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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

1 + 1 = 3; A Yuki and Alvin Story.

 Smithankyou     12/19/2012 09:02:00 AM     current affairs, diary, scandal, singapore     16 comments   
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*Warning: This Article is nothing but a wall of text.*

Writing this article takes me more than just another opinion and time, it took me a lot of courage and consideration as well. It is not just a story about 2 or perhaps 3 unknown individual to me. This meant a lot to me. (No, I am not Alvin.)

I have been reading tweets about “scandal”, “cheating” and “breaking up” too often since the beginning of the week and to my surprise it has nothing to do with our ex-speaker of parliament Mr. Michael Palmer. I did not get the full picture until yesterday’s morning when I was delivered with a link to a very interesting facebook page – Alvin and Yuki.

At that moment, the page has a humble “likes” of no more than 3,500 and within less than 12 hours, it has double it’s number to 7,500 as I am drafting this post.

So what is so interesting about Alvin and Yuki? In a nutshell, Alvin cheated on Yuki with a blogger – ZR 2 months before their wedding. Wedding plans were made, hotel was booked, pre-wedding shoot was on the way but nothing save this relationship, a relationship closed to 3 yrs was wipe off shortly after the 1st encounter between Alvin and ZR.

I shall not go into details on what happened between the 3 as I do not know them personally, the things I know are purely based on what I have read on the page as well as some of the comments off twitter and facebook.

You didn’t ask me but…

I know Yuki is having a hard time, she tried killing herself and getting herself injured. Other than that, this is probably the only other way that she is handling the pain of losing the man of her life – writing. Like she mentioned on the page, she did not do it for the likes. I never doubt her intention about how writing help her deals with the pain cause I just lost someone very dear to me and writing it on social media platforms apparently does ease a little of these pain. It help me feel like I am not alone but this is also where the scary part comes in.

It’s social web and the consequences are beyond imagination. No, it is not just about who are reading the article but it is also about one being caught into self-pity. The cycle of self-pity is easily fulfilled online and supported by many, too many. I am making a bold assumption here that Yuki would never be able to stand on her feet again because of all those comments. It makes her feel that she IS the victim and when she is down, she will leech on such comments to remind herself that she is the victim and it is totally their fault that she became who she is today and it is totally alright since people agrees with her. Two problems here, 1 – she is constantly being reminded about this issue and 2 – she feels good from comments made by people who doesn’t know her nor the truth. She is leeching happy emotions off people who don’t give an extra h00t about what they say. These people know nothing but just throwing pure encouragement and hate onto ZR. It is basically a form of drugs. You will be happy for that period but never truly happy cause it is constantly haunting you.

From what I have read thus far, people address Yuki as the victim and ZR as the slut. We have not heard from Alvin but little truth is out there for us readers. Sad to say too many readers are showing more sympathy than being objective. Just because she is heart broken, she has to be the victim. No, I am not defending anyone here, like I mentioned, I do not know any of them but I am just speaking in a point of view that we really can’t judge anyone in this situation.

The Truth.

There is no truth for us to discover as relationship is emotion > logic. We can’t say that it’s her fault that she seduced him. Yes, she could have been 1 of the catalyst but not just her. She could have kept herself away from an attached man to minimize the chance of chance things happening but when emotions kick in, it’s not as simple as it seems. He could have ignored her, he could have done otherwise but he did not, and there has to be a reason why. Does Yuki not have a part to play in this tragedy? Did Yuki love him the way he wanted? Who are we to judge? Did Yuki give him the attention, the love or even the sex he ever wanted? If you had 2 big meals at Mcdees, will you still go to KFC and eat something just because KFC is having a promotion? I am not blaming Yuki, I am just stating the possibilities.  Yuki could have avoided this, Alvin could and so could ZR. I am just saying everyone plays a part. Go ahead and disagree with me but I am saying it.

I know some might argue that this is not ZR’s first time (in breaking up relationships) but how much do we know about her previous R/S again? I do not know anything, maybe she is really a player, maybe I might be wrong, I do not know the facts but neither do you and that is exactly my point.

Me.

Why did I mention earlier that this post takes me more courage than anything else?

What was your first reaction when you heard about this incident? Was it “wah, cancel wedding just before wedding because of 3rd party. I have a friend also like that leh.”? Everyone would have a friend like this isn’t it?

For those of you who are following me on twitter or instagram would know that I am currently happily married and staying at a place at Punggol, but has it always been like this? No. To respect everyone involved, I would just say that something similar happened and no, it was not easy. We were going through a rough patch just before our wedding and things went a little off course. Did anyone wanted it to happen? No. Did anyone plan this? No. Did anyone get hurt? Yes. Did anyone become wiser? I hope so.

Something I always believed is that 有头毛,没有人要当瘌痢. It simply means, who wants to be an option if he/she has a choice? I know, many will argue that there is always a choice and choice is always in each of our hands but the fact is that sometimes, emotion did make the choice, but it’s not logic’s favorite choice.

Why?

Some of my closer friends knows about this, some were part of it, some choose to stir shit and enjoy the scene while some left me as a friend because of this but most does not know about this, so why did I choose to talk about this and why now? Because I have learnt and I hope that others do as well. Things happened and it’s not about dwelling in it, it is about learning and moving on. We make mistake in our lives, it is not about hiding it but it is about living with it and embrace on it.  Life is about making choices, feel good about the right ones and always learn from the wrong ones.

Maybe…

You will judge me a little,
You will not trust me any more,
You will hate me,
You disagree with me,
You don’t give a shit,

But I am saying it, help Yuki, stop those baseless encouragement comments and really help her get back on her feet and leave the other couple alone.

Mr.Smith, it’s ok to fall, to cry and maybe even stop and not move for awhile, but always remember to stand up after that.
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16 comments:

Anonymous said...

All could have been at fault, but it's only right to settle the issue with Yuki first before getting involved with ZR.

Anyway, so you are one of those who ditch your partner for another cb?

=J=

10:12 AM
Anonymous said...

Finally, someone with something fair to say.

11:29 AM
Jo said...

Exactly ;)

2:25 PM
Anonymous said...

Why do I keep reading the same stories around. www.tiffanyyong.com/2012/12/19/yuki-alvin-zoe-raymond-when-love-gets-too-crowded/

5:09 PM
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
5:10 PM
Anonymous said...

I totally agree with your post. Most objective viewpoint ever out of the saga.

12:09 PM
Anonymous said...

Well said. People these days are too quick to judge.

7:06 PM
Ryan said...

i completely agree with your post. you took the words out of my mouth. ZR might not have known about Alvin's relationship and by the time she found out, their relationship had been too deep. Perhaps he promised that the relationship was 'over' and Yuki was clinging on to him etc. We won't ever know the real truth so it's not right to speculate. ZR chose to remain silent but it doesnt mean shes guilty. We're hearing only Yuki's sob story at the moment. Maybe Alvin has one and ZR has one.

.
.
.
Just move on!

10:19 PM
Anonymous said...

totally agreed with what you have written. each one of them do bare some responsibilities towards this incident.

8:38 PM
Anonymous said...

Alvin has a wonderful set of parents.

Other than that, for a man to propose, thus publicly...
and again without consideration for the decision and impact on another just shows that he probably doesn't understand Love.

Love not lust. Love not sex. Love and not just happy feelings.

12:12 AM
Anonymous said...

totally agree :)

10:47 PM
Anonymous said...

Finally.. Someone sharing the same thought as i do..

6:25 PM
Anonymous said...

true, i do agree everyone plays a part in this tragedy. perhaps, yuki didn't give love, attention etc to what alvin expected. however, i am wondering why alvin proposed and made so much of effort for the wedding preparation, end up cancelled the wedding. does it mean that SUDDENLY he thinks yuki is not the right one he was looking for? Although relationship is kinda of emotional > logic, but human being should learn to be rational when come to relationship. emotional is not an excuse.

9:28 AM
Smithankyou said...

Hi too all the anonymous, thanks a lot for your kind comments. I was merely writing how I feel about this issue. As for the lastest anonymous, I hope you are tracking comments or will drop by again to read this reply of mine. I wished I could reply you directly but you left no contact. Anyway to answer your question, I am guessing, I use the word guessing here because i am not Alvin and I can't speak for him. There are a few possibilities. 1.People change. the need of Alvin changed. 2. People change, the way Yuki giving has changed. 3. People learn, it is the fact that one has never been given a chili doesn't know it is hot. Maybe he doesn't know the kind of love he wants until he met ZR to knows what he really wants. 4. Maybe he knows but he was mature about the relationship and believe that proposing and getting married will change things. I have heard enough people saying things like this. "If we don't get married, we will probably break up. We need to move on to something else, a next milestone." Isn't that a common hear say for you as well? Hope that gives you a lil more insight about Alvin's decision.

10:39 AM
Sugar said...

another famous blogger talking about it ah http://yohnoyono.blogspot.sg/2013/01/zoe-raymond-saga.html

5:57 AM
Daniel's Food Diary said...

We will never know what happened. Love is never easy. Just hope the 3 of them will find happiness in the end. :)

1:55 PM

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