Within a blink of an eye I'm turning 30 - 1. There was this taxi uncle who told me that as a man we shall not reveal that we are 29 and 33 years old as it's bad luck. He didn't believed it when he was younger and bad bad things happened to him. Thus I'm saying that I'm 30-1.
Anyway, another year older just means another year of experience and another year of changes. As usual, (funny to say that) nothing stays the same or usual in my life.
This year I've lost some weight, ended my start-up, started another job, got a wife (I sound like I just got it off mailorderwife.com), got a place, got a dog, got another ink and of course, lost a love one.
The Party.
.jpg "Birthday Tradition") |
| I miss this shit. |
I never really liked to throw parties for my own birthday. I believe I've mentioned it over and over too often. About the reaction of people who attend for the sake of it, about how I feel about common scene at most parties where people just leave after cake cutting like they just can't wait. Receiving useless and not even pretty gifts from your good/close friends that you have expectation but only turned out to be nothing but a disappointment or rather not have. It's not about having a bad gift but it's about how much that person treasure your friendship. Rather have a cheap but at least something that represents you isn't it? I guess I'm just negative like this when it comes to birthdays.
So for me it's always family dinner fun preferred. And of course, always crazy birthday presents that my brother will buy for me and birthday gifts that I will always extort from my sister.
"Eh, you know the new game? I buy and you pay for me okay?"
On top of that I would have friends who will text me, bring me out for dinner, book my time to meet up. I love small meetup like these. Where we catchup on each others' happenings. Talk about what's next and an excuse to drink a beer or two. To be honest, I have no idea what I've done to deserve awesome friends like these people. People like BR man, Keong, Daniel (Mamba) Tan, Joy, Fiona, and many more. I'm never one that will remember others birthday but I'm really happy that these guys not only remember it but also make the effort to make me feel special even when I'm growing older but not wiser.
The thought of growing old hurt the most not because one looks old but because the chance of "making it happen" gets lower. Remember when you were younger we will always say things like "When I grow up, I want to be...", "When I grow up, I want to do this do that buy this and that." The painful part is when it dawns upon you that you can no longer say "when I grow up" because you are already all grown up. How much more can one achieve or hope to achieve at the age of 40 or 50? And the fact is that life doesn't stop at 50.
The Regret.
"Never live your life in regrets, take responsibility for everything you have done and its consequences." - that's what I use to believe. If it's a mistake made, take it and move on and don't even look back but I'm biting on my own tongue for this. After certain chain of events, I've realize I do have a regret at the age of 30-1.
I was never competitive in sports at a younger age. I miss the chance that my brother had given me to play competitive sports along him. He always wanted me to spend more time on my fundamentals, he even wanted me to play at a higher level like he did when he injured his knee back then but it wasn't me. I never went for proper training, I never had a team and I never fought for something that I could have. The lack of discipline when it comes to training when I was younger. Looking back now when my lifestyle and my body doesn't allow me to do it anymore. It's a regret that could never be corrected. There is no way I can play basketball with you anymore. No way for you to be teaching me and coaching me anymore.
Birthday Wish.
Actually year in year out, my birthday wish has always been the same. For family happiness, health and wealth. And as a joke I would said I want world peace. This year... I wish I can meet you in my dreams, healthy and happy. Let's play ball!
I might be a little greedy this year to wish for an additional wish this year. I wish my friend Ming Hao who is fighting cancer will have a full and quick recovery. He is a nice man. Although we ain't close enough to be buddies but from the tweets I read and random short encounters we had, I believe his time is not yet up.
I know I am a blessed one, I know I have been lucky all these while, things falling into places for me in too many occasions despite some failures and hiccups in my life. I appreciates things and people around me for how it is/they are. In fact, I feel blessed just for breathing and able to open my (tiny) eyes every morning and seeing the happy faces around me but I wish you were here with me to see all these.
Mr.Smith, Happy Birthday Mr.Smith.
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