Stop telling yourself it's okay when it's not.

YOU SUCK. Yes, it is very easy to call someone out for being bad at something. In fact, if you have a Facebook account and follow The Straits Times, you will see how easy it is to hide behind a screen and put people down with words.

On the other hand, how hard is it for us to admit that we are not good at something?

In a world where everyone enjoys cheers and applause no thanks to social media, can we really accept the reality that we are not good at something? We are addicted to instant gratification where we upload pictures of ourselves traveling in first class, driving a fast car,  and holding an exclusive LV x Supreme bag and we only want to listen to good things. It's funny how this is coming from me considering how much time I spend taking pictures and uploading it onto Instagram and writing on this blog.

No. I'm not asking you to dig out your old results slips and tell us how you failed your tests or exams. I'm not asking you to share depressing stuff or how bad your business on Facebook. Neither am I saying that we should embrace failures and celebrate mediocrity. What I'm saying is that we should just accept that we fail at times and we are not always better than everyone.

Let's just call spade a spade.

If you are not as good as someone at something, admit it. What am I trying to say here? 

You are not as good as gaming, don't say it's okay because the other guy has no life. 

If you don't have as many followers on Instagram, don't say it's okay because you don't care. (when you do)

If you fail your exam, don't make excuses for yourself and say it's okay because you didn't study and if you did you would probably have gotten full marks.

If you are fat, don't tell yourself it's okay and you are happy in your skin.

If your son doesn't excel in school, don't tell yourself it's okay as long as he enjoys his childhood. 

If you lost a basketball game, don't tell yourself it's okay because it's about the process and you had fun. 

If you can't handle life on the highway, don't tell yourself it's okay because slowing down to smell the roses is just as important.

Stop telling yourself it's okay when it's not.

Everyone enjoys winning. Some a bit more, some a bit less, but truth is we all like winning especially if it is something you believe you are good at. Of course I'm not saying you should start aiming for the stars and say you can beat Michael Jordan in a 1-on-1 game like what LaVar Ball did. 

Everybody sets out to do something and achieve something. Saying something to cushion your fall and getting a convenient excuse is way too easy. But life ain't always about easy. We do not set out to do anything in life just to fail. Yes, you can say something to make yourself feel good about failing but first, you have to accept the fact that you failed. Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking you guys to be egoistic and not able to accept failure, I'm saying don't tell yourself it's okay with convenient excuses like those mentioned above. 

More often than not we fail because we are not good enough, because we didn't put in the hours, because we are not prepared, and in some cases simply because the other person is better. I hate it when people are obviously trying to get something done but simply because of pride standing in their way, they cushion themselves with convenient excuses and tell themselves that it is okay. Enough is enough, sometimes it's not okay. Treat yourself, don't settle for consolation prize. If you did not work hard enough to get yourself into the top school in Singapore and when you get to the second, yes you failed but you are going to do your best in the second and not tell yourself some bs excuse like "it's okay, anyway the first school is too far, and I probably would have chosen the second anyway." 

In Cantonese, we have this saying – 有头发没有人要做瘌痢。Loosely translated to nobody wants to be infected with favus if one can have a head full of hair. It's true, isn't it? Why would I want to be fat if I can have a hot 6 pack body? Why would I want to come in 2nd in any competition if I can be first? 

Same goes for some other social media influencers who tell me things like they do not care about their quality of work, or number of followers and likes because it is just a hobby, but on the other hand I can see that they are using autolikers, autocomment bots and joining comment pods. I've no problem with people trying and doing more to try to achieve more in their lives, in fact I respect people who want to achieve something. What I'm saying here is that, admit that you are not good enough in certain things. It's as simple as "I've really been trying my best to grow my influence online but yet I'm not getting the results." And yes, I do know that you care about such things and stop letting yourself down easier because of pride. 

If you are so afraid of failure and so prepared with excuses for your failures, you will probably fail all the time.

If you know what you want, go all out and get it. Don't stop until you are done.

Go ahead and continue kidding yourself, tell yourself with all the million dollar hindsight and try to justify that every failure has a silver lining. There might be some silver lining in life, but why stop at silver when you could have gotten the gold?