HEY SETH 2020

Hey Seth,

It's your father again!

Every time when I sit down and pen down such open letters to you, I try my best to imagine how would it be like for you to be reading this 1 day when I am long gone. Will you be reading this in tears? Will you be reading it at all? Will this blog even be around?

Why this random thought? Something big happened in 2020, one of the greatest NBA players of all time, Kobe Bean Bryant passed away in a helicopter crash. Not only was he one of the greatest of all time, but he was also one of my idols. I love him not simply because he was good on the court but he was also great off the court. I guess like many other fans of Kobe out there, we love him because of his work ethics. Something that he is known for and will always be remembered for. His Mamba Mentality.

Mamba 4 Life.

While it was sad that he passed away in such a tragic manner, what makes it even more tragic was that his daughter was in the same accident.

I imagined the scenes before the crash. I tried. I put myself in his shoes. The kind of pain that he went through before his death. Not by the crash, not by the fire, but because of the fact that it was out of his control to save his daughter. The kind of helplessness is something no one should ever go through in their life.

"NO SHIT! WE ARE GOING DOWN DAD!!"

"It's okay baby! It's going to be okay."

"Daddy I'm scared!"

"It's okay baby... We are going to sur......BOOM!"

I cannot imagine going through that. I never want to.

How did this happen to a man of his greatness? The kind of role model he was both on and off the court. The number of lives he had touched. The number of people he inspired.

I was telling your mother this just a few weeks ago,

"You know, I love you, I love my mum, I love my brother, I love a lot of other things. The love for my child (you) is something different. It might sound very much like a cliche or overly dramatic, but it is a feeling that I have never felt if not for Seth. The kind of love, responsibility, and guilt. While I am strict with Seth, I never ever want to disappoint him at all in the slightest manner. I just can't look at him when he feels down. I really want to do to the best of my ability to provide for him and to protect him."

Our annual CNY pic

And then the tragic accident of Kobe Bryant happened.

I might sound like a broken record at this time but I just can't wrap my head around this. It had been a week since but I was still not feeling done with feeling sad. If I ever disappoint you or fail to protect you in the near future, please know that it is probably unintentional.

1 of the many episodes of #SethStrikesAgain

The year 2019 - 2020 was a great year for us. You were growing up fine. You were able to verbalize your emotions and needs. You were so witty. You were saying things that made the Internet went wild. You were the star of #SethStrikesAgain.

We soon decided to give you one of your greatest presents/pains (We will find out) in the early part of your life – a brother. Your mum got pregnant. She spent most of her days and nights rolling on the bed feeling sluggish. We did most of the activities in 3s before your mum's pregnancy. Things were different since she got pregnant due to her condition.

We started going out together, just the two of us. We had quality conversations. You asked me tons and tons of questions. You were a very curious kid. You wanted to know everything. You were great with your 5Ws and 1H. I got annoyed once in a while but I still tried my best to answer everything I could. I do not want you to stop being curious. I wanted you to bring this attitude with you. I wanted you to be hungry, and be brave.

This was also the year that I started a few new practices with you. I wonder how long these traditions went on for.

1. We had our very own handshake. You loved every second of it. You would run to me every time I came home and shout at me, "PAPA HANDSHAKE!" You were a very creative child. You always built on my ideas with your own. You suggested great ideas. You were the one who added some extra steps to our handshake.

2. We started this whole "one story" practice. I would come home and tell you something that happened to me at work or in my social life. While you did not fully understand everything, you would always ask questions. I like it not just because we were talking a lot but it was also for the fact that it was an opportunity for me to teach you things with context.

The little things you enjoyed in life. Taking the bus and train with me.

3. We started writing a diary together. Of course, you were not exactly one of those kids that were patient enough to practice your writing. I started the diary to get you interested in writing numbers, introducing to you the concept of dates. I also wanted you to be able to tell stories. If there is one thing that I have learned over the years in my line of work, it is that the ability to communicate and tell a story is a skill that is highly sought after. I wished that you would grow to like storytelling just like me. You enjoyed filling up your diary with little drawings that we did together. You would always come to me before the end of the night and tell me, "Papa, I want to do diary with you before I sleep okay?"

4. This year was also the year that we started you on video games. You loved it. I was very much against screen time but I always wanted you to have better hand and eye coordination. You weren't exactly a kid with great psychomotor skills. You would walk on flat ground and still managed to fall flat on your nose. However, you soon got addicted and wanted to play it every day. However, you were a great kid too. You will stop when I made you. That was probably the saving grace. You were a very special child. Other kids would play a game of racing and want to win by being first but you would try to knock other cars in the race and laugh at it despite losing the game. You would tell me that it is more fun this way. You always do things your way.

5. This was also the year that we gave you your own room and tried to get you to get used to sleeping alone. It wasn't easy at all. It was a very very painful change for all of us. Your mother implemented this system that you were only allowed to sleep with us on weekends. You still were not too good with those days and you would ask us every night, "Mama, tonight I sleep with you?"

You will also notice by now that I missed a year of this. I can't exactly remember why I missed it. I am not too sure what happened either. I guess 2018-2019 was not exactly the best year for me and I was not writing much.

For what is worth, 2019-2020 was a great one for both of us. Besides this post, I also did this post about me choosing to work late as well as this one about my take on education and my expectation for you on Unscrambled, a site that I contributed articles to on a regular basis.

Finally, I really hope you get to read some of these articles when you are of age and enjoys it as much as I enjoyed writing them.