full of attitude. You might know those commands and do it for like 1-2 weeks max and you will soon outgrow it and not do it again unless you want to. Naughty boy!
I love how you will always pose for pictures whenever I take out my camera. The cake smashing photoshoot that we did was one of my favourite moments with you so far. You sat there and ate like almost 1/4 of the cake? You are such a glutton now. I still remember the 1st time when we fed you solid food. You didn't like everything you eat back then but I guess things changed. I still remember the pumpkin feeding session. You were crying so bad our neighbours probably thought that I'd passed away.
Time flies when we are looking back. This year just flew by just like this. How I wish some of those nights when you went crying for an hour could fly by just as quickly. LOL. Yes, you are a horrible baby when it comes to sleeping. Other than that, you are quite a darling, especially when going out to meet people. You are mostly well-behaved and friendly to strangers.
Aiya, I just can't wait for you to grow up!
Love you Seth,
Your Lao Peh