If I die young

It has been almost a month since the death of Kobe Bryant but the reality has yet to set in.

The fact that more social media outlets have been sharing his greatness makes it even harder to believe. We are watching eve more of him than ever.

Today is a very special day. Kobe is #24 and his daughter Gigi is #2. That is pretty much it. 24th Feb. 24.2.

It got me thinking. What if I die young. Life is so unpredictable, isn't it? It can be of a sudden illness, car accident, helicopter accident, or simply just any accident.

Death is inevitable.

It is a matter of when and how, never why.

Is it morbid to think about?

Is it too early to think about?

My own brother died at the age of 35.

Kobe died at the age of 41.

Kurt Cobain at the age of 27.

Wong Ka Kui (Beyond) at the age of 31

Chang Yu-sheng at 31 as well.

So I guess it is never too early to talk about it?

Legacy 

Not too sure what is life to others, but to me, it has always been about legacy. I remember saying this to a friend at a very young age.

"I want to be on the history textbook one day."

"why?"

"We will all die someday. Regardless of how old or young. Not everyone will get a chance to meet me and not everyone will know who I really am. At least if you are on a textbook, people would kind of know who you are right?"

I guess you can call me egoistic but at the same time, I just feel like life is kinda meaningless if you leave nothing behind isn't it?

So what if you worked hard? So what if you have been a kind person all your life if you cease to exist the moment you bite the dust? Wouldn't life be a lot more meaningful if you are able to leave something behind? Like your life is real. It is not just a dream.

The lives you touched, the people you met, the things you have achieved. I know some of you might not agree with me and find that it is sad that I put my focus in life based on how others look at me or what I've done. At least I am honest about it.

Anyways I think history textbook is kind of overrated these days. As long as Google does not close down one day, I think I am cool.

If I die young;

Can someone continue to pay for this domain?

I do not want you guys to cry for me. I want everyone to celebrate my life. I was here.

It is okay not to visit me at my grave or wherever. I think it has very little meaning to it.

I am not exactly very religious so I think throwing a party and invite everyone and just to do small groups of sharing of who I am will be fine. Do serve some alcohol at least.

I hope you guys can tell my kids about what kind of person I am. Sugarcoat nothing. Tell them as it is. I want them to really know me.

It is okay to throw away all my things because I know I really have a lot of them. At least donate it to the people who will need it and not waste those things I've bought.

I want to say sorry to everyone I've hurt. I probably didn't mean it and I am sorry and wish that you can forgive me. If I did hurt you on purpose, you probably deserved it so I forgive you too. LOL.

Do not tell my family that I am in a better place. You cannot be sure.

Tell my family I am sorry I can no longer be there for them.

I am sorry I cannot be there for all the good times and bad.

I am sorry I cannot be that voice to scold you when you make a mistake.

I am sorry I cannot be the person you wake up to in the morning.

I am sorry I cannot be the person who keeps you up with my snores.

I am sorry I cannot be there to remind you to eat your meat.

I am sorry I cannot be the person that annoys you anymore.

I am sorry I am unable to share my interest and my life personally.

I am sorry I cannot be the person to teach you everything.

I am sorry that your life is harder without me.

I am sorry that I am gone.

P.S. No, I am not suicidal. I just have this thought and wanted to pen it down.
Please do not call the suicide hotline on me. Thanks.

In case this blog post sucks, here's a MV for you.