Guide to #soloparenting for newbie Dads

Seth is 2ish and he understands most commands and at the same time able to say what he wants and how he is feeling so it's actually not THAT difficult. It was really quite an interesting experience considering that this is kinda the first time the wife went away after he became a toddler. The last time when the wife was away, he was just a baby and it was much easier to manage cause you just have to put him there and that's about it.

Many have also asked me why didn't we make take trip together with the wife or why didn't my wife just bring lil Seth along. I mean she deserves her holiday as well and also because I really can't stand traveling during June and December because of the peak pricing as well as noisy kids on plane. :x

I'm no child whisperer and I feel that Seth is a pretty well disciplined kid on a whole so I think I got it rather easy. That being said, below are some pointers that I wish to share with every dad out there, young or old. Do feel free to let me know if you have additional tips or if I did anything wrong! We are all in it together (sounds wrong but okay can.)

1. Get him mentally prepared

Just a random picture of him.

Don't drop the bomb on him that mum is going to be away for a week all out of a sudden. We started explaining to him what is going to happen and how long is mummy going to be away. He might not really have an understanding of number of days but at least let him know that certain activities that he usually does with mummy is going to be disrupted. For Seth it is mostly bed time. So bed time is going to be just daddy and him alone.

2. Plan your schedule 

It's not just about him but it's also about yourself. If you ain't going to plan your day properly it might be a little crazy. He goes to school during the usual weekday office hours. So the extra duty for me is really to ensure that he goes to school on time and comes home in one piece. The sending of Seth to school is usually done by my wife. With that duty on me now, it means that I've to plan my day to ensure everything goes according to plan. I would have to wake up earlier, end my work day earlier and I've to plan everything ahead of time.

3. Plan activities for him 

#OOTD

The easiest way for dads to take care of children is always TV and iPads but my wife and I are quite strict on this. We do give him a little of TV time each day but strictly no iPads. Which means I've to ensure that I've something for him to do each day. This is pretty much the same on weekdays since it's part of the routine. What is a little different is on weekends when it's just the both of us. Not to lie, I don't think I can spend 8-10hrs with him alone in a room. He drives me a little crazy with his silly questions and unlimited energy sometimes. Make it all the time.

4. Get help! 

erm... I don't mean getting another gf to help or something hor. Before I get flamed, this girl's bf was also there and behind me. LOL. 

No shame in that. We ain't no LeBron James so it's really not important that we have to do it alone to prove anything. I mean I've a helper that helps with most of the other daily chores but I mean get help from friends. I'm lucky because my crew are big fans of Seth. So I planned some outings together with the boys and girls and even got them over to play with them while I get to rest a little or even watch TV. That's what friends are for!

5. Meals

Hungry during outings? Always order his meal before ordering your own to avoid having to eat two meals. And also just in case he didn't like what he ordered.

This is one of the biggest headaches for me. I mean my helper do cook his meals most of the time but for those who do not have a helper at home it can be very challenging. The easy way out is to order a pizza for both of you but it ain't going to happen for the whole period of time. The easiest way out is to get your parents or in-laws to cook dinner. I mean do not say "eh mother you cook ah!", that's just rude. Tell them "MUMMY! I'm bringing your grandson home to have dinner with you and spend some quality time!" TAR DAR! 2 birds 1 stone. Filial son and awesome dad that provides good food to your son!

6. Staying with Granny 

Seth loves his Granny aka my mum. He has always wanted to sleep over but we haven't really tried it because we really have no clue how he will adapt to staying at someone else's house without us. So it was a good chance for me to try out since the wife is not around. It's also a good way to let me go party, get drunk, go crazy, and be single for one night work late at night. It's a good way to let him try to adapt to a different environment and not rely too much on us and at the same time give us some time out if you are not used to spending too much time alone with your child. I know that sounded wrong but I'm sure many parents feel that way all the time that their kids can be a little overwhelming but too shy to say it out loud on the internet because they don't wanna be labelled as bad parents. Call a spade a spade, everyone needs some alone time to balance their own mental state. And now that we are clear that he is fine with staying with Granny, it also means that more date nights for you and your wife in the future.

7. Don't have too much fun 

I know probably most mums will be throwing things at me for this but the dads will agree and also deep down, the mums probably know it's true. Women are almost always jealous. You should have fun with your son but you must make sure that your son's favourite person is still his mum. Always try to catch her on Facetime, Skype, or whichever video call. Rehearse with your child and make sure he/she will say "MAMA I MISS YOU!". It's not trickery, it's just managing the relationship. I know it's contradicting that your wife needs you to look after the child but at the same time cannot have too much fun but hey, as a married man you should know what you signed up for. If it ain't contradicting and complicated, it ain't women we are talking about.

I hope my points above can help you with your struggle fun time with your child. I actually had a lot of fun dealing with lil Seth alone. It brought us a lot closer and I really enjoy those silly conversations we have as father and son. For example this. #okaycan