Merry Christmas Kor...

Merry Christmas Kor,

how is everything in heaven for Christmas? I am sure you guys up there have abundance of everything in heaven and I know you are having a peaceful time and I sure hope you are watching over us feeling proud of your wife and kids and also "satisfied" with my performance as an uncle over the last 1 year.

The one word I would use to describe this 1 year without you would be "UNREAL". I still can't believe that you are not around. Sometimes I think about the things you do, the things that you said and the plans we had as a family. I can still feel your presence like you have never left us. It feels like you are just a call away and one day when I open the door, you will be seated there asking me why am I back so late and you want to play your favourite mahjong with me. I hope it is true that I can just call you, I hope that you are still there for me like you always were.

This post to you have been in my head for the longest time but never can I find the courage to write it without crying again. I told myself that I have to be strong for you and everyone around me but it's not easy at all. And in fact it is your 3 treasure that make things so much easier for the adults. I've been trying my best to spent more time with them, to be the man and role model like how you were once to me. I might not be the one but I am trying my very best to be the very best. I love spending time with them and I hope they do too.

Nat's 7th birthday/ Christmas Party 2013

Although they are very young and some might say that they do not know what is happening but I must say the family is very blessed to have this 3 kids and you must be proud. They are always talking about you and in anyway they could, they will honour you and miss you. Looking at basketball, planes and your toys, every single thing reminds us about you. Especially all the family gatherings and parties.

Your 1st birthday since you left. 7th March 2013.

Parties are different without you. I hate it that we walk into your house and not getting greeted by your loud voice. I hate it that you will not walk to me in excitement showing me something new you bought. I hate it that you are no longer around to discuss with me the games or activities that we will arrange for the kids like we always did. Like how we did the basketball theme party, how I became "fat Leo" and more. In fact, Abby is the one who is most affected I think. We can see that she will be happy during the party but every time when we need to cut a cake or take a family photo, she would just talk away and show signs of unhappiness. Kor, please bless your bao bei Abby!

On the 3rd of November,

we gathered to honour you. Did you hear your little Nat Nat playing her violin piece for you? Did you get the balloons we sent? This girl is amazing. How she tok up the role as a leader of the team. How she is always putting all the responsibility on herself to do better and out do herself. Isn't this something that runs in our blood? Taking up leadership role to perform. She is totally you.

Life is hard without you cause we miss you so much. I hate shopping for toys without you being around. I miss texting you telling you that something is on discount and if you want to buy it. I hate it that you can no longer reply all my messages. That being said, I think we found comfort thanks to technology and to be more specifically thanks to Facebook. I am sure you saw all the post that we have been posting on your wall. It gives me the feeling that you are still listening to us.

In fact it has been more than a year but I never really dare to open to files that my friends gave me. The photos and the video of your wake and funeral. I left them on my tables for more than a year. I copied them out but until now, I've not watch and view them. I only managed to open them like now.

I always enjoy talking to you but I enjoy more listening to you. Can you talk to me again?

There are so many things that I've benefitted from you over the years and even till now. I am having some of my best time thanks to your kids. Your kids makes me a better person and I really hope I can make them better too. Help them to grow up the way you want them to be.

#RunWithWill

Ever since your departure, Kimmy started running and taking part in running events. I started picking up running again few months earlier. I remember how you use to make me round when i was a little fat boy. Nothing much has changed for me cause I am still fat but just way older. Everytime when I am tired during my run, I feel like you are there running with me, asking me to get my ass moving. I can feel and hear you in my head. So Kimmy and I decided that we should do this to honour you and your fighting spirit. We wish that one day you kids, your grand kids and everyone who knows you can be part of it. I've been updated the page and I must say I was very touched by some of the entries we have gotten so far. I really appreciate everyone that took time to fill up the form. It might just be an entry to anyone but I means a lot to us. It is the legacy of you that we want to honour.

I still talk about you a lot. Like you've never left. I talk about you with my friends, with new people I meet. I am proud of you, proud to have a brother like you. Proud that you are a brother, father, leader and a brave fighter. And I have to thanks all my friends who have been around to say the things that I need to hear to make me feel better and at the same time bear with the fact that I'm always talking about you.

I can't help it but to buy this additional Optimus prime to add it into your collection for X'mas. There are just some habits that cannot be changed. I hope you like it and I hope you are fine with how I've placed it.

Kor, I really miss you and I wish I can see you again some day.

Merry Christmas Kor.