What is Love? ( Sex and the city inspired post)

Nope, it's not one of those typical sex post of mine and neither is it one of the other 21983071095413 sex and the city 2 movie review but I must say it in a way that it is sex and the city inspired.

For the longest time that sex and the city has been around, I have never thought of touching the show until last night. I have no idea what I was missing out. Seriously. I got my hands on part 1 in less than 12 hrs and I finish it and my mind is on SATC the serial.

Never mind about that, coming back to the real topic. There are a few values of love and lies in sex and the city 2 and dinner "date" with my buddy @keongsterz today actually put me thinking about love once again.

Is love what everyone is seeking for in a relationship and does love always exist at every point of a relationship ? Many couples worry about their relationship slipping into the comfortable and boring zone while on the other hand many couples didn't even worry about that simply cause it never happen. So does love exist when you are in the comfy zone? My answer is yes. In fact that love is one which needs to be prepared, fermented and preserved. It's love at it's most mature stage. It's not love at it's purest or the most sexy stage I must admit. For a man to be in love with the same woman for the last 8 years of his life. Trust me. Love exist.

Comparing the 1st time when you met her, the 1st time where you feel that love is in the air and the 1st time you kiss her with how you all kiss each other now before going to work, going to bed and before sex, how you meetup with your partner everyday for lunch and dinner. I am sure the feelings are a little different but can we conclude that the love is no longer in the air? NO. I put it in a way that there are different kinda love at different stage of a relationship.

I am not suggesting that which kind of love is better than the other but there are a little different that's all.

I am pretty sure that the starting kinda love is the part which everyone love the most. The part when we 1st met each other, how we start to know each other and explore each other ( not physically) a little more, how we miss the company. This is the part where I call it the Frictional love. Frictional love IS love but it is not "True" love. This kinda love is being blinded by excitement, the fun element and curiosity. Why do I use such a harsh word as "blinded" is simply because at this stage of love, you are the most forgiving. Frictional love is very short for some couples while a little longer for some but there are methods to keep this frictional extended a little.

Frictional love is also the reason why many couple fall in love so fast and got out of it so fast as well. This is the point where everything is the sweetest and you feel like that's life and that's all you ever wanted. It's like a new addiction to your life.This also brings me to the point where I always tell guys and girls that when we are dating a new girl we do not drag too long to ask for his/her hand. If you can't "close the deal" during the frictional love period you will very soon cross the line and fall into the "brotherly" love zone which leaves you with no choice. It's a road of no return.

And not to mention, frictional is actually the biggest relationship killer where man/woman fall in frictional love with another party comparing to their own current long relationship(which I will look into it in depth in the next paragraph) and shingz ! The rest are history lo !!

After filtering and eliminating some of the frictional love, we know each other better and we know a lil more true colors after awhile. At this point of time the love evolves into a stage I call "Love". Not the true love yet but this is the stage when love is at it's test. This is also the point where many couples start to worry if eating the same food everyday will make them just another boring couple. This is the point where you enjoy the company but you are worry there's a lack of passion. One of the common question you ask yourself at this point is "If this is the dick or pussy I am going to spend the rest of my life with". You start to miss your frictional time and this is the part of the relationship which is the most unstable one. Argument, expectation, misunderstanding, temptation are all the devil which will lotter around for you. This is the part where most relationship falls a part.

Remember how I told you I have the remedy to prolong the frictional love? One of the remedy is to play the "will you marry me card" It puts everything onto a different level, planning the wedding, getting the correct gown, choosing which friend to bring and calculating the budget. No doubt that there will be lots and lots of argument in the process but I am sure you find the fun part and doing things together is always the best part of a r/s. I know there are lots of people who are very worry to commit themselves into a marriage, seriously I too have that fear. It's no joke waking up next morning and every other morning with a (same) woman beside you until the end of time. But on the good note, you are "officially" a non-virgin in your parents eye. You do not have to explain those condoms, at least not to your mum anymore. ( but you have lot more to explain to the wife if that's not her favorite flavour."

And than we go into the "Structural" or "Mature" love relationship where a lot of couple fear. We are going to do the routine, blah blah blah and we are having sex the same way on the same bed in the same position, I am talking to you while you are watching the TV, I need sex but you are too tired, we eat the same take away dinner everyday. So is that it? NOO ! of course not, just when you thought the worst part about pulling through the "Love" part was over you are into this whole mature love thing. Yes, more work need to be done before you guys fall into the norm where you no longer call your wife "darling" or "dear" and before you know it you are calling him/her "papa" or "mama" along with your kid. Isn't that a disaster ? Not yet I say ! I have yet to touch on how many times you have sex a week or maybe to put it in better perspective months ! ouch ! And ladies, let me say this out for all man in the world, do not , I repeat DO NOT take it as the man's responsibility to work on this part cause this relationship and this love and vow we have made together belows to both of us/you guys. We make things happen. Finding new things to do and giving new meaning to everything we do. Although scary to think about but it's actually pretty comfortable to live in it, at least you do not need to always be on your best performance just to impress the other party. You are just you, the most comfortable part of your life. Seriously !

Did you notice how I talk about this 3 different kinda love , "Frictional Love", "Love" as in just love and "Mature Love". What happen to the legendary true love? Let me give you the equation.

True Love = Frictional Love + Love + Mature Love.

Yes, true love is more than just a period of time where you feel it, true love is a journey for 2 person and this journey is unique to everyone. True needs lots of hard work and commitment to maintain.

Are you a winner and a fighter to fight for true love?