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Wednesday, September 02, 2015

5 Actors I would have gay sex with.

9/02/2015 11:34:00 AM Posted by Smith Leong , , , No comments
It is one of those mornings that we thank technology such as Facebook Messenger. A morning of frivolity with the amazing Flora Isabelle.

F "I can't decide between Beckham or Channing Tatum." 

S "For what? Sexual fantasy?" (For blog readers, my actual words were way more crude)

F ".... NO..."

After some other random exchange of words,

F "What about you? Who would you have gay sex with?"

S "I mean I wouldn't think about it. (Because being gay is not a choice) but for debate sake, I think I like rugged looking man. Man who are not too clean and not too skinny."

I twitted about it and it seems like there are a handful of people who are really interested to know who I would choose. I mean I have no idea why but for debate sake here's my top 5!

Adam Levine 

Of course Adam! Why not? I would like to hear your autotuned voice in bed and I will never leave this bed. (I think)

Bradley Cooper

I would thought that I give it ago between me and him but it escalated really quickly and he wanted it to be a 4 person affair. I mean since it's a hypothetical thing. I guess I'm in. (no pun intended)

David Beckham

Tattoo, manly, nice body etc. David Beckham will always score in every ways with both man and woman I guess.

Gerald Butler

Hello. You watched 300? It is Gerald BUTTler for a reason. But I mean the 300 him not the America Donut Mascot him.

Hugh Jackman

Don't be too shocked "Huge" Jackman. Of course it is you! I mean Wolverine you and not the Les miserables you!

So there you have it! 5 of the man of my dream. (I don't believe I'm saying this) Which of them would you sleep with?

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

What I Do In The Shadows by Azly J Nor

If you haven't read about this person previously from SMRT (Feedback). You really should. This post was posted by him 1st on his Facebook Note but I am posting it here in case it gets remove some how. I am simply posting it. None of this content belongs to me and neither does it proves that I am a supporter (or not).

I am sharing it because this is simply gold. It is way too good to be "just a joke". And it felt really like some movie crosses V for Vendetta or something.

Original Post on FB: https://www.facebook.com/notes/azly-j-nor/what-i-do-in-the-shadows/718297924981280?__mref=message_bubble

Related Read: http://tehtarikparty.com/

What I Do In The Shadows

I remember it was in the evening of December 15, 2011 when I logged into IRC to see a flood of comments about the MRT disruption. It was to be one of the worst train disruption in SMRT's history. And then we had a plan.

I was part of an online community in IRC. It wasn't very big. We had a channel called #brainy where like-minded people with an interest in everything that's to do with human intelligence come together to have a banter. By intelligence, I do not refer to the collection of information that is of military or political value, but rather, the understanding of the power of reasoning, logic, and acuity.

The rules of the community was simple. None of us were to communicate in their own names or exchange personal information about ourselves. Everyone was anonymous. The idea was that without a face and the knowledge of a person's character, no one will be able to have a cognitive bias about the individual. Without such bias, any discourse about a myriad of topics are seen with neutrality, without any irrationality in judgement due to inferences about the person's background.

"Let there be light, and there was light."

On December 16, 2011, right after the major breakdown, someone in the community lamented about how there wasn't any proper feedback channel for SMRT that was real-time. It was then the page SMRT Ltd (Feedback) was formed. The intent was to compile all complaints into one easily digestible page to get SMRT to look into.

Of course, some of us felt it was a very boh liao thing to do at the time but coincidentally, the topic of discussion during the day in that channel was on the concept of Totalism, more specifically, Psychological Totalism.

Psychological Totalism is the idealogical concept of total control over human behaviour and thought. This may sound complex but it's basically the idea that we can change human perception through a controlled conversation flow that seeks to exploit specific behavioural patterns and emotions of an individual with the objective of changing a negative perception into that of positivity.

And it was something the real SMRT probably needed.

I'm a big fan of dry humour, although I'm not exactly very humorous in nature. We had two accounts for the page: the Administrator, and the Editor. The guy/lady that started the page was the administrator, and anyone from the #brainy community who wants in can log in through an Editor account.

The Editor account is shared amongst other people including myself. I'm not entirely sure how many are there but the structure was simple enough to have a fallback contingency. The rule of our wolf pack was that anonymity has to be maintained; there should be no political discussions whatsoever, and that any disclosure as to who's behind the page has to be from a personal angle instead of a group. (Eg. I am the page admin as opposed to several people are the page admins.) This was to ensure personal responsibility in the event the page have run-ins with the law. Let's face it. Nobody is going to go to jail for you. If one gets caught, he faces the penalties whilst the Facebook page remains in it's entirety.

Failing to conform to these rules will have access to the Editor role removed and access to the #brainy channel banned. This was a tough penalty because the IRC channel was a place where we shared alot of research topics; from brain hacking to philosophy, determinism and free will. Anything and everything. It was a goldmine of information and access to this community was by referral. One has to go through a simple series of test in network penetration and social engineering. It was our collective belief that if one is able to traverse a network without much digital footprint, he or she is competent enough to protect him or herself, and to keep the consequential effects of anonymity at bay, a belief that forms the building blocks of the #brainy community.

"Shots fired! Shots fired!"

We all had our day-jobs. To keep the engagement running, anyone who was free at any particular point of time will post on the page. I started posting on December 17, 2011. It was the day of the 2nd largest breakdown, and boy did I had fun.

I was known as the "Customer Service Guy" in the group. If you had message SMRT Feedback between December 2011 and June 2012, and you've received some smartass remark, that was probably me.

I am also that guy who is still finding that kueh. 

I mastered the art of Tai-chi too.

I didn't really ace my Math but I guess I got the concept right.

And of course, Philosophy.

The administrator does not seem to be an active participant of the page since early 2012. Every year, between January to March, SMRT Feedback will be unpublished for at least 48 hours. Posts deemed very controversial will be removed by the administrator, and once it's been cleaned up, the page gets publish again.

The page has since grown into Singapore's social media badass (or dumbass as some would call it), known for its dark humour and snarky wit. It was the effort of a collective, with a belief that if you want to confront something head-on, you put everything out in the open instead of suppressing opinions and painting a fantastical picture over it. By suppressing thoughts, you amplify curiosity and if there is no proper channel for feedback, these curiosities will manifest itself into perception, creating an illusion of truth and with time, will be perceived as being the truth itself.

But of course, the reality of life took a toll. Many left and many joined. I left midway through 2012 to focus on a start-up. Priorities changed and the page was left to run on it's own by anyone who is boh liao enough to do so. Many of SMRT Feedback's followers who have been religiously keeping up with the page updates have noticed a change in tonality and overall 'feel'. I don't fault them. The old guards are now gone, and the freshlings took over. It's been close to 4 years, surely many would have move forward in life. I did.

By 2013, the #brainy IRC group no longer exist. It has been running since 2004. And now here I am prepping myself up for the General Elections. I've stood for public office before, more specifically, stood infront of it - at the Police Cantonment Complex.

I'm not a fan of politics. It's annoying all these back and forth talk about what's good for the people and what's not. I think all political parties have their fair share of good idealogy and at the same time, both camps have idiots saying idiotic things. I wanted to be rational; that common man on the street who wants his voice heard.

I didn't come from a privileged background, neither is my father a 'sombody'. I didn't go through the traditional route of education. I went for night classes at the Singapore Accountancy Academy whilst at the same time studying for my 'O' level. I went into NS earlier than my cohort, and along the way dropped out of ACCA. I was heavily involved in start-ups and the creation of things although I didn't actually create anything particularly useful.

And now it comes to this. The Teh Tarik Party.

I developed the concept of Teh Tarik Economics to represent the philosophical idea of determinism where every human decisions and actions are based from preceding circumstances, both cognitive and metaphysical, to cause a future chain of events shaped out of our individual motives and desires. Such events are then influenced through Psychological Totalism, as explained earlier - the idealogical concept of total control over human behaviour and thought.

Truth to be told, I'm not exactly sure what I've just said or how Teh Tarik has any relation to determinism.

But one thing I know for sure is that to make a good mug of teh tarik, the contributing ingredients that forms the drink has to be in harmony. With the right mix and the right temperature, we are able to create a nice consistency.

This can be applied to politics. Any policies proposed has to be in harmony with each other to collectively form the system. With the right diversity and the right environment, only then can the system be consistent.

I created the Manifesto to represent this consistency. It's idealistic and radical, but perhaps it's something that we need for Singapore. If you haven't already read the Manifesto, here are the policies that I've covered:

3. Tax

Let's face it. It's not the future of our children we are worried about. We are more worried that we have to pay for their asses in the future. Nobody wants to make a living. They simply want to retire early. There's a difference.

I end this note with the hope that Singaporeans will now think rationally when deciding the future of Singapore. Don't oppose for the sake of opposing, and don't be blinded by populist ideology. I am not pro-Singaporean neither do I accept the definition of a 'true-blue Singaporean'. When we divide people into different categories and class, we are in for a downward spiral, and it's something that I cannot accept. 

The current team at SMRT Feedback will continue to do what they do best and I thank them for helping me to amplify the manifesto. This is also part of their public disclosure policy, to ensure the Government, the Authorities and the people, that SMRT Feedback is here to stay and will be the neutral voice for Singapore, without fear nor favour. I'm no longer part of them but I guess once you've put on the mask, you carry their legacy. And yes, they are still anonymous. I have no idea who they are and it's not anytime soon that their identities will be revealed because the structure and design is pretty much failsafe - has been for the past 4 years, and will remain so for the next few years.

I may or may not run for elections, but the manifesto is there for everyone to figure out where their vote goes to.

In the near future, I'll probably be walking to court with a target behind my back, but I guess that's the beauty of karma.
To one and all, my name is Azly J Nor. In case I don't see you, good morning, good evening, and goodnight.

Monday, August 31, 2015

What people say when they first meet me

8/31/2015 11:11:00 AM Posted by Smith Leong , , , , No comments
We always talk about the importance of 1st impression back in the good old days where people only start to interact with each other upon meeting new people in business or social setting. Is the game still the same considering how we actually make friends way more often online with the help of social media? Be it reading someone off their Twitter, Blog, Instagram or even dating sites such as Tinder or adultfriendfinder Paktor, we will always have an online impression of the person even before we meet them. How often are these two persona the same?

It's not easy be a super hero, fighting crime and at the same time go out with all my friends. I actually do have a lot of friends that I've never really met in real life but we spend a lot of time online chatting and bitching about people life. Below are some of the things that people tell me when they 1st met me after being my online friend for awhile. Yes, don't judge. We now make friends online all the time.

You are actually taller than I thought!  

My Reply: That is because I am only the size of your iPhone or monitor screen which ain't 180cm tall. So ya. I am taller. #SanksEverybodySanks

You actually sound better than your writing 

My Reply: Not even if it is a real compliment about me being well spoken or having very bad writing skill. But that ain't something new to me. I know my flawed grammar, bad sentence structure and also how lazy to proof read something twice. Which is why I always feel blessed that people still read my silly writing online.

I always imagined you to be very (more) chin chong 

My Reply: Actually I am. Like I have this sticker that says "Ah Beng Inside". Growing up from a dialect speaking family and hanging out with the ah bengs from neighbourhood school did make me rather chin chong but I guess I got a little less chin chong along the way when I started working and mixing with people in the advertising and media industry. I would say I'm pretty versatile.

You are one of those few guys that have an exact same persona both online and offline 

My Reply: In fact I find it very hard to be like those keyboard warriors to talk a lot online and feel so awkward in real life. It's really not hard to maintain a single persona when you are both an asshole on and offline. LOL.

I always thought bloggers are very snobbish but you are very friendly

My Reply: Sanks Sanks~ But really, don't use me as a bench mark for other broggers. Cause I am kinda lame and silly. I can't say the same for the other chao broggers.

You are really handsome 

Fine... Said no one ever... :( #SadFace

So for those who have met me. Do you agree? For those who have yet to meet me. Ladies please drop me an email as for the guys.. erm.. see you when I see you.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Smith Leong For The Win

8/27/2015 03:28:00 PM Posted by Smith Leong , , , , , , No comments

Smith Leong is a post-90kg Singaporean who believes in social media.
He started writing silly things and had his Facebook account created since the age of 2007. (I think)


Dear Singaporean, 

As you have heard from the news, I was "scammed" $88 dollars some month again. 

I will be shopping only on Taobao.com from now on. (okay, maybe also carousell, Lazada, a bit of Q10, sometimes NBA.com. My point is no more streetdeal)

After years of shopping online since 2009, this is the 1st time I actually got scammed and this is just not right. 

From a normal shopper to someone who got scammed. I must stand up to prevent such bad practices from going on anymore. 

Online Shopping is the closest thing to heart besides playing basketball. Online shopping is even better than sex real life shopping because you can do it at home, at the office or even just wearing your boxers. It is extremely good especially on days when they give you discounts like 15% off, 50% off (like for SG50 - #SimisaialsoSG50) and someday I hope they give 67.1% of discount too. 

My friend (Melva) and I tio scam jialat jialat this time and I have also heard from a lot of people telling me that they lost their $88SGD to this site too. I really hope that #ReturnOur88SGD can help more people to be aware and at least not tio scam anymore. 

We are also looking for 10,000 hot pretty Singaporean girls to help me with organising a Mardi Gras event because such party makes me happy and forget about my $88. (Just in case I cannot get my $88 back)

Please support by giving me your friends's and friends' friend and also friends' friends' friends number as long as they are hot and pretty. Even your sister or Mum also can. Together we shall unite, party and BRING THE HOUSE DOWN! 

Please help to share this meaningful party with your friends. 


Father of Unicorns,
Smith Leong 

Monday, August 24, 2015

Dog Sitting!

8/24/2015 01:15:00 PM Posted by Smith Leong , , , , , , No comments
So my neighbour got busy and left their dog with me again.  The family is okay with her... Until..... feeding time.

Cats: Let's go for her food.
Dog: Oh dinner. But I'm not exactly hungry.
Dog: I think I will just walk away and come back later since I am not hungry. 
Quite a bad mistake to leave your food alone with Ted around. 

Dog: Oh, No No! That's my food! 
So the dog learnt her lesson and start to have her dinner.

Cat: I hope this bitch can't finish and leave some for me.

Damn it! She really finish everything!!! Why is it empty!
These kids are really funny to watch. haha. I really wonder how they communicate. haha.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Xu Bin Loves Doggie over Pussy.

8/22/2015 02:40:00 PM Posted by Smith Leong , , , , , 2 comments
I have no idea what was the context but I saw this online.

Image as seen on Facebook - Gabriel Seah
But given he is a mediacorp 8 artist: his engrish maybe not so good. So I sms him and ask him to give me a requote and also do the shoot again to clear this up.

I think this was what he really meant.


UPDATED: P.S. was informed that the truth is that he has cat fur allergy. Okay. Give this poor man a break.

Me on the other hand loves pussy cats.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

World.Taobao.com - What's New?

If you have been shopping at Taobao, you would realized that our favourite SEA.Taobao.com has be changed to WORLD.TAOBAO.COM! WAH! So Cool! It's WORLD BUSINESS NOW!

So what's the difference? What has changed?

- Country Select, Language Select (simplified and traditional Chinese)
- Shows local partner logos - Shows local currency and payment methods
- Direct shipping (one payment for local and international shipping)
- New search result page
- Order place and payment pages are in English

Wait wait. So what is direct shipping? To be honest I've yet to try it myself. If you are familiar with the previous SEA.Taobao and you have been using it with the help of forwarder such as 4px, you will only know how much you need to pay when the product reaches the warehouse and you have to make a 2nd payment which is the shipping BUT now with direct shipping everything will be faster and easier. You will actually find out the shipping cost right at the 1st payment gateway and you do not need to make a 2nd payment as the payment would already be included!

How to choose direct shipping? It is just here! The part where you used to select 4px.

So now we got this cleared up, time for me to show off my purchased list from my previous purchase!

KO Bumblebee Master Piece 

For toys lover, you will know the meaning of KO. The material is not as decent but the model is exactly the same. I got the Takara version and I got this as an extra play piece. :D

Link: Buy Now
Chinese Text: TAKARA 变形金刚 MP21大黄蜂 甲壳虫 ko版 

Courser Camera Bag 

Wanted a nice camera bag since now I've gotten a new camera. Never liked those typical black ugly ones. This is nice as it looks very lifestyle, with multiple compartments, durable and it is cheap!

Link: Buy Now
Chinese Text:  酷色courser单肩帆布摄影包 佳能尼康索尼单反数码相机包 f1002 

Crazy Party Drinking Hat

Sorry for the messy hair.
I do not even know where do i begin on explaining myself like WHY did I buy this. Anyway it is not as easy as it seems. It is actually pretty damn challenging!

Link: Buy Now
Chinese Text: 查看宝贝详情饮料神器奇葩好玩的稀奇古怪搞怪送男生生日礼物创意新奇聚会玩具

In case you find shopping post boring, here's a new video from my fav local rapistrapper - Shigga Shay. Pretty damn awesome that he is getting more main stream on tvs and movies. Love how his raps always includes local culture and stuff.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Chicken Drumsticks

8/19/2015 04:17:00 PM Posted by Smith Leong , , No comments
Captain Smith 

It has been a rough week so far. Like I am really busy with the boss out of town and me coordinating and overlooking the team. That got the better part of me.

Not always easy being the captain. 
Prof Smith.... NOT... 

Sad news is that I was given a teaching opportunity recently but was taken away just 1 day before it was supposed to happen. Spent weeks meeting the course manager on planning of course notes and stuff. He is a really helpful guy and taught me a lot about preparing notes. My ideas were all over the place and he managed to structure them despite being not the expert in my field. I was really looking forward to teaching but... damn.

Story of Chicken Drumsticks 

And so you probably should know by now about the case of me standing up against this online shopping site. So the story got twisted rather quickly no thanks to our chinese papers for translating drumsticks (musical instrument) to drumsticks from a chicken. For the curious mind what i actually bought.


With the story out there, many people have message me on various platform, from whatsapp to email, Facebook etc to ask me about what should they do. Some were friends and some were just stranger on the same ship. I heard from a reliable source that CASE is trying to do something about it and urge us to send in evidence and what not to help them do something. And after visiting case, I was reminded why I did not do this and also explains the small number of cases filed. In order to do this, you would have to pay $10.70 admin fee and also be a member with another member fee and all in all cost you about $60 there about? So I am going to spent $60 to TRY and get back $88. And MEMBERSHIP? Is it me or these two organization sounds like it is being run by the same guy? #JustSaying

Bangkok.... NOT

The long waited Thailand trip got ruined because of the bombing issue. I know I was just at Bangkok with the wife just 2 months back but this trip is my buddy's party trip and we have been looking forward to it for the longest time. We are like teenagers partymate and growing up got us stop doing it and this time was one of those "last vegas" moment that we do it one more time, one for the future. Shit happens and I guess growing up and responsibilities got the adventurous part of me. I would have gone ahead if it was 10 years ago. With everything on my plate I am quite worried about visiting and what kind of emotion trauma I will put on the people around me. The love ones and especially those that I still owe them money. MUAHAHA. Anyway, I hope the land of thousand smiles quickly get back into shape. The nice people don't deserve this.

Not Happening
Perk Me Up 

So to make myself feel better.. I went shopping on Taobao again. LOL. Yeah, gonna blog about that maybe tomorrow or something.

Monday, August 17, 2015

The StreetDeal.sg Story

Life is funny this way. I was feature on TheNewPaper just 1 week ago for being a really happy online shopping addict.

But horror strike rather quickly and I was on the papers again, this time on The Straits Times for being an unhappy shopper. Things sure change very quickly online.

Thanks for the pic @rainnabe (on twitter)
So what exactly happened? I will try to write the account in simple easy to follow point form.


1. Purchase 

I might be an online shopping addict but I only shop on sites that I really trust. For example Taobao, Lazada, Carousell, Amazon, Ebay, Q10 etc and it is really out of the norm that I buy things from sites like Groupon, Streetdeal or Deals because I've heard enough of them but when my blog buddy Melva approached me to help her buy something off Streetdeal.sg because their office blocked it, (for the best) I did not hesitate and just did the purchase.

2. Payment

So for those who are interested to look at the user interface on how I actually missed those details, here's how it looks.

Like I admitted. I did miss the whole banner which says $88 quaterly and also under the TnC. This screen shot was later sent to me by the streetdeal staff highlighting the two boxes.

2.1 Smith Vs Payment Page

The banner looks more like an ad to me.

The First checkbox besides "$88 quaterly" was default "checked" which means it was an "opt out".

The final checkbox is a MUST check in order to purchase and I really just click it after reading "i acknowledge". Yes my bad to not read the full sentence.

The $88 wasn't included in the total amount checked out. That is the most important box that we always pay attention to!

3. The Invoice 

3.1 Smith Vs Invoice

Once again, the total checkout amount only shows the $16.10.

Yes, they did once again show that there will be an $88 charge at the TnC, which I (and everyone else) did not see.

I did forward this to my friend as a confirmation and she too missed it.

This was the ONLY invoice I received. I did not receive another invoice about the later payment of $88. I logged into the purchase history and the $88 wasn't reflected as well. I only found out of this payment thanks to the Credit Card Bill.

4. Refund 

Me being me wanted to just let it slide and take it as it is my fault since I am well, in some way not attentive enough to see those fineprints. I am a fair person and I will admit to my mistakes. Although it looks as much that they tried their very best to hide it, I was ashamed by making an amateur mistake of trusting online sites so easily. I think I got too comfortable with online shopping.

We did not let it slide because my buddy Melva felt that it is unfair to hide it and after multiple angry emails, we managed to get it refunded in streetdollars which means I had to shop with them AGAIN!

I was served with "Fun coupons".

5. Gave up and Shop Again. 

I hate such tiring procedure and I thought since I have $88 credit back I might as well just spend it and call it a day but guess what?

I WASN'T ALLOWED TO SHOP UNTIL I CLICK THE SAME TnC AGAIN!! So once again I emailed them and they told me I can only buy non premium and non flash sale item.

How much more trouble must I go through for this like seriously!! I am seriously very tired and all I want to do is do some shopping.

6. The Rant 

Keyboard warrior at my best lah. So I rant on my Facebook page of course.

And I gotten many comments within my friends that they also encountered the same and some what similar issues over the last 2-3 years until today. And also the attention of ST.

7. Google Before You Buy 

I think this must be one of the greatest reminder. What happened to the very alert and vigilant me. I got soft over the years of living in peace of online shopping. I Should have googled them before I did my purchase! There are so many of such reported cases online about them and I simply miss everything!!





They were even on Yahoo some years ago and they are still operating now. You know what does that means? It means that CASE can't do anything to them. It means that the law can't do anything to them. Why? My best guess is simply because in the forms, we did checked the TnC that we kinda acknowledge everything. So, yes, I guess we have to pay the price for being careless.

According to the interview with ST they seem to have to answer to careless people like me pretty often. So I hope everyone read this and be more careful and do not trouble them anymore by asking them to refund and all.


So I guess it is my bad and I hope everyone stay alert for anything online. READ ALL THE TnC!

In fact, just shop at Taobao for all your needs. And also if you are interested in comments of this post.

StreetDeal customer bought a set of drum sticks on sale for $16.40, but was charged an additional $88 for 'premium membership'. str.sg/ZhPS

Meanwhile if you are free you can check out my friend's post about being savy shopping online!


UPDATED 18 Aug: More links for your reading pleasure