I think I go through such issues like 30,000 times a day. I have this voice in me telling me things of what to do and I discuss with myself all the time. I never understand why I disagree with myself so much some times. Below is a sample list of some of the things I fight against myself very often.
I need to save money - I want to buy a new PS3, new phone, new camera.
I need to get my driving license - I do not have enough money, i need to save for my wedding.
I am so getting married - I think I want to party.
I am so going party and get drunk - I am not in the mood and just want to stay home today.
I am so staying home today! - I am damn bored at home!!!
I am bored and shall do some work and maybe some new proposal - I am lazy and I shall rest since it's weekend.
I shall so go to the gym or out of the house since it's weekend! - I am really lazy, maybe I should just stay in and pack my room.
My room is too messy, I shall pack it. - I think i shall watch some Dvds first.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!
I think I am going crazy.
Anyway I was also talking to myself about all this wedding preparation thing. before talking about all the "event" preparation, I still am not too sure how "ready" I am. I want her, I love her but yet I am very worry about not having space in between us. I am still very worry about days that I have to work late or entertain people or go to event and I have to leave her at home all alone. I want to go home and spend time with her but yet I am very worry that I will bored her up spending too much time together. I can imagine us having a good evening at home , just the two of us wit my two kitties and having a nice home cooked meal whip up by me but I can also imagine the problem we going to have on who to mop the floor and clear the dishes after the nice meal. There are too much uncertainty I am facing at this point of time and I don't think anyone can make me feel better about this whole thing other than myself. I know many people who are happily married but on the other hand I also know many people who just surviving in a marriage or worst, falling out of it. Is this pre-wedding stress? There are so much responsibility one is going to pick up and seriously how do people go through this?
I know it's silly to be thinking about such shit at this point of time. Not just because we are engage but it is because I know I am a very Lucky guy to find a girl like her. Especially when I am who I am. I am not the best guy out there although I think I am not too bad either. HAHA. What can I say other than the fact that I am lucky I am in love with my best friend?
Mr.Smith, I think I just need some
0 comments:
Post a Comment