Managing Happiness - Year of The Monkey.

My mum stayed over with us during this Chinese New Year because of the arrival of the lil one. If I've never told you guys before I am telling you now that I am actually a very big mummy's boy. I might look at the big tough guy with tattoos and doesn't care much but I'm actually a little bit of a gentle giant myself where I really care a lot for my immediate family. 

Chinese New Year was never easy for me when I was younger. Meeting relatives talking about things I do not care and listening to them showing off how much more they have on the plate than us, driving a bigger car or even as simple as having a better computer system at home that runs CS1.5 faster than mine. I guess I always felt inferior to my relatives. Maybe they did not go out to show off on purpose but I was envy with everything they had and I didn't. No doubt that I love my mum for how she takes care of us but a kid being a kid makes me question my parents, "Why are we not having as much as my relatives?" 

10mm Lens - making HDB looks big one click at a time.

The mum working hard to put food on the table. Both ways.

So I had this conversation with a friend the other day that "Money ain't everything in life". I mean that was what she was saying and I was quite surprised by my own reply because we ain't exactly very close friends and I replied saying "That's usually what one will say when you already have it." I thought I sounded a little too hard on hindsight. oops. But I guess I do feel a lot when it comes to childhood and money.

Yes, no doubt money can't solve every problem but the fact is that it CAN solve most problems. While on the other hand, not having money is the root of many problems as I experienced it myself when I was younger.

And here's something someone shared with me recently about how "money" can make a difference in one's childhood. No shit. it's real. Link

This is why I love having meals at home. Nobody is going to judge me for being socially unacceptable 

I started playing basketball at a new court these days, and because of this I got to make many new friends. They are nice kids age around 16 - 20, the age where you should be planning for your future but you don't. I love kids at this age because this is the age where you can actually talk sense to them and I think it is those age where I can relate to very easily. (but maybe if you asked them they will just find me preachy and annoying. I think not lah hor. Or rather I hope not.)

They have many questions about being an adult and some told me they can't wait to be an adult. They asked me questions about how much I earn, what I do, what I REALLY DO, (Because they don't believe that I'm a part time lecturer and also business owner, given how erm.. "young" I act when I'm with them.) how I become "successful", how long I've been dating before I got married, etc etc.  

Is Ohana everything?

Almost complete but never will be. Missing Kor and that's something that will never change.

I told the kids how I would change my life if I could. I would have put in more effort on my studies, in sports, and in fact in everything I do. I am not saying studies is everything and is the only way to success, but I must say, we are very fortunate to be born in Singapore where social mobility is not just a myth and yet I feel like I didn't fully make use for the opportunities that was available for me when I was a kid because of the lack of exposure. To make things worst, I was never committed in anything I do simply because... No, I've no good excuses actually. That was just who I was as a kid. 

Some of the kids told me that they feel like I am in a very good place. I mean, I have a wife, a kid, a roof over my head, a car, decent and stable income, more than happy family, and of course, good looks. (THEY SAID THAT! Or maybe they didn't. :p) They would be more than content to be in my shoes in years to come. Maybe you can call me greedy, maybe you would ask me to learn the act of being content but I feel like I can still do more for myself, my son, and even the society as a whole. So why do we stop just because we think we are "okay" instead of pushing ourselves to a greater heights when we are still able to?

人如果没有梦想，跟咸鱼有什么两样？

Once upon a time the babies of the families and now taking care of my lil one. It's so strange to see my lil sister being 24, niece being in Primary school when my greatest memory of them was actually the 1st time I met them as a baby in my arms.

I know we always believe that family and relationships should be above money but that doesn't means one have to give money just for family right? Why not win them all by balancing them as much as possible? Life doesn't always have to give right? I mean I know you can't be both fat and skinny at the same time but I don't see why can't we be a awesome individual as well as a loving son, responsible father, and a loyal country man. 

No harm making some random wishes for better health and future right? I mean we should all work hard but such practices do make us feel a little better about the new year no?

I have no idea how big corps CEO does it. Getting everything under their feet. I am sure they had their tough times that people don't see it. Like many of my friends always like to ask me how I actually juggle the new born, my businesses, my blog and my other 7908572132 social media platforms and hobbies. I do get a little jaded sometimes and wonder why must we do so much. Can we just forget everything and buy a little piece of land in Philippines and be a small time farmer? 

Well, I really don't think my life is that busy YET considering how I still have time for sleep and hobbies but I guess the secret is really to not sweat the small things and focus on bigger pictures. And also, I always compare up. I always look at how some of these people are doing more than me, achieving more than me, and you will realise that your life ain't that difficult after all. Look at how people that are taking care of themselves, family, upgrading themselves, voluntary work , and more. 

I know people always say "Don't compare lah." but if there's no comparison, there's no competition and when will improvement starts?  

The kids put up some GXFC choreography. 

No doubt, happiness is to each's own and there ain't no one size fit all solution. But the question is, are you truly happy or are you setting your expectations lower so as to not feel sad?

I started this post actually just to share my Chinese New Year pictures but it ended up becoming a little cheong hei. oops. I guess that's the very 1st syndrome of me becoming a preachy old man?

To end off this post, always remember, keep grinding and DO NOT stay in the comfort zone! Have a good year of the Monkey!