*Warning: This Article is nothing but a wall of text.*
Writing this article takes me more than just another opinion
and time, it took me a lot of courage and consideration as well. It is not just
a story about 2 or perhaps 3 unknown individual to me. This meant a lot to me.
(No, I am not Alvin.)
I have been reading tweets about “scandal”, “cheating” and
“breaking up” too often since the beginning of the week and to my surprise it
has nothing to do with our ex-speaker of parliament Mr. Michael Palmer. I did
not get the full picture until yesterday’s morning when I was delivered with a
link to a very interesting facebook page – Alvin and Yuki.
At that moment, the page has a humble “likes” of no more than
3,500 and within less than 12 hours, it has double it’s number to 7,500 as I am
drafting this post.
So what is so interesting about Alvin and Yuki? In a
nutshell, Alvin cheated on Yuki with a blogger – ZR 2 months before their
wedding. Wedding plans were made, hotel was booked, pre-wedding shoot was on
the way but nothing save this relationship, a relationship closed to 3 yrs was
wipe off shortly after the 1st encounter between Alvin and ZR.
I shall not go into details on what happened between the 3 as
I do not know them personally, the things I know are purely based on what I
have read on the page as well as some of the comments off twitter and facebook.
You didn’t ask me
but…
I know Yuki is having a hard time, she tried killing herself
and getting herself injured. Other than that, this is probably the only other
way that she is handling the pain of losing the man of her life – writing. Like
she mentioned on the page, she did not do it for the likes. I never doubt her
intention about how writing help her deals with the pain cause I just lost
someone very dear to me and writing it on social media platforms apparently
does ease a little of these pain. It help me feel like I am not alone but this
is also where the scary part comes in.
It’s social web and the consequences are beyond imagination.
No, it is not just about who are reading the article but it is also about one
being caught into self-pity. The cycle of self-pity is easily fulfilled online
and supported by many, too many. I am making a bold assumption here that Yuki
would never be able to stand on her feet again because of all those comments.
It makes her feel that she IS the victim and when she is down, she will leech
on such comments to remind herself that she is the victim and it is totally
their fault that she became who she is today and it is totally alright since
people agrees with her. Two problems here, 1 – she is constantly being reminded
about this issue and 2 – she feels good from comments made by people who
doesn’t know her nor the truth. She is leeching happy emotions off people who
don’t give an extra h00t about what they say. These people know nothing but
just throwing pure encouragement and hate onto ZR. It is basically a form of
drugs. You will be happy for that period but never truly happy cause it is
constantly haunting you.
From what I have read thus far, people address Yuki as the
victim and ZR as the slut. We have not heard from Alvin but little truth is out
there for us readers. Sad to say too many readers are showing more sympathy
than being objective. Just because she is heart broken, she has to be the
victim. No, I am not defending anyone here, like I mentioned, I do not know any
of them but I am just speaking in a point of view that we really can’t judge
anyone in this situation.
The Truth.
There is no truth for us to discover as relationship is
emotion > logic. We can’t say that it’s her fault that she seduced him. Yes,
she could have been 1 of the catalyst but not just her. She could have kept
herself away from an attached man to minimize the chance of chance things
happening but when emotions kick in, it’s not as simple as it seems. He could
have ignored her, he could have done otherwise but he did not, and there has to
be a reason why. Does Yuki not have a part to play in this tragedy? Did Yuki
love him the way he wanted? Who are we to judge? Did Yuki give him the
attention, the love or even the sex he ever wanted? If you had 2 big meals at
Mcdees, will you still go to KFC and eat something just because KFC is having a
promotion? I am not blaming Yuki, I am just stating the possibilities. Yuki could have avoided this, Alvin
could and so could ZR. I am just saying everyone plays a part. Go ahead and
disagree with me but I am saying it.
I know some might argue that this is not ZR’s first time (in
breaking up relationships) but how much do we know about her previous R/S
again? I do not know anything, maybe she is really a player, maybe I might be
wrong, I do not know the facts but neither do you and that is exactly my point.
Me.
Why did I mention earlier that this post takes me more
courage than anything else?
What was your first reaction when you heard about this
incident? Was it “wah, cancel wedding just before wedding because of 3rd
party. I have a friend also like that leh.”? Everyone would have a friend like
this isn’t it?
For those of you who are following me on twitter or
instagram would know that I am currently happily married and staying at a place
at Punggol, but has it always been like this? No. To respect everyone involved, I would just say that
something similar happened and no, it was not easy. We were going through a
rough patch just before our wedding and things went a little off course. Did
anyone wanted it to happen? No. Did anyone plan this? No. Did anyone get hurt?
Yes. Did anyone become wiser? I hope so.
Something I always believed is that 有头毛，没有人要当瘌痢. It
simply means, who wants to be an option if he/she has a choice? I know, many
will argue that there is always a choice and choice is always in each of our
hands but the fact is that sometimes, emotion did make the choice, but it’s not
logic’s favorite choice.
Why?
Some of my closer friends knows about this, some were part
of it, some choose to stir shit and enjoy the scene while some left me as a
friend because of this but most does not know about this, so why did I choose
to talk about this and why now? Because I have learnt and I hope that others do
as well. Things happened and it’s not about dwelling in it, it is about
learning and moving on. We make mistake in our lives, it is not about hiding it
but it is about living with it and embrace on it. Life is about making choices, feel good about the right ones
and always learn from the wrong ones.
Maybe…
You will judge me a little,
You will not trust me any more,
You will hate me,
You disagree with me,
You don’t give a shit,
But I am saying it, help Yuki, stop those baseless
encouragement comments and really help her get back on her feet and leave the
other couple alone.
Mr.Smith, it’s ok to fall, to cry and maybe even
stop and not move for awhile, but always remember to stand up after that.
16 comments:
All could have been at fault, but it's only right to settle the issue with Yuki first before getting involved with ZR.
Anyway, so you are one of those who ditch your partner for another cb?
=J=
Finally, someone with something fair to say.
Exactly ;)
Why do I keep reading the same stories around. www.tiffanyyong.com/2012/12/19/yuki-alvin-zoe-raymond-when-love-gets-too-crowded/
I totally agree with your post. Most objective viewpoint ever out of the saga.
Well said. People these days are too quick to judge.
i completely agree with your post. you took the words out of my mouth. ZR might not have known about Alvin's relationship and by the time she found out, their relationship had been too deep. Perhaps he promised that the relationship was 'over' and Yuki was clinging on to him etc. We won't ever know the real truth so it's not right to speculate. ZR chose to remain silent but it doesnt mean shes guilty. We're hearing only Yuki's sob story at the moment. Maybe Alvin has one and ZR has one.
.
.
.
Just move on!
totally agreed with what you have written. each one of them do bare some responsibilities towards this incident.
Alvin has a wonderful set of parents.
Other than that, for a man to propose, thus publicly...
and again without consideration for the decision and impact on another just shows that he probably doesn't understand Love.
Love not lust. Love not sex. Love and not just happy feelings.
totally agree :)
Finally.. Someone sharing the same thought as i do..
true, i do agree everyone plays a part in this tragedy. perhaps, yuki didn't give love, attention etc to what alvin expected. however, i am wondering why alvin proposed and made so much of effort for the wedding preparation, end up cancelled the wedding. does it mean that SUDDENLY he thinks yuki is not the right one he was looking for? Although relationship is kinda of emotional > logic, but human being should learn to be rational when come to relationship. emotional is not an excuse.
Hi too all the anonymous, thanks a lot for your kind comments. I was merely writing how I feel about this issue. As for the lastest anonymous, I hope you are tracking comments or will drop by again to read this reply of mine. I wished I could reply you directly but you left no contact. Anyway to answer your question, I am guessing, I use the word guessing here because i am not Alvin and I can't speak for him. There are a few possibilities. 1.People change. the need of Alvin changed. 2. People change, the way Yuki giving has changed. 3. People learn, it is the fact that one has never been given a chili doesn't know it is hot. Maybe he doesn't know the kind of love he wants until he met ZR to knows what he really wants. 4. Maybe he knows but he was mature about the relationship and believe that proposing and getting married will change things. I have heard enough people saying things like this. "If we don't get married, we will probably break up. We need to move on to something else, a next milestone." Isn't that a common hear say for you as well? Hope that gives you a lil more insight about Alvin's decision.
another famous blogger talking about it ah http://yohnoyono.blogspot.sg/2013/01/zoe-raymond-saga.html
We will never know what happened. Love is never easy. Just hope the 3 of them will find happiness in the end. :)
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