I just felt that I needed to write something again. It is almost like dieting. The more you do not wish to eat the stronger the urge gets. That's another story for another time.
I was very touched and glad that I have gotten a lot of private messages, emails and even Whatsapp message about my last post. Generally people were very concerned about me getting into any trouble and why would I stop writing. I guess most of the guys who knows me know my love for sharing anything silly on the internet and voicing my opinion. Giving up to such things just doesn't seems to be "my style".
I also realised how mature my readers and friends are. Instead of posting on wall calling anyone names or saying things that potentially spark another endless and tiring debate, they choose to message me in private. Much appreciated for those who did that.
It is pretty touching to get message that says " do come back soon because my newsfeed looks weird without you commenting or sharing anything." So I guess there are people who misses my "flooding" on social media.
|Not sure if this is cyber bully. As seen on SGAG|
So I guess there are a lot who also asked me "Why?". Like why must I blog that post if I just wanted to walk away? I could just walk away right? Why do I need to attract those attention before moving away. I guess it is more than just a "Good Bye" but it was more of a message I was trying to send. The message is that "we do not need to fight or always voice out everything online" (which is kinda irony for this post) and the post was more of a accountability thing for clients and readers. Despite the post I got many message asking what happened etc which I got a little tired talking, but I guess it doesn't matter what happened but it is more of what is going to happen next not just for me but for our internet.
Things I learnt while I was away from the internet.
Before I digress further I would like to share about me being away from the internet. It wasn't easy for me to be honest. It was a little like a cold turkey for me. I felt a little lost for the 1st 2 days because of how much social media and the internet was integrated into my life. I read off the internet, I interact with people online, I think out loud and I overshare.
I started thinking to myself, "How was life before internet?", "How was life before social media?". I couldn't remember how it was and more questions pop out. How did we "solve" debate about who was in which movie before we have mobile google? How did we "wait" for things in queue with nothing to do? Memory was really fuzzy about what I did with all those free time on hand. I could hardly answer myself.
Freedom of Speech
Actually things haven't been that different haven't it? My dad used to read the papers or watch the TV and started scolding "What the hell is that BS? That is totally not true and the author is an idiot! That actor acts like my shit! (okay, my dad didn't really say that)". It looks so much like one of those online comment now but on a private platform. The truth is that internet did not make us any worst, it just shows everyone the worst of us instead of just keeping in behind closed doors. We all have the right to comment all these while but the biggest difference is how much of these comments were read by others, by the affected parties.
Life was way better. My focus got better, I listen better and I was generally happier. I didn't read anything off Facebook, anything was there to make me pissed off or disagree with. I did not start "shooting" anyone online and "fighting" for anything that didn't matter to my life. I guess the whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing worked very well for me. I might not be as connected as I was, I might not know what is up with my friend's life but I just got happier because negativity wasn't as available as well.
Did social media make me sad? I guess this widely discussed double edge sword weren't only helping/poking at businesses but also our lifestyle. As much as we can easily receive and deliver news, we are also more vulnerable when we put ourselves out there. There are people who disagree, there will be people who gets offended and to make things worst, there are people who will take things very seriously and be out there to hurt you and get you. I guess for some it would be easy to balance but for me I guess the solution for me was to reduce my contact with it.
It was hard to control my urge to share and upload. I activated my extra Twitter and Instagram (which was created for testing and stuff back then) account. I uploaded stuff and twitted some stuff on and off. I have less to read, I got zero likes, I do not get any reply for my tweets either. I was a "normal" person again. It felt weird but at the same time refreshing. The kind of feelings that has been long forgotten.
I am not sure how long I can keep this up but I will do my best. I guess it is hard for me as an individual to change the internet into a better place or even dictating what is a better internet but I guess the basics for me will be show more love and less hate. Does that means we only show the fluffy things online and no discussions are allowed? Doesn't that means that we have to live in a non-confrontational "fake world"? I have no answer for those questions but as of now I guess I will do those things that makes me happy and not harm anyone. I will continue to do my best in anyway I could using my voice online.
That's the greatest press release ever. but that's MJ in 1995 not me. I'm still.. well.. searching...