4-word saddest story: Chao Blogger Editon

It was one of those night that I was feeling a little bored and I posted this on my Facebook.

117 sad stories. How sad is your life?

That was almost a month ago. And we fast forward until today and the trend got picked up and smart community managers also added a spin to it!

Happy stories with food! 

And of course, our mothership (literally the mothership of local sites these days. This site is growing massive!) came out with an article of 4-word sad story for singapore journalist!  So my friend Flora was like "Smith, you should totally do a blogger edition!" I was like, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

4-WORD SADDEST STORY!

This is a PS1 Memory Card, if you know this, your life is awesome. I am sure this happened to many of us. Took memory card out to extract images but did not put memory card back and only found out the next event. With the help of WiFi function, this problem is happening less but still, always check before you attend an event!

One of those nonstop topics. Fake Followers. Be it on Twitter on Instagram. Some might have purchased them while some might just be unlucky and got infested with bots. We will never know the answer but it is sad to know that your so call fame is fake.

This is a sad story either way. Good Content and No Boobs so nobody reads it or Good Content and Got Boobs but still nobody reads it because they just visit your blog to look at your boobs and no idea what you have written. meh

This is one of those things that I do not understand. PR, Friends or some random people that you meet for the 1st time at some event feel oblige to tell us that they have read our blog. When asked about which article or about what, they have no clue. Truth is nobody reads your blog. Okay, now I am not sure which is sadder.

Just because we are bloggers and we get "freebies" for review and testing, we do pay for our own stuff. We do pay for food, trips, cloths and stuff like everyone else. So this is really sad especially when you keep hearing it over and over and over again!

So after you get a bit of attention from the internet, people start to get in touch with you and offers you advertorial and paid project. It is all good but when they put it in this way - "what is your rate". That just makes me feel like a whore.  But that is still not the worst...  WAIT FOR IT....

Some potential clients are major assholes(Yes I said it). They like to ask for rates, ask what we can do, timeline and everything but come back with they have no money and hoping to get a free post. Not even a sponsored post or a barter trade. Purely asking for a free post. I mean we do write for free for different reasons but it doesn't make sense at all that I write a post that has commercial value to your business but I get nothing in return. AND IF YOU HAVE NO BUDGET, WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVATION TO ASK IN THE 1ST PLACE? What were they hoping to get out of it seriously.

Okay, nothing much to explain for this one.

Just in case my post is not sad enough, here's a really sad song.

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Singapore's Best Bloggers

So recently one of my favourite blogger that became some sort of a news site wrote this article about top bloggers based on SimilarWeb Stats. And after that, a food blogger also wrote about it and even make sure it keeps up to date and updates it frequent enough. My guess is that they are not the 1st and will not be the last to write such articles.

Previously there were some other sites that talk about stats based on Alexa ranking etc as well.

Why? To tell people they are on the list of course!

So I did my part and share my thought about being on top (yeah, not everyone likes it on top but.. nvm) and also how sad I did NOT make any of the lists.

Back in time old skool post 1 

Back in time old skool post 2 

To be honest, I have no idea what I wrote in the last 2 articles.

Being sour and sad I will say things like numbers are not everything. Although I am a believer that there are more than just numbers, it is undeniable that I said it feeling all sad and tears rolling out at the corner of my eyes.

Someone once told me that stats can be orchestrated while good content cannot. There are many other reasons that one blog can get many clicks but such is life. We are so numbers orientated. It is not just you or me but it happens to everyone. We can click on an instagram and assume that this person is famous as he/she has over 100k followers but at the same time wonder what happened as their pictures ain't that nice.

Numbers has always been important. Since middle earth days.

Same thing when I clicked onto some blogs and I fall asleep almost immediately but apparently very searchable content and good click bait titles. Maybe, maybe not, maybe I am just sour again.

So, yes, numbers ain't everything but it is always good to have numbers isn't it? Well that is fact about things being tangible and how people can calculate their return of investment easier.

We always want to make sure we pay for the right returns.

Of course, besides number, we also have awards by different organisations, be it a one time thing or an annual affair to find out who are the "best" bloggers in each field. That includes the upcoming OMY Blog awards which I was lucky enough to be included as one of the award winners last year. Thus making this blog, one of the many "award-winning blogs". (Seriously, this title is really overkill).

So to end it once and for all and stop all arguments...  My buddy Melva and Rayman decided to bring peace to the realm and name me king of the north...

SINGAPORE'S BEST BLOGGER

And it comes with a card with very *cough* nice hand writing.

So very sweet lah this two person. Knows that I like very impractical stuff that makes me laugh and stroke my ego at the same time. So you see, all it matters is that you are the best in the eye of those that you care right? #DidntWinSoSaySuchThingsLor

So ya... I AM THE BEST!

YOU CAN BE THE BEST!! - Hall Of Fame.

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Why I No Longer Attend Blogger Events

When I talk about "event" I mean like Media Event and Parties. Like being "happening". We always look very happening for the 5 secs for the picture but actually most of the time we were just looking into our phone twitting, updating Facebook and all.

Looking fancy and all cool on social media to tell people like "hey~~ my weekend is cooler than yours"

Don't get me wrong. I mean event was fun. Especially like when you get to attend beauty event with 10,000 other beauty bloggers and they are all female.

And most of the times you get to go places that people don't get to go and meet famous people.

Not to mentioned booze, booze and you get to make new awesome friends. You don't even know when the friendship will escalate until you can meet her without makeup and all. And also sometimes some interesting work opportunities.

Despite all these perks and all it seems that I haven't been attending event much and I am getting questioned about these 1 time too often these days.  "Eh, you going this event or not" "How come I never see you there" etc etc. So below are my replies. I don't wish to sound like diva or cocky so if I do in this post, I am not sorry. :X (kidding lah. I am sorry.) 

1. Readers Are Bored With Event Stories 

We go lancing lancing and meet new people. Photo by William I think. 

It was a cool and shiny new toy. For awhile. Readers were entertained by the fact that we can go to events and do cool things. They find that the things we do are interesting and they want to grow up and be like us. I mean also attend the event when it is open to public but these days I find that, or at least for my readers, events blog post are getting very little attention. Partly because these days everyone(events and product) build their own media in terms of their own FB pages, own Instagram where mass audience can find information easily on official accounts instead of having the need to read it off a blog.

2. Events are getting too predictable 

Attend event and found my long lost younger brother.

Events can get a bit too predictable these days. I am not saying because they are boring but events are very costly. To make things worst, I have been in the industry for almost 9 years now. Not just attending event but event planning as well. Nothing impresses me more than the fact that I can be in my boxers at home in front of my PS4 these days. I can recite a typical event flow with my eye closed, drunk and balancing two bottles on my shoulders but I shall not bore you with the details. But you get my point.

3. Age Gap 

Just a random event photo. These people also not very young.

Besides the fact that I am growing old. It is inevitable that we get young people into the field year after year. The topics we talk about are different and we are just mostly different people from different part of our lives with different ideology about things and blogging. Given an event is a short period of time and very likely I might not even see you again because you drop off the whole blogging thing as you can't get freebies anymore, so we might not see each other again and I find it very tiring to pretend like I am involved in a conversation with you. (generally you, not exactly you. Don't get offended pls)

I might have shared this story 1 time too many but I got people asking me at event about how to get better readership, how to get more sponsors, how to become famous instead of how to write good content. Maybe because they find me as a very popular "celebrity" over a talented man. Both not true. Okay. I shall go back and cry now.


4. I am married 

Do I sound like I am complaining? NoooooOOoOoOooOOo.. Just in case. I am not. Being married means 2 become 1 (I bet you are humming the tune) where you don't just manage your time. You have to manage two individual's time. Those and also because when you are married, it doesn't give you a lot of ROI to go to event and hit on girls anymore. So events gotten way way way less fun when you are off the market and should not be hitting on girls. And also because (everyone knows I am married. It was on the papers.) too many girls out there knows my wife thus she has a lot of eyes watching me.

5. I have nothing to wear 

I'm not even kidding.

This is legit. When you go event you need to respect the event and also look nice but suiting up is not funny in Singapore. And also sometimes you are very worried about overdressing or underdressing especially with invites that says stupid things like "SMART CASUAL". I mean smart is who I am and how I look. So casual is like flip flop and slippers to me. A shirt and pants don't make me smart, it makes me look formal and stupid. So smart casual is like polo t-shirt and pants? That makes me an uncle unless I am tiger woods.

6. Lazy 

Meeting cool bros and doing funny things together. 

Lazy like really lazy. Lazy to dress up, lazy to drive out on weekend, lazy to find parking, lazy to go and entertain and lazy to blog there after. It is true. This has to be the bottom of all reasons. Sometimes I am actually very interested in the event or product that is gonna be launched but going to find out a product which is like 20mins I need to travel 1hr two ways, I need to talk to people and go through some programs that I have no interest and pretend to smile for camera for 3hrs. Not even sure if I'm lazy or I'm being calculative with my time. So sometimes it really works better if you send me release, send me product and I will tell if you I need to visit your place if I want to do a story or feature.

7. Budget Cut, no event 

This is the kinda event I really liked. Many pretty girls and got famous people. #Practical 

As practical as it sounds I believe it is true and it may actually be for the better. Many clients felt that wining and dining the bloggers leave them with very low returns. No doubt they do gain a lot of intangibles like brand image etc and more importantly a close relation with certain key influencers but it is just not enough for some or even most of them. You really have to see the objective of the event, where you are standing, what is your product etc. I am not saying that all events are pointless or low in ROI

To paint a better picture let me give you some example which can be a little long.

For example,

A decent event launch you will need host, decor, FnB, goodie bag, event team, sound system, PR notes, program etc will easily drop a bomb on you from 5 - 20k. If this budget comes out from a bigger PR budget where you get to invite key investors, other business partners and then bloggers might be a good thing cause your dollars are spread across the people but if you are doing it only for bloggers you might get a low return especially with drop out rates.

For those interested, typically if you want to have 20 bloggers at an event, you will send invite to a good 50-40 pax. (Unless your event is like event of the life or you are very close to them) with maybe 30 pax showing interest and only 20 pax eventually RSVP-ed. 10 of them might not turn up and out of the 10 who turned up, maybe only 4 will give you a post on time, 2 with IG or late post and other 4 just gone into the air.

With the work and logistics and what not, for the convenience of calculation, maybe you spent 4k on the event and that basically means each post cost you $1,000 which is way more expensive than a sponsor post to most bloggers unless you are talking XX, LIC, DFD etc.

You do the math.

8. Not Famous Enough. No Invite 

I mean there's nothing much to explain here. Just me being not famous enough cause ROI too low and also maybe I don't fit the product or party. But I am happy cause I can spend time at home slacking playing my game or play some ball with my Half Court Heroes. 

You should still invite me. 

To be honest, I am not saying NO to everything. i still attend event where I get to hangout with some of the familiar faces which sadly rarely happens these days. Some became mother while some just fall off the grid entirely.

You should still invite me so that I can reject you because there are still some events that get me interested.

For example, recently I attended the launch of the Huawei P8 which I totally should do a review but I am procrastinating. I really want to share with you about the phone because it is pretty cool and also because I left early from the event and went and meet Jac and my Wife. Thus not able to tell you how fun it was on the boat ride they actually did for the guests! : X

Anyway, so if I offended you in anyway because going events is like your calling and you need to be at every event invite, invited or not. I am very sorry. So are you still a big fan?

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Should Blogging Be Regulated in Singapore?

If you are reading this blogpost you are probably a blogger or someone in the industry because I believe not many people from the mass audience actually bother about my blog especially when I'm not talking about sex or leaked pictures but about "work".

Anyway, no thanks to the drama between GushCloud (GC) and our TyreQueen (XX) during Xmas, many from the mass audience has raised their eyebrows on us bloggers/influencer/instagrammer/youtuber or whatever you like to call it. Many started questioning about the importance of using online influencers, the effectiveness of using online influencers like us, does it really help the business, are we really that "famous", are our reach real, are we legit and do we need more rules and regulations or even some gahment body to be watching us?

In a discussion on 938LIVE, Gushcloud co-founder Althea Lim said she hoped to work with industry partners to perhaps put together a panel and create guidelines that govern the use of advertorials on blogs that are "respected by all". Blogger Xiaxue said this "sounds good".  From Article: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/gushcloud-co-founder-and/1577196.html

So what does it means to be talking about having "guidelines" that govern the use of advertorials on blogs? Who should be experienced enough to say what is wrong or what? What are some of the consequences we are looking at?

Are we looking at having a sort of Justice League or The Avengers? Or are we looking at a "king"? I am going to be creative and think of some questions here. Please do not take me seriously like these are going to happen. (ok, fine, nobody ever takes me seriously)

1. Who should fall under these rules?

Bloggers that take in advertorial work. Meaning to say "commercial bloggers". In order to clearly state that such rules are governing certain specific group of people, does that means that in order to be a "commercial blogger" one has to be registered? So instead of ACRA registration for businesses, all bloggers need to have a registered license? Just like how a tour guide need to get a license to guide as well as taxi driver to get a license to ferry people?

2. License 

With this license in place, are we looking at a simple license application or are we looking at a test? Should there be a school in order for a test like tour guides and taxi drivers? If it is just a simple application, that means everyone can apply for it as well? What makes one approved? Your blog stats? Your content type? Or simply base on approval of this new department? Is it going to be a yearly renewal license or life time? What if you are a blogger but not registered but being approach by a brand or client?

3. Taxes

With proper licensing, are we going to submit a report or tax report to show your earnings each year as a free lance blogger be it with product or monetarily? MONEY!

4. Other Platforms 

So with such rules and regulation for blogs, are we going to have regulation for other platforms as well? Base on the similarities in function, are we going to regulate Twitter? Instagram and even Facebook? With all these regulation, are we human or are we dancer  North Koreans robots?

5. Fines 

Image from http://visualoop.com/

With such rules and regulations, can I safely say that there WILL be a fine for people who fails to follow regulations? I am sure this is putting us onto the world map once again.

6. Who?

So when we talked about "industry partners" and forming a panel, who would be senior enough? No disrespect but NN and GC might be our market leader (some sort) but they are kinda like start up too. So are we looking at bringing in big boys agency? Or are we looking at this falling right under our gahment - IDA? Or are we opening for a pitch which most likely to fall under SPH's umbrella since they are the only most reputable media house and media owner in Singapore. Who own journalism better than our only most read newspapers?

For those who had no idea, there was an attempt of some sort years ago to put this in place which I guess it didn't managed to get much support. Who knows it might get more attention now since we have a problem now and we (kinda) did not back then. Apparently the Association of Bloggers (Singapore) had the foresight and see this coming but lacks of support and once again we are going back into the pattern and routine of being reactive instead.

What do YOU think? 

I tried to do a little search, when I say little I mean very very little like maybe 4-5 different keywords search on google which brings me to almost nothing about any country having such a detailed system for blogging. I mean I believe most country has bigger fish on their plate and also blogging is pretty much a hobby. I guess we paid the price for low crime rate. (and lack of real news)

I also did a little interview with some of our "industry partners" and here's what they say. Name has been edited to protect their identities. 

"What do you think the implications on bloggers will be if the blogging industry were to be governed?"

Is it really needed? 

I might be posting a fair bit of questions here with no answers. Do we need such rules?

How much more complication can this bring in for the already complicated industry? Do they really mean what they say or are they saying this just for the sake of "answering" to the public?

If you ask me, I am not really into this kind of things not because I find it too troublesome but I find it causing too much "stress" for what it could have been just a simply love for writing and sharing.

Not all bloggers are into business making, not all bloggers are trained journalist or marketing person. Of course like I mentioned this rule might not applies to all but with all these in mind I think we are limiting talented writers(if any) to join the industry but the flip side is that we will probably get a better quality control as well.

So will our gahment step in? Will someone take over this under their portfolio? Maybe our MP Baey? Maybe Baey-by? #ofmaybeteoserluck #sincehelikehashtagsomuch #thismpsibeiboleh #mpchallengestomp #andreallytiostomp #ownselfstompsibo #clickhereifudunnowhathappened 

Mr.Smith, serious business siol

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Singapore Blogger That You Should Avoid

How do you say one is fuck up?

Like doing things others ain't?

Or like...

Get email don't reply.

Reply already don't attend

Attend already don't take picture

Take picture also pose like shit

Pose properly already don't edit

Edit already don't blog

Blog also blog like irrelevant much stuff

Irrelevant never mind and still always put sexy pictures of other girls

As if sexy pictures not enough still always talk about Sex

Talks about sex still not the worst, worst is not even funny.

This guy lor

Chao Ah Beng still wanna act one cool. Don't smoke but take picture at smoking point. Poser.

Okay lah... Actually I love myself and I think I am awesome. Just bored and wanted to disturb SEO and Google search words again. LOL.

But I believe there are things we are all guilty of doing once in awhile especially when you start to blog for money and some bloggers are just that unethical.. blah blah blah.. Not fully their fault because nobody ever taught anyone how to be a blogger anyway.  Oh wait, I actually did. And Twice! Actually maybe more..  okay. i just did a search and realized how nagging I am. 

Be happy with what you are doing and if you want to earn money or get something out of it, make sure you are not the only one who is happy because you just traded your happiness to your client for some cash.

Okay bye!

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10 Irritating Questions I get as a Blogger

Inspired by Singapore (so far as I know) only female motor-journalist on her list of FAQ, I decided to do a list of my own too! Doing normal FAQ is kinda boring since I already did one where I gave simple tips about blogging. Instead I'm gonna do one about irritating questions!

1. Is this (product) Sponsored?

I'm so rich I print my currency okay? That's @MinuteManSG

It is true that we get a lot of sponsored items on and off but to be honest we still pay for our food, the things I wear and what not so if it's sponsored I will let you know. So stop asking me if it is sponsored. It gets irritating.

2. You get paid or not? (That's how Singaporeans usually phrase this question)

The man said it, it's true but we do not get paid for every article because writing a blog is not a job but a hobby. Some of the times you do but not always. It's something like sex. Oh wait.. oops.

3. You think you can help me get this for free? (Yet another Singaporean phrasing) 

As the saying goes "there is no free lunch in this world" but I will always say YES! ..... As long as you give me a good free blow job too.

4. Did you get invited for xxxx or not?

"Eh Eh VIP ONLY LAH DEY!" - RIP David Bala

There are three groups of people who ask this very often, 1 - your friends who wants to score an invite so they ask you about it. 2 - people who wants to bring you along. 3 - people who just want to know if they see you there. They all get on my nerves regardless of which because 1. I will not bring you if you asked, if I want to bring you, I would have asked you. 2. I hardly want to go to any party that I need to request for access. 3. If you see me there you will know I am there, knowing before hand ain't gonna change anything unless you have something to pass me. It's very possibly that it is just me being aloof about the whole "let's go together" thingy.

5. How do you find business?

Like my friend says "The driver don't choose the car.."

There's a few ways that "business" happens for bloggers.

1. The client google you.
2. You google the client and email them or FB msg them which I do not really agree with. If you like something buy it unless you have an interesting marketing plan and collaborate.
3. Other bloggers got a deal and share it with you

No, I do not hire telephone operators and do cold calling.

But generally my believe and education is always "Do good at what you like to do and good will find you."

6. You mean you have a full-time job?

Photo and Caption both by Yongwei.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

7. Do you know Xiaxue?

She is so famous of course I know her lah!! Only thing is she doesn't know me(I think). And sorry Sophie.. I had to cover you with my bad photoshop for my friends. HAHA.

8. Since we "friend-friend" can help me blog about this(for free)?

Friends with benefit they say? You probably didn't see this coming but my answer is actually yes. If you followed my blog closely there are actually blog post on and off that I blog with tags like HelpAFriend etc. I mean if it's for good cause or helping SMEs I will always do it. My reach is there and if I can use it to do good, why not? BUT, if you are from some big company and you want me to do something commercial but yet you do not wish to pay...

9. Are you going to blog about this?

Every single time when you have people/friends out with you and they do something silly or stupid, they go "OMG.. THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.. ARE YOU GOING TO BLOG ABOUT IT?" NO. The answer is fucking NO. Nobody cares about how you sneeze while eating noodles and how it came out from your nose.

10. Oh sorry, I think I missed that on your blog

It's not exactly a question but I get this statement a lot. Mostly in scenario where someone is trying to make a conversation about my blog and ask me questions like "what do you blog about", "Did you write about this before" etc etc they will find an obligation to apologise that they miss something on my blog or act like they read it before but miss something. To be honest you do not need to. As much as I like it when people read my blog, I do not hold it against anyone that doesn't (besides my wife). So really, if you do not read, don't be sorry.. cause I really don't care.

Are you a blogger as well? Are these some of the questions you get? How do you answer them and how irritating are these to you? Do you have more silly questions from others? Hope to hear from you too!

Mr.Smith, I usually only ask if their breasts are real.. Who cares about the rest..

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