#PrayForGordonHayward - PTSD is real.

It was October 18th in Singapore and NBA is finally back. The post-season has always been a hard time for NBA fans like myself. All the anticipation about the new trades has always been something that keep the fans on the edge of their seats. This year was exceptionally interesting with the movement of talents that include our new super team OKC, the marriage between Chris Paul and James Harden, as well as the brand new Boston Celtics with Kyrie and Gordon Hayward.

The boys and I gathered at my place to watch the opening match - Boston VS Cleveland together. We were all hyped up waiting to see how LeBron is going to lose his first game of the season. (Yeah, I'm one of those anything but LeBron fans.)

The nightmare happened around 5 minutes into the very first game. Allstar forward Gordon Hayward had a great fall and it was brutal. Do a search on the internet and you will see the footage. He broke his ankle. Everyone at the game was traumatised. No matter how much you hate that player or wish to beat him on court, nobody wants to see another player going through such injuries.

I hardly blog anything about NBA on this space anymore partly because it's not something my readers read and also because it's something that takes up too much time of mine. Every time I start talking about ball, I will spend hours on it. Sports is life, and basketball is my life even as someone who is playing it as a hobby lest say a professional player. I can only imagine what Hayward is going through now. The guilt of disappointing his fans and the fear of losing his career, his life.

I can't say I know exactly how he was feeling at that moment but I can totally feel the pain coming from someone who also broke his ankle recently. 

Your life just flashes across your mind. There will be so many questions in your head with no answer. All you have in front of you is a broken ankle, fear, anger, and more fear. The fear is so great that you can hardly feel the pain until your fear starts to fade in about another 5 seconds, which felt like forever.

The team has announced that he will probably be out for the season but from the looks of it, I say his career is over. Not that I want his career to be over but I am just not too positive when it comes to such injuries.

His ankle might be able to recover with the help of modern technology as well as the help he gets as a professional athletic with the NBA but it's the mentality that he needs now to get over it.

Although I did not break my ankle on the basketball court and I made a fast recovery, I am still suffering from major PTSD. I do not dare to run that much and I still get the shivers down my spine every now and then when I close my eyes. I see my ankle broken again and all the inconvenience it has brought me. The small little things in life that I took for granted. Some things that I do day to day, I can no longer perform with ease. From walking to even showering. It was tough times. And even today, my ankle is not able to perform certain simple tasks like squatting properly or doing a proper Japanese sit. So often I woke up from my sleep from having nightmares of my ankle breaking on the basketball court. The fear is real although I do not talk much about it.

Before the night came to an end, I was doing my usual reading. Sites were all sharing the videos and Tweets from other NBA players praying for him. I can't help it but tears were forming in my eyes. I wasn't even sure if I was feeling touched by the Tweets of camaraderie around the NBA, or was I simply still feeling the pain for him. Or worse, making it about myself, relating the fear and agony of going through a broke ankle.

One of the best message to Hayward was from Kobe.

Be sad. Be mad. Be frustrated. Scream. Cry. Sulk. When you wake up you will think it was just a nightmare only to realize it’s all too real. You will be angry and wish for the day back, the game back THAT play back. But reality gives nothing back and nor should you. Time to move on and focus on doing everything in your power to prepare for surgery, ask all the questions to be sure you understand fully the procedure so that you may visualize it in your subconscious while being operated on and better the chance of it’s success. Then focus on the recovery process day by day by day. It’s a long journey but if you focus on the mini milestones along the way you will find beauty in the struggle of doing simple things that prior to this injury were taken for granted. This will also mean that when you return you will have a new perspective. You will be so appreciative of being able to stand, walk, run that you will train harder than you ever have. You see the belief within you grow with each mini milestone and you will come back a better player for it. Best of luck to you on this journey my brother #mambamentality always.

I can feel every single word of his.

This is one of the few times I hope I'm wrong. I hope Hayward can come back strong into the league and perform at the same level. Nobody want to see a great player like him ending his career like this.

#Prayforgordonhayward