What happened in the club stays in the club.

Remember my previous post about how to Party like a VIP?

And I said this:

What Happened in the Club? Stays In The Club.  

Why? Because there are people who dance like an ugly whore and there will be people taking picture.

Apparently this time round I am that bitch, so suck it.

Bitch Please.

MUAHAHAHAHAH!! I guess it's good I don't party these days!

Mr.Smith, shame shame!

Read More

Just Another Singapore Blog Awards Post - 9gag Style

9gag has slowly and unknowingly integrated into our lives and especially lives of people like us, people who spent too much time on social media.

Talking about Social Media, I suppose the up and coming event for local would be the OMY Blog Awards which I already blogged about recently.

And I know how we prefer pictures > wordy posts and I've decided to blend into the culture. FYI, just for laugh. In fact you will only find it funny if you know these memes.

Ridiculously Photogenic Guy 

High Expectation Asian Father

first world problem 

One does not...

ALL!

Internet Husband

Sarcastic Willy Wonka   

Y U NO

NOT SURE IF....

Success Baby

Really Famous Guy

#ForeverAlone

Annoying Facebook Girl

Mr.Smith, 9GAG LAH!

Read More

Epic Way Of Getting Confinement - #TrueStory

Base On A True Story.

All the recruits handed up their journal and Recruit Tan ( Fake name) decorated his journal with his gf's picture. And the conversation went something like this ...

3SG : Wah Recruit, Your GF so chui you still put her picture here? 

REC : FUCK YOU LAH 

- And the rest are histories. 

WTF ! 

Read More

I wanna be a MP, so fu*king bad.

With all the #SGelections talk happening around us, it ain't that difficult for me to spare a thought about being a MP. But seriously, being an MP means that I can't even spell fu*k in full. Maybe not even possible for me to say any 4 letter words starting with F. No Frogs, No Fish, No Full and No Fool.  There are so much I would have to give up just to be a MP. I can no longer go mambo and do my crazy finger dance, I can no longer blog about sex and neither can I upload my pictures of my and my branded Nike bag on facebook.

On the other hand I believe that there are some stuff I can offer my people in Singapore ! Let's take a look at my manifesto !

1. Media

- A more open media in Singapore. Adult TV Channel on cable. Local porn magazine which will be sold to adults (above 18) only.

- Dialect Firms to be allowed. Since Singaporean are already pretty good with the Chinese and English I think it's about time that Singapore goes back to their root. It's shameful that many youngsters these day who does not even know their own dialect.  Dialect radio Deejays and radio channel !


2. Defense 

- Army will be compulsory but just the BMT of 3 months for the ladies. This is not for the ladies to defend our country but at least basic self defense skills for the ladies. We believe in balance in gender right? Trust me, this is going to be a hit.

- Army for the guys will be change depending on your role. BMT : standard 3 months for people who pass ippt and 6 months for fat boys. Course for 3 months for non-commander. 6 months for specialist and 9 months for officer. Service at unit to be standardize at 6 months. Current situation is that some non-commanders serves too long with no motive while officers who went through longer training who are suppose to be more "useful" just get ORD too soon without doing any real work. This might discourage people to be commander but this problem should be solved by paying better money and more pride right?

- IPPT woes : Every soldier is different. Some soldiers can fight, some can carry weights and some can run. Thus I propose that IPPT should be change into a format where there will be 7 station and you just have to choose 3 which you are good at plus maybe 2.4km which is compulsory since running should be a must for all "war".

3. Public Transport

- People who does not give up seats to people who need it ( Obvious reason, old people, sick people, pregnant people) will fucking be fined !

- People who does not move into the centre of the train of end of the bus will fucking be fined too !

4. Entertainment/Recreation/Sports 


- Nude beach ! Specific beach at Sentosa will be converted into nude beach !

- Basketball ! Singapore will stop the S.League and use the budget on cultivating Basketball instead.


5. Birth Rate


- The main problem of low birth rate is due to high standard of living due to the hospital fee and education dollar for the kids. Thus Education will be free all the way from pre-school to at least JC. The gahment can take it as an investment for the better tmr no? It's not like it's something new isn't it?

- We will run make babies campaign and there will be public holiday for all and also be compulsory Make baby leave for married couples to clear each work year.

6. Housing


- HDB pricing will be sold off at a lower starting base price and to encourage people to stay longer at their house and not doing resale over and over again for profit, HDB flats sales system will be as such of investment/insurance where buyer can actually cash out different amount at different period of time of staying at the same flat as if investment has matured. This will prevent the nation for reselling their flats and causing the flats to be unaffordable.

7. Foreign Talent


- Foreign Talent is a very important part of a nation's economy and there is no way a country can close our door on them. More strict criterial to be set and anyway I am a believer that if you are good you do not need to feel threaten. We will also ensure that they bath as well as complete and pass a English proficiency test.

8. ERP


- This f**king stupid system will be re-look into. Objective of ERP is to ease the traffic but by putting ERP at every major road does not make sense.

9. Private Transport (Car)


- Obviously Singapore's current car load is too high and COE is not helping. No doubt the cost is very high but local still manage to buy car. Thus I am proposing that the system will be change into a format where else it is like signing credit card. You will need to either show your pay(CPF) and make sure that it hits a certain level in order to buy a car or in some case it is a family car, you could combine your husband and wife and each person is only entitle to 1 such car license unless for cooperate account. This will cut down 1. Rich man son from getting car at age of 18. 2. Rich man who buy multiple cars for fun.

10. Education


Students are observed to have lost the ability to make their own decision. We see graduates with the wrong diploma/degree (for example myself) and many are lost after Secondary/JC education on what course to choose.  Students should be educated in the importance of education and not being force into some academic syllabus and examinations.

PLEASE VOTE FOR ME ! 


Please vote for me if you like what you have read above !

Please vote for AP ! ( Awesome Party)

Mr.Smith, So F**king bad ~~

Read More