Would having a kid or 2 help secure our future?

Seth brought a lot of fun and laughter into the family. I would say that Seth's presence made us closer as a couple and a family. Although we talk a lot more about Seth than ourselves now, we are spending a lot more time together and doing silly things that we would probably never do if not for him. And I actually enjoy these things. We might have a lot more time to ourselves, a lot more money and less things to worry if not for him, but having Seth around is just different. I can't imagine a day without him now. Actually I can lah, sometimes he just drives me up the wall with his constant "papapapapapapa".

It's strange how I enjoy his company so much now and previously I wasn't even into having a kid. The decision changed after a few years into our marriage when I was convinced by my wife that having a kid would be good. I gave it a thought and I thought it's ok to give it a try and I was surprised we got pregnant so quickly.

Fast forward to 2017 and Seth is almost 2 years old and the wife has been activitly trying to convince me for a number 2 which I'm very apprehensive about. (Stop making use of my body like I'm just a piece of meat. #Justsayin) Do we have enough time? Do we have enough resources? What if the 2nd one is not as cute or easy? Will we be biased? (I'm sure we will) What if she is not a she that we want? What if they don't get along? Too much uncertainty for a control freak like me and there are too much risk on the table isn't it?

My wife begs to differ. She see opportunities and she feel that a single child might grow up with a lot of issues all summed up as '1 child syndrome". I've seen a lot of my friends growing up fine and doing good in life despite being only child so what's the worry?

That being said, I feel the downside of being a single child comes when your parents are both old and need attention. Back in the olden days when only 1 parent was working,  the wife usually would stay at home to look after the kids as well as the in-laws which ain't the case anymore these days. To adapt to our current standard of living as well as our wants and needs, usually their own parent will be working which makes taking care of parent rather difficult.

One of my friends actually gave up her career and stayed home to look after her mother after she got a stroke. It was too expensive for her to get a personal care and at the same time she was unable to balance her career and look after her mother as she was the only child. It got me thinking, would things be better if there were more of them to split the responsibilities?

It's strange how life works in full circle for me all the time. While I was having all these thoughts and talks with my wife, I was invited to visit NTUC's new nursing home located at Chai Chee.

To be honest, half my mind was in deep thoughts while they were giving their presentation. Not because I'm thinking of what's for lunch but more of how our son, being part of the next generation will handle the new standard of living considering how tough it already is now as compared to our parents' era. Things will only get more competitive and difficult isn't it? I'm not saying our parents' era had no problems. Of course they had. They had another set of problems which required them to take a lot of hardship as compared to now but it's just different. We can't compare apple to apple.

Will I become a burden to my son?

Will having another child help to deal with the cost of living in the future?

Is there anything I can do to make things easier for him?

Is money the solution?

I was able to daydream (which I know I probably shouldn't) partly because I'm actually no stranger to NTUC Health. Although many of my friends still conveniently mistake Fairprice as the entire NTUC LOL. Many years ago I too visited one of the NTUC Silver Circle Day Care Centre which also takes up 1 of the 9 levels in this building. And more recently I did an article where I was given the opportunity to job shadow one of the healthcare worker from NTUC Health – Care@Home. As you can see, this problem about health and future is always lingering on my mind. From "is having a kid a solution" to "will be having 2 kids make things easier." Still no answer.

The thought of growing old scares me. A lot. So much so that sometimes I rather go out in a blaze of glory style than to grow old and be left with a body without soul, not able to contribute and just wait for my days to pass. I mean that's a very negative thought and probably selfish one to the people around me but I guess that's me. *shrugs*. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way. That probably also why some of the uncle and auntie we meet on the streets are so grouchy lol.

So to overcome such issues and not let them feel like life has no purpose, many of these elderly are staying at the nursing home. They will get to socialise with others, and most importantly have proper healthcare which is what they need most. The main objective of the nursing home is definitely to get them well and send them home. For those who still need help with spending time with friends can be part of the Silver Circle day care. Such facilities really give the elderly a sense of fulfillment each day!

So besides health care, they also have gym, social activities such as craft work, and even this little "fake house" for elderly to be prepared and ready to stay in a proper home environment where they can do day-to-day tasks themselves.

NTUC Health as the name suggests is one of NTUC social enterprises. For the uninitiated, the main thing about NTUC Social Enterprise has always been to help moderate cost of living for the average Singaporeans, to help them stretch their dollar.

For a while now, NTUC social enterprises have been expanding their services from addressing one core of “managing the cost of living” to managing four major social concerns. Singaporeans’ four main social needs in the next 10 years are: cost of living; ageing, health and healthcare costs; and social mobility (yes, the fear of being left behind). NTUC social enterprises are disrupting themselves to provide integrated services to address Singaporeans’ needs at every stage of their lifecycle.

So for NTUC Health,it is hoping to tackle the challenges of an ageing population as a country and also manpower shortage. With the right eldercare facilities and services, including nursing homes, day and senior care centres and even home care services, the elderly can be well taken care of, and the working people can have peace of mind at work when their parents are tended to which is very important. Can't imagine going to work each day with 2 hours sleep because you need to stay up and look after your parents.

From what I gathered during my visit, with all the help and grants from government, the cost can go as low as few hundred dollars per month.

Besides this nursing home in Chai Chee, there are also 2 more centres located at Jurong as well as Geylang.

This nursing home has different themes on each level. The themes are things that the elderly are familiar with. Mostly of them are mock ups of places they grew up seeing and spent time at, for example the old school hawker, barber, HDB units, classrooms and more. I was joking with my friend that when it's our time, they probably have to build places like Clarke Quay and Zouk. Especially the toilet area of the old Zouk where everyone sits around hahaha. These designs are actually very good for dementia patients, it's what they call the reminiscence therapy where it will encourage them to recall their past, engage in  conversations and feel at home. Yup, mine's definitely some drinking place, the gym, basketball court, and also my office. LOL.

Such visits always give me a heavy heart by the end of the day. It's inevitable that we all grow old but is it inevitable that we cannot have a good retirement? I guess at the end of the day, health really is everything.

NTUC's second nursing home was launched on Thursday Nov 2. NTUC Secretary-General Chan Chun Sing had previously said that such efforts are part of its push to offer affordable services for working people.

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Because we care.

See, my fatty boy enjoying his 1st wedding dinner where he didn’t get to eat anything. 

Just caught up with some friends at a wedding dinner the other night and they were complaining that I am working too hard. (They can never catch me for dinners or any social meetups) Reminded me that I should remember to take a break and not erm, die too young. (or try at least.) They do not understand why am I putting so much on my plate. Why would someone with a proper business go around taking on commercial photo projects, write blogs, publishing book and all. (Oh, that is another story for another time. But more details coming soon I promise!)

The answer should probably be because I want to become rich. Why? (Why not? I mean besides the fact that with money you can buy a lot of shoes and food.)

I guess this hit me hard the moment I became a dad and also when I start to think about retirement. (I know I’m in my 30s but it’s really never too early.) Our cost of living is getting higher by the day and also one of the biggest fears I’ve – healthcare costs.

My grandmother had 8 kids. So technically you would have 8 kids to look after you and pay for your medical or what nots after your retirement. My mum has 3 kids. So generally if anyone of us couldn’t bring my mum to any medical appointment, the other 1 would step in. We always try to rotate our timetable around to best accompany her for any medical appointment. But take a look at the current situation where most families only have one child. It would be so taxing in terms of both money and time when it comes to taking care of the elderly in another 30-40 yrs time isn’t it?

My son would probably not able to date a girl properly or travel around for work if I’m around, sick and pretty much a burden to him. As much as if he is filial enough to give up on those things to look after me, it would still suck for me to know that I’m in his way of progression isn’t it? How can my son be successful in his career if all he does is come home to look after his old man after work?

Last week, I attended a job shadowing session by NTUC Health. To be honest, I didn't even know that NTUC Health provides home personal care service. (Erm, NTUC Health ah. Not FairPrice. Don’t go to the supermarket counter and ask for this hor. NTUC Health is basically a social enterprise under NTUC Enterprises. There are also NTUC Foodfare, NTUC First Campus, Income etc etc. Same same but different lah. Basically their aims are all the same – to fulfil social needs that are not being met or under-served, and to help Singaporeans manage cost of living better.)

Stepping into the client’s house gave me a very strong sense of nostalgia. It’s as if I’m back at my late grandmother’s place. A simple HDB flat in the heartlands. 

Along with the Senior Care Associate, Lee Geok Bee and my digital GirlBoss, Flora, we visited Mdm See Lwee who is in her 90s.

Flora picking up some tips from Geok Bee. 

You wouldn’t believe Mdm Swee is in her 90s seriously. No doubt my grandmother lived till she was 102 but my grandmother was not as mobile and active in her 90s. Mdm Swee is very active and not at all awkward meeting us even when I was holding my camera and shooting her most of the time. She just went on talking to us with her strong voice.

Although it was just two hours of shadowing Geok Bee as she went about doing her work, I learnt quite a lot. Not just about this home personal care service, I also picked up some useful tips on effective communications with the elderly as well as how to take care of older folks.

Geok Bee was so patient with Mdm Swee and we could see how Mdm Swee was responding well to her. Watching them interact from behind my camera,the scene didn't feel like a healthcare worker helping her client. Instead, it felt like Geok Bee was visiting a good friend. They chatted about the old lady’s daily life, and Geok Bee would engage her in different topics while trying to convince her to do her workout. Geok Bee showed how patient she was by reminding her client what pills to eat and what not to eat.

Although she didn’t say it, it was obvious Geok Bee takes her job of a healthcare professional seriously. There was no big statement from her about wanting to save the world by helping one senior citizen at a time. She also didn’t feed us any PR messages. But the warmth and care she showed when spending time with Mdm Swee was enough to convince us how sincere she was.

Geok Bee told us this is a part-time job. She tries not to commit more than a certain number of hours each day, and she plans her work schedule according to her own family's time. It works out well this way. She can spend time with her loved ones, and still help others in her free time. Good work-life balance!

During such two-hour sessions, her work includes doing mentally stimulating activities with her clients (for seniors with dementia), physical maintenance exercises, grocery shopping, light housekeeping, meal preparation and even personal hygiene (shower or bed bath). And she provides companionship too, which is important to many lonely folks. Other than clients with regular schedules, Geok Bee also provides respite care for other clients during the caregiver’s day off.

The ladies doing some physical maintenance exercise together. 

By now you must be wondering about the cost of this home personal care service. Given the amount of work that the Home Care Associate has to do, you might imagine very high costs. A quick search on the website shows that rates start from $19 each hour! Not too bad lah. Such initiative surely can help people who are worried about the rising cost of living. (erm, like myself. LOL)

I am quite impressed by this program. Not only does it answer one of our biggest problems – the high cost of taking care of our ageing population – it also tackles the problem of not enough local healthcare workers by tapping into the part-time workforce. This is a good option especially for women who left their jobs earlier and now want to work part-time since their children are older.

To be honest, I never spent time to think about all these NTUC social enterprises before this. At most I know FairPrice, Income and maybe FoodFare (because Food. LOL) . But now that I think of it, they also have NTUC Health and My First Campus. Looks like they want to cover basic needs throughout our lifecycle, especially areas we worry the most - health and healthcare costs, ageing concerns and cost of living.

Did you know of the rice crisis in 2008 and 2011 where rice prices doubled? Some bad retailers raised prices really high. But because FairPrice is a major importer, and it stockpiles three months' supply of rice, it was able to moderate prices.

When I got home after the job shadowing session, I also went online to kaypo a bit to see where NTUC Health’s rates stand. Well, it is really the most affordable one out of the five or six that I checked. (Before I got distracted with watching Orange is the new black.)


I’m not saying that because we have such programs in place so I’m going to slack my life away. But it is always good to know there’s something to fall back on if things fail, isn’t it? We can only plan so much in our life. Like the Chinese always say - 人算不如天算

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