Attend C

After being a soldier for more then a yr.. in fact almost 300 days left to ORD.. i finally gotten my very 1st attend C.. not feeling well.. coughing my life..

but so suay.. guess wat? my PS2 decide to fail me on this holy Attend C day. so i have nothing to do but stare blank and watch tv.. hate it.. why so suay? this bloody PS2 of mine.. since purchase already go fix so many times!!! and i play so little times.. !&*@%(!*@


1st was TC3 issue force me upgrade to a US set for $50 den lens problem $80 now again.. argh.... KNN!!! i wanna kill them liaoz... piss

dnno why also.. rather bad mood recently.. get into fight.. arguement like i have nv b4.. makes me feel weak and tired... wonder shld life be how it is now? or shld have take a change starting from myself?

feeling rather lost since ORD seems near ( maybe not too). everyone of my friend think i am a social smart person.. i have experience in jobs.. i have seen alot i know alot of pple and i have lobangs.. yes indeed maybe quite true..maybe not.. not for me to say.. but the more pple are looking upon me the more lost i am..

i feel like i am a good soccer player who cant find himself a field to play the soccer he wanna play and he can play.. pple always say that Smith can talk so well,experience in events management, passion for job cre8tive and things like that.. but i have no certain quanlification which can get me into a job which can let me do wat i like.. i just dun think i can get a good job and pay off well? i am feeling damm weird..

do sales? i dun wanna be a salesman my life ya know? be in a event company? how am i going abt to start ? how to i get into the field? being a MC? am i good enuff compare to those indian friends i have work w b4? be a teacher? i cant even do a cartwheel!!!

so what else can i do? computer engineer which i actualli have a DIP in? nahz.. i'll pass..sign on? i dun even like the life of being a soldier and living in a world of hierachy.. and moreover i have pass the 1 yr mark and it is totally not wise and not likely i will do it..

i dun wanna be like my cousin.. same age as my brother.. my brother have wife,car,house,career.. and he is just the opposite..

neither do i wanna be like my dad.. get a job - waste money.. no money for family, family living a life not so well of, son and daughter stress over money matters - but wel at least my dad get a job and manage to get a few kids up and kicking healthy.. i got a bad feeling i'll be worst then my dad =.=

enuff of feeling depress... now - will i go thailand soon?? i hope so.. realli need a break off reality.. well at least in thai i will feel like i'm in dream for a few weeks.. =)


"love is not finding someone u can live with..it is finding someone u cant live without"