Not many of the people around me (especially the ladies) believe that I am a person who is attached for 8 yrs ( in a row) and the woman in my life is the only Girl Friend I ever had. I do not blame them for raising the eyebrow on me since I am always the lips like sugar kinda guy where I go around telling people how I love them, how I miss them and every other girl is known as dear, darling and sweetie.
I am not boasting or trying to prove how great I am with the ladies but rather how good am I and how good the lady is to me. Yes, the lady non other than my GF aka Ah Dum ~
Ah Dum and I go way back since 2002 ( I'm sure you know the math) and we meet thanks to me not studying. I repeated my poly yr 1 sem 2 and thus she is a year younger than me. Guan Yin Ma is really nice to me, although I study the 3.5 yrs of Poly Education I actually got a discount off army. I served 2 yrs while my friends who went in half a year earlier than me served 2.5 yrs of NS. = P
So what's the secret you are asking me ? Seriously I do not have a very very specific answer cause I do not buy her expensive things, I do not tell her how pretty she is all the time, I do not spend all my time with her and neither do I have a 7 inch (or anything above).
My closest bet and answer to this question is a single word answer with the capital T - Thrust Trust. ( I am not saying it is everything to a r/s but I'm saying it plays a very very big part. )
What is Trust ? Trust is something that we earn and we give but not ask for. I am a person who is very skeptical about things around me, aka I don't really trust a lot of things I see and people I come across. I believe no more than 40% everything man say because of man ego. ( I am saying generally to people I just meet of course. This trust level will fluctuate depending on the things you say as time goes. )
"The last I did this girl I do her for 180 mins"
- I capture this as " I did the girl(or my left hand) for 70mins"
"I earn 5-6k through Forex"
- I capture this as " I earn 500 - 600 through Forex"
Jokes aside,so how did we build this trust ? I believe it's pretty much the action and the things we do with each other on a day to day basis and we do not bullshit each other. Many people mention that Ah Dum and I do not act like we are lovers but rather we look like a married couple for the longest time. We are very comfortable with each other where we do not act a fake front just to impress each other. One important thing to take note abt trust is that when you say you trust, it means you trust. You do not go and search his bag and flip everything and you find no condom then you begin to trust or you have to sms her every sec to hear from her to then trust her. Being paranoid actually looses more trust than gain. That's one thing we never do as a couple, we do not check each other's sms-es, we do not check each other's wallet and neither do we check each other's FB's log. ( Do not ask me how i know she didn't check mine, I know I didn't check hers and I am very sure she do not check mine.)
The good side is that we do not keep secrets ( I hope) from each other where even if we made the smallest mistake we will take each other. ( of course, I am not saying that you only tell the slight mistake and keep the bigger ones). We are who we are in front of each other where we do not need to show off how much I earn or how good I am at work or what branded goods we have. Trust me, I have friends who are couple who try to impress each other with things around them be it monetary or not.
The bad side about this comfortable zone also means that we meet each other looking sloppy, no makeup, no fake eye lashes, no push up bra, we burp, we fart, we curse like sailor in front of each other. Tell me you don't like this feeling ?
Trust is a stage where you know he/she is there for you even if you are not the best cause he/she knows that you are always trying your best and both of you can be so comfortable with each other regardless. It's simply in a stage of timeless.
I could be wrong but as far as I know this works and is still working.
Signing off with one of my favorite songs from "hairspray" -u're) Timeless To Me
3 comments:
Good read. and really happy for you and your Ms Dum :) Stay blissful.
*salute your Ah Dum*
My r/s is currently half as long as yours. I do agree with the part where you wrote about 'the bad side abt the comfortable zone'. Cos its like this for us too, but we are happy with it. I believe when a couple is able to reach this level, good.... So, hooray for us! :p
I do dress up every now and then when I head out with him. I also want to look good (more for him, than for myself).
You know the part where you wrote that you have friends who compare whathtey have with their partners, THAT'S CRAZY mann! I wonder how it will be like when they get married... (ie. Comparing who can reach their "peak" the fastest, maybe?) :p
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