So if you like an in-depth and very smart version of this debate, you can check out Carrie's and Kenneth's post. Else you can actually read on to my not-so-serious-but-i-still-wanna-chap-ji-kar version of this debate.
Actually it is very misleading to put that as "vs" because they are pretty much on the same side.
I do agree with where this 2 is coming from. And I have to say those "idiots" who feel that single mum should be punished are seriously crazy. And I like to quote Kenneth's list of people who should be punished.
- Remove healthcare subsidies for fat people because it would deter people from getting fat.
- Reject medical treatment for cancer patients who developed their illness from second-hand smoke exposure to deter people from smoking.
- Remove assistance to sub-level income families to deter people from being poor.
- Remove Yellow Ribbon Project because we shouldn’t help ex-convicts and their families reboot their lives, to deter others from committing crime
This sounds really funny to me like I was laughing but when you stop laughing you will realise how much truth there are in this whole debate. Punishing single mothers really?
On the other hand
That being said I do see some "issues" (Thanks Kevryn for teaching me this new word) with this new system. Like every system that is being carved on stone, there will be loopholes and people abusing it. My concern for this issue is really not about whether should we give help to single mothers or all mothers regardless of marital status but more of how to handle it not being abused.
Besides abusing the system, will there be negative effect on the society where it give ladies an impression that being a single mother is actually "ok"? Is it really okay? I am sure it is not end of the world and we have seen many successful single mothers of course, but before we make successful single mothers a case study or give her a medal, we must understand there are many of those that struggled to survive out there who are just not mentioned or highlighted by the media.
I know many would say that it is better than abortion for sure because a life is a life but we've also heard about many cases that many individuals that are not ready to be parents less say single parents and ended up with their kids growing up saying things like "I hate my mum, I rather not be born into this world.". Painful to hear but it is true that we do not get to choose if we want to come to this world or not.
My debate here ain't talking about those well to do families with great family support and a healthy income and healthy grand parents etc. I am looking at those that are from low income families who really needed the help. Single parents that are probably uneducated with problem even taking care of themselves. I've so many friends and relatives who are teachers and based on true stories, you can see a lot of problems within single parents and their kids at school. The lack of attention, the lack of income, the lack of guidance and much more. Of course I am not saying that every kid from a single family is a problem but I am saying statistically speaking, kids coming from a broken family often suffers in more ways growing up as compared to one from a complete family and it is not easy for anyone. Of course we have black sheep from the complete families too.
What's my point? My point here is that single parenthood by choice ain't exactly the best decision and I am sure we do not want to encourage this as a norm and the last I want to hear is people saying
|Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubrey welcomed daughter Nahla in 2008, but split in 2010|
"Fuck off lah. Useless jerk. I can do well on my own since gahment now giving me all the help and people online also standing up for single mother. I CAN SURVIVE" Sad truth is people liking your status doesn't mean they will really be there for you when help is needed.
I am not from the pro-family camp and neither am I saying that being a single mum is bad for sure. I am saying that we need to bite what we can chew and bear the consequence not just for yourself but for everyone around you and especially the new born who is your responsibility. Are you ready for that?
In case my Engrish is very bad and you all wanna shoot me down because my stand in different from yours, below is a TL;DR version.
Gahment Help: Good
Punish Single Mother: You siao ah?
Single Mother With No Help and Support: Bad
Single Mother because of unfortunate events (Not condom break) such as husband pass away: Needs more support
Young Girl Wishful Thinking of Being a Single Mother is Cool: Baddddd
Conclusion: Support is good but there need to be a balance. Just like every mathematic equation, it is always about balancing it, you can't just add something to one side and hope that the balance still exist. The Ying and the Yang, ya know?
Here's a song for you and remember, love your mom.
Mr.Smith, Liberty has its price