The 10 Friends We All Have

It is never easy to make friends less say keeping them. The biggest problems about friendship is that everyone has different expectation from friends. Some expect your to always be there as friends, we need to honour trust, loyalty and whatever not code but to some, friends are just people we have in a social life and we can live with or without them. Inspired by recent events I thought I wanna talk about some friends we all have!

The dream friendship that everyone wished for. 

1. The Leech 
maybe also the one that sucks

I wish I could tell you that it is true that I've a friend that gives me a good blow job everytime I wanted it but I can't Because I am married and my wife might not be too happy because I do not have one. The truth of the leech is the one that always comes out and will tell you "sorry no money" Will never offer to buy any thing and even if she or he did they will probably say something like forget sorry.

The one that pinch on your food from your table, go out on a party or dinner and purposely say do not want to order because no money but say yes because people will say "nevermind lah, just order, we pay for you 1st", and start to post his or her "want" list during birthday period and hope you get for them.

Worst is he or she will actually be seen traveling, buying other gadgets at the end of the year. They ain't bad friend as long as you are rich enough, they can be the best of friends and listen to you and have fun together but they can seriously play the pitiful card and leech your moolah.

2. The Han "Solo" 

This is han solo, we love this friend. He is cool, he is fun and he is the one person we can chat all night and tell him or her everything but the biggest problem is that he doesn't hangout well with anyone else. This person might be a little awkward in a group or just has very low EQ, whichever but basically this person's problem is that you only hangs out with him/her alone.

I am not sure about you guys but I love to mix my friends and show my friends my other cool friends but we all have this "Solo" friend that you can only meet him/her for drinks alone.

3. The one we all have no idea why we are still friends 

This friend of ours deserves a high 5... with a chair... in his face... He/she sucks. He/she gets under your skin every time they talk. Everything they do piss me off, meeting them makes night longer than anything but we still meet up because we are from a same clique or because they are your friends' partner. Seriously the most painful "friend" anyone can get and not able to just cut them off.

4. The one who does all the Selfies 

Because long arms are long and according to the internet, men who take selfies are psycho. I do not agree.

it's always good to have them around because there will always be memories left on the internet. Even those where you regretted.

5. The "I'm on my way"

That phone call probably went down like this,

"oie, we all reached liao. Where are you?"
"oh, sorry sorry, on the way.."

And your this person probably only reach in another 30 mins and the truth was "on the way... (to brush my teeth). Getting laid is cool but having to wait for late comer is not so cool. Don't you miss the days where we do not have mobile phone and everyone is always on time because we need to wait at the phone booths at Bedok interchange at the specific time.

6. The one that always jio

This is my favourite friend because they will always "jio" everyone out. I can be very lazy and passive when it comes to meeting up especially ever since I shifted into my own place where I just wanna lie around at home in my boxers and watch TV or play video games. It is this kinda friend that keep my social life going, asking us out, creating social event for the clique and make sure we stay connected. Thanks for being the best type of friends!

7. The one that always go "BO JIO" 

This meme will never be famous if not for these askhole. Not even sure if we purposely do not wanna jio them or just that we really always forgotten about them but they are always there at almost every picture or check-in waiting to reply "#BoJIO". You might feel bad at 1st or this might even be funny for a start but after awhile you be like...

So ya, fuck you understand?

8. The Special Phone Call Guy - also the insurance agent,  property agent, MLM, getting married want your ang bao, son birthday want your ang bao, wanna borrow money, knows you are a blogger and wants free blog post guy.

The good thing about technology is that all our good friends are just 1 text or 1 phone call away but the bad thing is that our bad friends are also 1 text or 1 phone call away. Friends should always scratch each other's back without a doubt but this type of friends are seriously the virus of all friendsheep. (meh)

I've had this very bad experience with a "friend" that I have not met for years. He gave me a call and told me is a lunch catch up with everyone from yesteryear. When I drop a text to the rest, I actually found out that nobody knew about this so call catch up. Lucky for me to find out the truth before going down and rejected him. I heard another common friend didn't check and got cheated down to a session where it's only two of them and he sat and listen to a 2 hours long sales pitch about some magical product that can help him earn money. #TrueStory

9. The one who got away

Most of us probably have 1, 2 or more ex relationships as well as ex friendship but the later sounded a little weird but yet true and painful. We were like Superman and Lois Lane when things were good. We spent time together, we talk on phone, we wore the same watch and we call ourselves brothers from another mother which make my dad sounds like an asshole but we didn't care.

We have everything under our feet and we thought things will never change. We planned about being each others' best man and I want to marry my son to your daughter but things don't always go according to plan.

The one friend that we didn't imagine losing and we didn't even imagine that we do not and will not even speak of that name with anyone else anymore. The most painful memory. It can be argument of any form or even be because your partners just do not like them. It's a painful memory.

I had to camouflage my face you wouldn't see me anymore.

10. The Wrong Timing

One of my favourite quote from HIMYM. This usually happens between friendsof an opposite gender (most of the time). You guys are better than good and it's not a daily thing that people will ditch their partner for someone else they just met along the way or maybe the "window" (for those of you who ain't familiar with this term, check out How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 10) just ain't right and things just never ever happened. That being said, being best friends and being partners ain't always the same so this friend is also known as the mayor of friendzone. We all know that things could be different someday in some other universe but too bad, not this one, at least not this one that we know.

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It might not be international friendship day yet but I want to take this chance to thank all of you for being my friend and accepting me for who I am. Else, Fuck you. 

here's one song Chinese KTV Kakis will sing especially when we are all drunk. LOL.